DESDINOVA'S PODCAST - PSYCHEDELIC LIMITS - THE SPIRO AGNEW EDITION

Here is a new Psychedelic Limits podcast from your favorite subversive snowflake and nattering, nabob of negativity. I'm poking fun at the time a president and vice-president tried to ban certain rock songs.

THAT SEX EDUCATION TV SPECIAL FILMED IN MY HOMETOWN

I post many videos on this blog that I hope will evoke some memories of the past for readers. This one is a little more personal. This video, that I found on YouTube, is a personal trip back in time for me. This is The Body Human: Facts for Girls. Why would a TV special explaining puberty to girls be like a time machine to me? The reason is it was filmed in my hometown of Lebanon, Missouri.

In the late 70s and early 80s, CBS would run a health/science documentaries called The Body Human. Most of these were very technical and deep programs narrated by a Shakespearean actor named Alexander Scourby.

In 1980, CBS decided to make some episodes devoted to puberty. I'm not sure how our town or how the girls featured in the show were chosen, but it was a big deal.  Originally, it was announced that Ken Howard, star of The White Shadow, would be filming a "Facts for Boys" episode in Lebanon at the same time as Marlo Thomas was filming the "Facts for Girls." Turns out the "Facts for Boys" episode was filmed in Oregon and only the "Facts for Girls" was filmed in Lebanon.

Watching this video, for me, was a time machine back to my youth. I see what the Sonic, McDonalds and Wendys used to looked like in 1980. I see businesses that are no longer around like that convenience store on next to Sonic with the large neon sing that said "GAS,"  IGA and the old Star Theater (which was always behind on showing movies - Electric Horseman was already a year old). Also houses and buildings that are long gone, like that abandoned Candy Store across from the junior high.

I recognize many people I attended school with and many of them I still see when I'm in Lebanon, so I won't make jokes about anything they do in this video. Although I will say if those girls at the slumber party were so excited about boys, why didn't any of them look me up (I'm still available). It is jarring to think that we were so young.

This doesn't not have as much awkward stuff in it as the "Facts for Boys," which included a boy having way too much fun with his dog and a wiener roast (in a sex ed documentary for boys - think about it).

I question why the producers used two songs from the 50s in this, although the rest of it has Bee Gees and Donna Summer, which was contemporary at the time. Also the graphic used to explain menstruation is accompanied by some cool, electronic prog rock. I didn't know menstruation sounded like a Yes song (or King Crimson?)

Something I will say about this, while looking back: PHIL DONAHUE IS ONE OF THE LUCKIEST MEN ALIVE. This was filmed shortly after his marriage to Marlo Thomas. She is gorgeous in this, even while talking about puberty to girls. The one moment that has been burned in my memory, from the first time I saw this , was Marlo Thomas sitting in the grassy center of the track at Lebanon High School (which was fairly new at the time), wearing a nice, white athletic suit and telling the three girls, "I started my period today." Now that is what I call a great moment in television.

I should mention this aired locally on KOLR and was highly promoted. Unfortunatly, I didn't see it when it first aired. It aired at 3:30 p.m. and I didn't get home from school until 4 p.m. This was during the Dark Ages before VCRs or TiVo, so I didn't get to see it until it was shown to our P.E. class in 7th grade. Handy to show something made local for sex education.

Even if you all ready know the "Facts for Girls" enjoy looking at small town kids in 1980. The music, clothes and life.


      

   

The Halloween That Almost Wasn't/The Night That Dracula Saved The World

Click to enlarge ad

I'm glad I found this video. I've been looking for it to post here during the Countdown to Halloween. I remember watching this as a child and liking it, because of the monsters. I also thought it seemed more mature and intelligent than the other kid's Halloween specials.

It has references to the monster kid phenomenon, disco, TV commercials, and even a reference to the movie, Young Frankenstein. Judd Hirsch is great as Dracula. He not only sounds like Lugosi, but looks like him. John Schuck was so good as Frankenstein's monster that later, in the 80s, he played Herman on a short lived revival of The Munsters. Mariette Hartley, who was spokes person for Polaroid cameras at the time, tries to sound like Margarete Hamilton. However, many people on YouTube said that when they were kids they thought it was Cher playing the witch. Enjoy this seldom seen TV special of the 70s.

BTW, I found the TV Guide ad on Pinterest and, lo and behold, it is from the Southwest Missouri edition.

DESDINOVA'S PODCAST 3 RECREATES THE PSYCHEDELIC LIMITS

For this edition of my podcast, I attempted to recreate The Psychedelic Limits, a monthly segment I created for The Midnight Snack on KSMU in Springfield, MO., back in the late 80s. This was a spur of the moment decision, so this is not perfect. I realized that, with modern technology and resources on the Internet, I could create a new version of the radio show, I was doing as an 18 year old kid starting out in the radio industry, that would blow that show out of the water (and I will go to my grave saying it has been the best thing I ever did in radio). Unfortunately, Springfield radio shows no interest allowing me to do this kind of a show or any kind of retro show. Too creative, I guess. That and it is too intellectual for the local rednecks. It also might frighten old people. Enjoy this trip (Heh heh heh, he said trip, man!) and maybe I will create another one soon.

R. I. P ALAN ALMOND - MYSTERIOUS HOST OF RADIO'S PILLOW TALK

For a brief time, Pillow Talk with Alan Almond aired in Springfield, Missouri, on a radio station where I worked. At the time, I was lead to believe, by some, that worked with me, at the radio station, that I was the only person in the world that liked this show. However, if you was to do a search on the Internet on Alan Almond, you would find he was a legend in Detroit radio. Of course, I would always get the old saw about how "Ozarkers don't like it," so, of course, it has to be banned from the air waves.

Alan Almond died this week at age 67. You notice that there is no photo of Alan Almond at the top of this post. That is because there isn't a known photo of Alan Almond. The radio station he worked for, WNIC in Detroit, and the syndication company that produced Pillow Talk, never sent a photo of Alan. Just a silhouette, similar to those used on Facebook, when someone doesn't upload a profile photo.

Almond originated the "love song" show in the late 70s on WNIC in Detroit. He talked about it in an article on the Jacobs Media blog earlier this year. Many major and small markets heard about the show's success and created their own version. However, in the late 90s, a major radio syndication company began distributing a "love songs" show from Seattle, hosted by an annoying, sappy, preachy woman with the same name as a hair-cutting, Biblical siren. This woman took calls from people with elaborate sob stories and she played sappy, sentimental songs for them, while telling listeners not to drink soda or not to let your kids play with video games.

I bring this show up (without giving the name) because, when I first went to work for that radio station in Springfield, Missouri, they were the affiliate for the radio show hosted by the woman with the same name as the hair-cutting, Biblical siren. The syndication company was bought out by a large radio corporation (their initials were C-C), they immediately decided that since they owned a radio station in Springfield, their radio station should air that show. They fired a woman, who hosted a local "love songs" show and took the show, hosted by the woman with the same name as a hair-cutting, Biblical siren, away from the radio station where I worked. Personally, I didn't cry over not having to hear the woman with the same name as the hair-cutting, Biblical siren. We replaced her with Pillow Talk with Alan Almond.

Supposedly, everyone in Springfield hated Alan Almond. I don't believe that, because I spoke to some people, who preferred Alan Almond to that woman who has the same name as the hair-cutting, Biblical siren. One thing I should point out is that men said they liked Alan Almond better than the woman with the same name as the hair-cutting, Biblical siren. I noticed the co-workers that hated the show were older people. Go figure. Of course, Ozarkers like preachy stuff.

This is why I was surprised that several of my co-workers alerted me to the death of Alan Almond earlier this week. Then again, these were real on-air radio people. They understood what made Alan Almond great. He created a magic world that he transported you to where wishes came true and love was the most important thing one could possess. He always talked about embracing your inner child, which maybe why Ozarkers hated him (Ozarkers hate kids). Also, Alan Almond didn't played what was know in radio at the time as "quiet storm music" or light R & B, another no-no in the Ozarks.

How better to pay tribute one of radio's greatest voices than with two of his most famous "bits." The "Make a Wish" segment and his closing with "Summer Madness" by Kool & the Gang playing in the background. On the syndicated show, he would use a line borrowed from Red Skelton, "If you remember something I said and it makes you smile, then our time together was well spent. Sweet dreams angel."

I COULD HAVE BEEN CHARLIE

The horrible events in Paris last week and the upcoming eighth anniversary of the original Desdinova the Super Villain of the Ozarks blog, made me ponder a serious question: Could an attack like the one at Charlie Hebdo happen here in the United States of America? Yes, as a matter of fact, it could have happened to me several times.

The original blog was a satirical jabs at what was going on in the news, with a few real news pieces hear and there. Much of the content was poking fun at the talk radio industry and a very popular talk radio show host here in Springfield, Missouri. At that time, poking fun at this guy was the equivalent of poking fun of the prophet Mohammed. His listeners were radical fanatics. Before I started the blog, I enraged his fans when the Springfield News Leader ran a article about his marathon broadcast during the ice storm with a photo of him, his wife and his dog. I posted a comment over on Ron Davis' Chatter blog about the photo, something like "Which one is his wife and which one is his dog?" I was the most hated man in Springfield, Missouri, because he supposedly cried about it on-air during his show. Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Let me explain that the persona of Desdinova started because this talk radio show host would go on attack people on Chatter and the Missouri Radio Message Board. He would say crude and disrespectful things about TV news personalities and other radio stations. Needless to say, I never felt one bit of remorse poking fun at this guy and trying to knock him off of the pedestal he had place himself upon.   

Let me say this from experience, talk radio personalities are some of the scummiest people in the world. They are heartless, mean-spirited jerks. Like the playground bully, they will call you names, insult you, and want to fight you, but when you retaliate and get the best of them, they cry and whine like a infant with a wet diaper. They then start their, "They are out to get me" routine. This causes their nitwit fans to feel sorry for them and rally to show their support. This guy was a master at that game. He had his audience believing that not only was I a threat to his well-being, but his life was threatened by "devil worshipers" and "anti-war activist."

From the moment I began the blog, the fans of this talk show host were leaving hateful and threatening messages on the blog. Several called for my death. There were also several blogs that sprang up to champion this talk radio show host and slam me. These bloggers were claiming I was "unethical" and "cowardly" because I didn't have "my real name" or "home address" on my blog. Really? Put my name and home address on my blog, so every hot-headed psychopath in Springfield and the world could see it? I wasn't stupid. I was a student at SMSU during the Normal Heart uproar when students had their tires slashed on their cars and one student had his home burned to the ground. Springfield gets violent with people who have a different opinion than theirs, especially when there is a charismatic figure agitating them.

I should also bring up here that those nasty comments by this guy left on Chatter and Missouri Radio Message Board were usually under the name "The Talk Radio Guy." So, he used an alias too, but because I was making him look like the fool that he really was, he and his sycophantic followers portrayed me out to be the bad guy (or super-villain). He was trashing local media right and left once on one of these sight, when I asked him (not knowing who he was) "What do you like - that new guy on K*** named John Jacob Jinglehimerschmit?"  At the time I didn't know his name, only that he used his first and middle names. The news director at the radio station I worked at recognized this guy as a someone, who had been fired from a radio station in Jefferson City, where he had previously worked. There this radio host used his real name and, oddly enough, his real name sounded like Jinglehimerschmitt. This "Talk Radio Guy" informed me of the name of the host at our competing radio station and then said that "I should have more respect for a talented broadcaster and true conservative." Note this was after he had slammed some of my co-workers and several TV news people.

So I found a way to needle him, that used to cause him to lash out at me on these message boards. I would refer to him using his current on-air name, but between the middle and last name I would add 'John Jacob Jinglehimerschmitt' and several great vocalise song titles from the 50s and 60s, such as "Doo Wah Diddy Diddy Do," "Rama Lama Ding Dong," "Papa Ooo-Mow-Mow" and others. I even added the 70s McDonald's Big Mac jingle to his name. He and his followers didn't like it, but everyone else thought it was funny.

Most of what I said was so harmless, so goofy and so outrageous, that I still can't believe anyone was upset about it. One thing that upset this talk radio host and his fans was jokes I made about "when I marry Paris Hilton." This guy had a deep and disturbing hatred for celebrities (which bothered me because I consider myself one), especially female celebrities...and especially Paris Hilton. I have been told by one person, who worked at that radio station, that this host would get violently angry when he read my blog. They knew I had mentioned Paris Hilton, because he would have a major meltdown in his office. He once screamed "HOW CAN HE SAY PARIS HILTON IS BETTER LOOKING THAN SARAH PALIN?," then he threw or kicked his waste basket across the room. To me, that sounds like someone with serious mental issues.

Most of the time what made this guy and his fans upset was basically that I made a snarky post that was the opposite of what he had said on his show that morning. Honestly, that was all I had to do to make people mad. If he said something like, "I think we should publicly execute anyone who drinks Diet Pepsi," I would say something on my blog like "When I the take over the world, I will force everyone to drink Diet Pepsi. If they resist, they WILL DIE! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" They next day, he would be on his radio show complaining that an anonymous blogger was a "threat to the him" and "the community at large" because of my "anti-American opinions" (a nervy accusation to make about me since he was a Canadian - BTW I have nothing against Canadians). All I did was reverse the crazy things he said.

As I mentioned before, the whole Desdinova persona was a combination of several pop culture villains. I thought everyone spent Saturday morning watching cartoon where a villain bragged about what he would do when he "ruled the world." Once I said in a post that "everyone will bow to me, Desdinova the Super-Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" One of this guys little minions posted on my blog, "I will not bow to you. I will only serve the Lord Jesus Christ." That made me fell like dirt. Also the fact this person didn't want me to rule the world hurt my self-esteem. 

I was not a listener to his show, but I knew what he did, because he would post clips from his show on his radio station's website. Also our boss forced our news director to tape his show and give a report on what topics were discussed on that his show. I recently found a file of these reports at work and found that our news director noted "He had a rant about the 'masked anonymous blogger' ridiculing him."

You would think people in the media industry would find this funny, since this guy like to attack them. The News Leader editorial board was against "anonymous bloggers" and one columnist especially didn't like me because they were a big fan of this talk radio show host (also I had made light of one of her columns about how she didn't like a local urban legend being turned into a horror film). Also a family member, who worked at the time for another radio station cluster in town, mentioned me for an open position and was told I was banned from working there, because they thought my satirical website poking fun of a rival radio station's personality was "unethical" and "unprofessional."

Even people I worked with didn't support me. Two salesmen at the radio station cluster I worked for had a big man crush on this host and his radio station. They kept telling me that I had "no right to make fun of him" and they were going to reveal my identity to him. With co-workers like that, who needs enemies.

I will say that I had more supporters among the local TV news people and some of the people who had to work at the radio station with this talk radio host. I've heard some scary story about this guy threatening people and trying to fight people. He almost punched a legendary broadcaster in this community, when he visited the radio station, because he thought this man was Desdinova (which was the subject of the cartoon above).  Also heard a funny story about how this guy sent around a memo at the radio station saying he didn't want "homosexuals using the same bathroom as him" after finding a pink toothbrush in the men's room.

This guy may have jumped the shark when he claimed the mayor and other Springfield official were covering up the fact that a gang of devil worshipers were living in tunnels under Park Central Square in Springfield. That was what was so great about the old blog, because as David Letterman would say, "The comedy just writes itself." I immediately began posting about "my secret laboratory and hideout below the city at 666 Park Central Square."

Do I still receive death threats today? No. I've not received a threatening message in several years. One reason is, of course, I started a new blog that focused on retro pop culture and abstained from too much satire of current events. Also, that talk radio show host is no longer on the air. When he was fired from the radio station he worked for, I was like David Frye when President Nixon resigned and LBJ died or Yakoff Schmirnoff when the Iron Curtain fell.

The bloggers that were against me all disappeared around the same time. I guess without a hero to stand up for, they decided there was no point in going on. They may have moved to Facebook, but  who would want to "friend" them. One blogger made one post about me and that was it. He was especially upset that I said I wanted to ban country music. I only found the blog after I Googled the name of the blog. One blogger once posted a picture of Stalin on his website and linked it to my blog.
 
I should also point out that some of the worst death threats I got had nothing to do with this talk radio show host. It was about the case in St. Louis where a mother created a My Space site to attack her daughter's classmate, causing the girl to commit suicide. After that I stopped allowing comments on my blog. After that, a talk radio show host who worked for my company wanted me to reopen the comments so he could "debate me on the issues." I said to him, "Why do you want to debate the opinions of a guy, who wears a mask and claims to live under the city square with an army of robots and a death ray?" I honestly don't think he understood how stupid he and those others looked taking me so serious. 

Through all of this craziness, I never did fear for my life, because very few people knew who Desdinova really was. A former classmate from Lebanon tried to out me on another website, but I had that removed (kind of nervy for a guy named Bubba).

My enemies might claim to be "Standing Up For What Is Right," but as the killers of the Charlie Hebdo staff found out, killing is always against the law. It is even wrong to kill the Super-Villain of the Ozarks!!!Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!     


       

I HAD AN ODD CONVERSATION ABOUT ELI WALLACH ONCE

Eli Wallach as Tuco in The Good The Bad and The Ugly

Actor Eli Wallach died at age 98. He was in two of my favorite Westerns, The Magnificent Seven and The Good, The Bad and The Ugly, as well as an appearance on Batman as Mr. Freeze.

His death reminded me of a somewhat odd conversation about Wallach with legendary Springfield journalist/blogger Ron Davis at a going away party for Tony Messenger, when he was leaving The Springfield News Leader to go to The St. Louis Post Dispatch. Ron mentioned that Wallach had once shared a slow dance with Marilyn Monroe and how we, as journalist, would like to ask him what it was like to dance with Marilyn.

How did we get off on that subject? Ron brought up Wallach because of a strange incident that involved Tony Messenger from about a week or so earlier. It happened at what was supposed to be a panel discussion on immigration.  One of the participants on the panel besides Tony was a local talk radio show host with a huge cult following, even though this host had the mental stability of the proverbial outhouse rat. This guy is the reason I started the old blog. This guy had gotten into some battles with me on Ron's Chatter blog and Missouri Radio Message Board. I decided to start my own blog, so I could fully poke fun at this guy and make satirical comments on other news topics of the day. A person, who worked in the news department at the radio station that carried his show, told me that when he would read my blog he would fly into a mad fit cussing and throwing things. That makes me proud to find out i had that effect on him.
 

Franco Nero in Django

Back to the story. This host had showed up at this panel discussion dressed like Franco Nero in the movie Django. He ranted, raved and accused a local group that helps Mexican immigrants in the area of sneaking Al Qaeda terrorist into the country and changing their names to "Juan and Jose." Then he hurled a brown paper bag with two tennis balls at Tony, telling him it would be "the only sack of balls he would ever have."  As Dave Barry would say, I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP.

We began discussing why did this talk radio host dress in this Spaghetti Western outfit, when Ron Davis put forth an intriguing idea. "Maybe he thought he would be allowed to hang Eli Wallach like in The Good, The Bad and the Ugly."

And that is how we got off on the subject of Eli Wallach. 

DESDINOVA'S FAVORITE BEATLES SONGS

This week marks the 50th anniversary of The Beatles appearing on The Ed Sullivan Show. It is the 50th anniversary of The Beatles launching the British invasion, dominating the record charts and becoming one of the most influential acts in pop music history. Of course, this also means that, while the mainstream media celebrates this great anniversary, the local media (especially the Springfield News Leader) will inform us that "Ozarks-don't-like-them-thar-Beatles." This has happened many times over the past few years. Instead of talking to the ultimate Beatle-fan or a music professor to explain how the Beatles changed music, the News Leader will find a crabby, old white man (around 90 years old), who will say they "just made noise" or some bat-guano-crazy woman in her 60's, who organized an anti-Beatle group in high school in 1964 or later. When "Free As a Bird" was released, the News Leader had an article about how none of the Springfield radio stations were going to play it. I'm sure some of the local talk radio nitwits will bash the Beatles. 

Thankfully, you have me, Desdinova the Super Villain of the Ozarks, to save the day.  I have compiled a list of my 64 favorite songs by the Beatles songs.  I picked 64 because 1964 was the year the Beatles came to America and we are better off because they did.

1. I Feel Fine
2. I Am the Walrus
3. Can't Buy Me Love
4. I Want to Hold You Hand
5. Rain
6. Strawberry Fields Forever
7. Tomorrow Never Knows
8. Ticket to Ride
9. A Hard Days Night
10. Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds
11. And Your Bird Can Sing
12. Magical Mystery Tour
13. Hey Bulldog
14. We Can Work It Out
15. I'll Be Back
16. She Loves You
17. Drive My Car
18. I Saw Her Standing There
19. Helter Skelter
20. Sgt Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band
21. Day Tripper
22. Paperback Writer
23. Revolution
24. Eight Days a Week
25. Got To Get You Into My Life
26. Help!
27. Taxman
28. Don't Bother Me
29. No Reply
30. You Won't See Me
31. All My Loving
32. Things We Said To Day
33. I'm Looking Through You
34. Blue Jay Way
35. Come Together
36. Something
37. I Need You
38. Glass Onion
39. I'm Down
40. Doctor Robert
41. Nowhere Man
42. Tell Me Why
43. All You Need is Love
44. I'll Cry Instead
45. Another Girl
46. While My Guitar Gently Weep
47. Baby You're a Rich Man
48. I Want You (She's So Heavy)
49. You Can't Do That
50. Old Brown Shoe
51. It Won't Be Long
52. It's All Too Much
53. Love Me Do
54. I'm Only Sleeping
55. Get Back
56. Getting Better
57. Eleanor Rigby
58. Hey Jude
59.Your Mother Should Know
60. Hello Goodbye
61. Yellow Submarine
62. Penny Lane
63. A Day In The Life
64. Free as a Bird

BTW: After I wrote this intro, KY 3 news posted some great stories by journalist Ed Filmer from 2000 about the Beatles secret trip to the Ozarks. One features syndicated radio personality Jim Bohannon.
This one is about the ranch they stayed at in Alton, Missouri.  

KGBX AM COMMERCIAL FROM 1983

This is a commercial for Springfield, Missouri radio station KGBX from 1983. At that time the radio station was on AM. They are now at 105.9 FM. I remembered this commercial after watching it again for one single image: the baby with headphones on and James Taylor's "Your Smiling Face" playing in the background. The only thing that could have made this commercial more exciting would have been Deborah Shelton.

I'M STILL A GENERATION X SLACKER AND PROUD OF IT!

In recent weeks, I've starting seeing articles about "What happened to the Generation X slackers?" Most of these articles surmised that they "grew up to be responsible, hard working adults." Whatever!

First off, I'm probably the only person who wasn't offended by either the term "Generation X" or "slacker." As a matter of fact, I liked because being a "slacker" kind of sounded like being a "hippie." We dressed kind of like hippies and had our own music and culture like the hippies. I, myself, had a soul patch, wore Converse Chuck Taylor sneakers and Bart Simpson T-shirt, usually carried a copy of both Rolling Stone and Spin with me, and listened to Nirvana, Blind Mellon and REM on my Walkman. I even read Generation X: Tales of an Accelerated Culture by Douglas Coupland, because I considered it a kind of Bible of the subculture I in which belonged.

Also, like the hippies, we were hated by a certain segment of the older generation. We were hated by Baby Boomers. According to them, we were lazy, stupid, arrogant and had no taste in music. Whatever!

I first realized how bad this bigotry and hatred was at the first job I had out of college.  I worked at one of the local newspapers. Among the career goals I had considered was to have my own syndicated newspaper column, sort of like Dave Barry, Joe Queenan, Art Buchwald and Ron Davis' Chatter in the News Leader. I had researched how to land a syndicated newspaper column and I knew I had to have tare sheets or clippings of an actual column to submit to a syndicate. My supervisor and managing editor was a Baby Boomer. When I told him that I wanted to write a column from a liberal Generation X perspective, he flew into a rage and snarled, "Absolutely not! Nobody cares what people of your generation's opinions."  Whatever! (I guess he would rather read Bill O'Rielly, or a column by his wife or a real estate guy, who thinks it is cool to use the word "cattywompus" in his radio commercials).

Another Baby Boomer that I've had the displeasure of working with, enjoyed making jokes on the radio about Generation Xer's "who get them thar big college degrees and wind up asking ya if ya want fries with yer burger." I should note that this guy DOESN'T HAVE A COLLEGE DEGREE (but I've noticed several people people on Facebook, who are not college graduates, make this same stupid joke). He also didn't like that I had worked at the college radio station playing rock music. He didn't think that should be allowed on a radio station that received money from taxpayers. Whatever! (I didn't have the money to bribe a radio station to give me a radio show).

Most of these articles about "what happen to Generation X slackers" point out what we Generation X members already knew, we really weren't lazy or stupid. We quietly went to work, many times multi-tasking, doing things that we wanted to do and doing them our way. Granted, that has been hard for me to a degree, but I guess you could say this blog and my previous one is an example of me making the best of a bad situation and getting personal satisfaction from it, even if there isn't any pay. It is more for us personal rewards and goals than a huge house, fancy cars, stocks and bonds.


I discovered this video on You Tube about Millennials. Yes, every thing the actors playing Millennials in this video say Baby Boomers accuse them of are the same things they accused us Generation Xer's of. The only difference is you could substitute Brady Bunch for Full House and it is exactly the same thing I was hear nearly twenty years ago.

I should point out that the Baby Boomers who gave me grief about being a Generation X slacker were Republicans. They were not the cool Baby Boomers who would have cool stories about hitchhiking to a Grateful Dead concert in Laurel Canyon and seeing Tom Smothers and Peter Fonda in the crowd. These were the Baby Boomers have been wearing a suit and tie since they were 10 years old. They seem to be upset that I wasn't more concerned about "welfare queens" or "the drug epidemic." Whatever!

Those two Baby Boomers I mentioned above have probably come around to the fact that they like some Generation Xers. I know for a fact these two still hate my guts (And yes, they know each other because second one brags that his sister dated the first guy), so I know I'm not their ideal Gen Xer. Their ideal Generation Xer is this guy:

And this guy:

Whatever!

I'm know I'm way cooler than those two Preppies. You see, even though I have had to shave off the soul patch and wear dress clothes to work, I'm still the slacker in the Bart Simpson t-shirt, who reads Rolling Stone, watches MST3K and Beavis and Butthead, and can't decide whether his personal theme song should be "No Rain" or "Smells Like Teen Spirit."

Opinions, like these, are why I'm considered the Super-Villain of the Ozarks!!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!    

LOOKING BACK AT KYTV's CHILDREN'S HOUR

If you grew up in the Ozarks between the 50s and 80s, you will remember The Children's Hour. The longest host was "Aunt" Norma Champion. Here is a great video KYTV's Ed Filmer made for the 60th anniversary of KYTV Channel 3. The link below will take you to it.
Remembering KY3's Aunt Norma and The Children's Hour

SPRINGFIELD RADIO PERSONALITY ALEX STONE DIES

I hated to hear about the passing of radio personality Alex Stone. Alex was heard on many Springfield, Missouri radio stations such as KWTO-FM (99 Hit FM at the time), US 97, KGBX-FM, Hot 106.7, KOSP - Oldies 105.1, Mix/Magic 92.9 and B 95.5.

What I liked about Alex Stone, he didn't conform to the Ozarks style" or radio. He didn't try to sound like a hillbilly or a wimpy, hen-pecked husband.  Alex Stone sounded like a real big city Top 40 DJ - So Help Me, Real Don Steele!

I've linked to Ron Davis' Act Your Old Age blog. Ron worked with Alex at Radio 2000.

ACT YOUR OLD AGE: GOODBYE, BUDDY:

WORST JOB l EVER HAD - WATERLESS COOKWARE SALESMAN (While Bullied by Texans)

A song can bring back memories, both good and bad. Sometimes they are stupid. One that brings both bad and stupid memories for me is "Walking In Memphis" by Marc Cohn. I didn't like the song from the minute I heard it on the radio, but started hating it even more because I associate it with my short lived stint as a waterless cookware salesman. Let's set the time machine for May 1991.

My parents always wanted me to get a summer job when I was in college,but I have always had a hard time finding a good job. The problem with being in a college town (contrary to what people say Springfield Missouri is a college town) The News Leader is filled job notices for crappy direct sales jobs in the spring. They are usually a mass recruiting for commission only sales of expensive stuff nobody would want...like cleaning products or waterless cookware.

The people recruiting and training for the waterless cookware company were from Texas. This was the start of my dislike for Texans, with the exception of Joe Bob Briggs, Mike Nesmith, Roky Erickson, Stephen Stills, Morgan Fairchild, the Dixie Chicks, ZZ Top and the late Molly Ivins. They are just really arrogant, obnoxious, pushy, hot-headed people, who believe that everyone should do things their way, nobody should tell them what to do and you are worthless if you don't want to be like a Texan. They believe that nobody in the other states measure up to their greatness and they really shouldn't have to be a part of the United States of America. This is why they keep wanting to secede from the Union. "So help me Mitch Miller!" (Sorry, I had to throw a Stan Freburg reference here).

The other problem with these people were they were sales types. They worshipped at the all mighty alter of Zig Zigglar, who they claimed had worked for their company (Big whoop). They believed selling this stuff was more important than anything in the world. Forget your family, your girlfriend, even your college education and your future career, you are now a member of the cult of waterless cookware. You should even stop to eat, rest or go to the bathroom until you have made a sale. They actually told that I would be better off dropping out of college and making waterless cookware sales my career.

This cookware and fancy china they wanted you to sell was $800 in 1991. Gosh knows what it would cost now in 2013. That made me realize I was not going to be able to make any money, because nobody was going to pay $800 for this stuff.

The Texans in charge of the Springfield office were a guy and his fiance (I don't remember their names and that is good because they might sue me if they read this). They trained us in how to make sales calls and give these demonstrations on how to use the cookware. We were given literature about the company and these two were in just about every photograph.

This is where the song "Walking in Memphis" comes in. This Texas cookware guy was constantly singing that song, when he wasn't lecturing me on how I needed to have more "zeal" for selling and I should accept Zig Zigglar as my personal Savior. His fiance was even more obnoxious than him, as a matter of fact, she was downright hateful (I will be politically correct here and not use that word that begins with a "B").  She looked like Liza Minnelli, only with out the giggly, bubbly personality and more make-up. Among the things I didn't like about her was she didn't like The Simpsons and she said Imo's Pizza was "the worst pizza she ever had."

They trained us to do these demonstration of how the cookware worked. They told us the easiest thing to cook was carrots. For some reason the Texas had some sort of stupid rule that you were not supposed to peel the carrots. They were obsessive about this carrot rule. Everyone in the group had to give a practice demonstration in front of the other recruits. I decided that I was not going to tell people to not peel their carrots. My mother peels carrots before she cooked them, my Grandma Jones peeled carrots before she cooked them and my sister, Villanova, peels carrots before she cooks them, and since I'm a laid back, "do-your-own-thing" liberal, I was going to tell people that it was okay to peel your carrots. I was doing my demonstration and I got to the carrot preparation. "Next you wash and peel your carrots," I explained to the group, like I was an infomercial doofus. Those words had barely left my mouth when the Cookware Sales Queen of the Lone Star State snaps, "You are not supposed to peel the carrots." I tried to be diplomatic and said, "You can leave the peel on, if you like, or peel them if you want." She went ballistic, "I SAID YOU DON'T TELL THEM TO PEEL THE CARROTS! YOU ARE TO LEAVE THE PEEL ON THE CARROTS! DO YOU NOT KNOW HOW TO FOLLOW DIRECTIONS?"

In review, if anyone ask you what Texans are passionate about, you can say they are anti-gun control, anti-gay marriage, anti-evolution and anti-peeling carrots. Here I should mention that in training they wanted us to say that eating food cooked in waterless cookware was "better for you than fast food." However, if the person you were giving the demonstration to said it was easier for them to eat fast food than pay $800 for waterless cookware, then you were supposed to tell them that fast food companies give much of their revenue to "an undesirable group" such as pornographers, atheist organizations, gay rights organizations or devil worshiping churches.

"I don't think that is ethical?" I questioned them on this practice.

"WHY DO YOU NOT WANT TO DO WHAT WE TELL YOU?" The Cookware Sales Queen of the Lone Star State yelled at me. "We have won awards as top sales people with the company. We know what we are doing!" She was so mad her thick layer of make-up was starting to crack.

Next day, I had to go out with the Cookware Sales King of the Lone Star State, who would burst into singing "Walking in Memphis" every five minutes. He had the names of girls and newlywed couples he wanted to try to sell waterless cookware on index cards.

"We have a person at the home office that can access membership list of sororities and wedding gift registries," this guy said between random lyrics of "Walking In Memphis." Thinking about it this now, this seems very unsafe and an invasion of privacy. Hopefully there are now laws against obtaining this information because this would be a treasure to sexual predators. 

I casually mentioned that I was not interested in talking to a girl named Andrea, who I had been in a bad relationship with, especially since she said she hated me and I told her I would never speak to her again (Although, I did look up her name on Facebook - Her profile listed Sarah Palin as a person she admired and she belonged to group "Women For Todd Akin" - I'm glad now that she hated me). The Texan kind of ignored that comment. I also mentioned that I probably would not get any sales from the girls i went to school with in Lebanon, because they hated my guts.

Not the real Eunice Moneymaker but a reasonable facsimile

I then saw a card that made my blood run cold with disgust and fear: "Jack & Eunice Strapp - From Lebanon now living in Springfield." Those who have read the old blog and this one recognize that "Eunice" is the name of the girl I liked in junior high and high school, Eunice Moneymaker. At that time, she had just gotten married to muscle-bound athlete named Jack Strapp, Lebanon High School Class of 85. This guy lived on a diet of steroids and was know to beat people to a bloody pulp if they even spoke to Eunice. I knew that I was not going to their house, because Jack Strapp would beat me to death and leave the remains at the curb in a Hefty bag. Well, it was the Cookware Sales King of the Lone Star State's turn to go ballistic on me this time.


"YOU WILL NEVER MAKE A SALE IF YOU DON'T LEARN TO TALK TO PEOPLE! FOR A PERSON WHO IS STUDYING COMMUNICATIONS AND MEDIA, YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH TALKING TO PEOPLE! I AM GOING TO MAKE YOU GO TO THEIR APARTMENT TODAY AND GIVE THEM A DEMONSTRATION!" The problem wasn't that I didn't want to talk to people, I just didn't like confrontation or death.I also didn't want my death certificate to read "Beaten to death while pretending to cook unpeeled carrots."
          
We went to four of the addresses on the cards. Two of the girls were not at home and at the other two, we talked to roommates who really wouldn't tell us when the girl  One of the names on the index cards was a girl that I graduated with at Lebanon High School. I mentioned I knew this girl and Tex decided he had to "make sure" I made a sales call on her. She also wasn't at home and her roommate, a friend of Eunice's, wouldn't let us in. She kept the door chained, but that didn't stop Tex from talking.

"We will check back later. I want to make sure Mr. Desdinova discusses our product and gives you and your roommate a demonstration. He seems to be intimidated by women." Great! Not only can he not figure out that people don't want to hear about the virtues of waterless cookware, he has to humiliate me in front of girl's from Lebanon, who didn't have a high opinion of me in the first place."While I'm talking to you, let me ask you if you know this couple and is this their correct address?"

"Yes, that is where Eunice lives," She answered then she gave me a dirty look.

"Good, I'm going to make sure Mr. Desdinova give Mrs. Strapp a demonstration of our product. Mr. Desdinova is trying to get out of this by claiming  that her husband will beat him up."

"He probably will," she said.

"Most people are really happy to have us in their homes and giving a demonstration of our product," he explained with unabashed enthusiasm before uttering an even stupider statement. "He also has nothing to worry about, I carry a gun for my protection."

MIKE "MEATHEAD" STIVIC

ROLLIE FINGERS

We left and drove across town to the apartment where Eunice and her husband lived. I lucked out because they were not at home. No beatings and no shootings. I wonder if  it was just luck or Eunice's friend called and said, "Dedinova is on his way over to your house with an obnoxious guy from Texas that looks like a cross between Mike Stivic (Top) and Rollie Fingers (Bottom)...they are going to try to sell you waterless cookware. Hide and don't answer the door."

The Cookware Sales King of the Lone Star State at the end of the day decided that I needed a "goal" and an "ultimatum." He gave me a stack of the index cards and said I had to talk to at least five girls the next day alone or he would "chaperon" me the next week on calls. I agreed to it, because I noticed that many of the names were girls I had class with at SMSU. With the exception of Andrea, I got along good with girls I had class with at SMSU, who were from KC and St. Louis, I just didn't get along very good with girls from Lebanon (Andrea was not from Lebanon but another small town. I can't remember which one - I think they have a fair there).

I noticed that the name of one of the index cards was a girl named Annette. I sat next to Annette in film history class and made her giggle uncontrollably during Ingmar Bergman's Autumn Sonata by simply saying "This movie blows." She was a beautiful girl with long, jet black hair, blue eyes and a nice tan. Annette was my first sales call. She invited me into her apartment and I told her what I was doing. She said that since she was graduating that week, she would be moving back home to St. Louis, so she wouldn't be available for demonstration. I explained my situation and asked her about some of the other names on the index cards. Annette must have felt sorry for me having this crummy sales job, because she was very courteous, helpful and hospitable. When I told her about the training session, she said, "She yelled at you for pealing carrots? What a bitch!"

From Annette's apartment, I drove back to campus and went to the Alpha Sig house to talk to Julie, a cute, bubbly blond. She was also graduating and going back to St. Louis. When I also told her about the job and what had went on in the training session, she too said, "She yelled at you for pealing carrots? What a bitch!"  

From the Alpha Sig house, I went to Sigma Kappa house and talked to Johnna and Chantel. Chantel was headed home to KC after graduation and Johnna was leaving for the summer but said I might contact her in the fall. Both Johnna and Chantel said, "She yelled at you for pealing carrots? What a bitch!" Chantel wondered if they had medication for behavior like that or if society would be better off if Tex's fiance was put under psychiatric care for outburst like that.

My next stop was the Tri-Sig house, where I talked to Sandy and Kerri, two blond girls who looked like they should have been sisters. They were leaving for the summer but said for me to come back in the fall if I was still working for that company and give a demonstration to all of the Tri-Sigs. They said that it would be fine with them if I wanted to peal the carrots.

I also went to the apartment of an attractive, but rather tall blond named Jill, that I had some classes with. She was leaving Springfield for her home in KC, but would be back in July. She was also appalled by the fact that I got yelled at for wanting to peal the carrots. Jill gave me some encouragement. "I'm sure something better will come along for you. You are a good person and very smart." I gave her a hug and left with a smile on my face. Not sure if the Texans would have approved of my hugging someone who didn't buy any waterless cookware, but then again Tex was ready to shoot Jack Strapp.

Now I could go to the office and show the Texans that had talked to SEVEN leads that day. Naturally, all my work wasn't good enough for the Texans. "You should have gotten these girls to give you their addresses in St. Louis and Kansas City," Mr. Waterless Cookware of Texas complained. Dejected and demoralized after I had, like Napoleon Dynamite's brother, spent a wonderfully fun day of "talking to fabulous babes."

When I arrived at my apartment, there was a message on my answering machine from one of the professors in the media department. I returned the call the next morning to find out that I could use my independent study credits for an internship in the news department at KOLR-TV. No pay, just credit and experience. The choice had to be made between working in a TV newsroom with broadcasting professionals or being forced to try and sell expensive waterless cookware by crazy Texans. I chose the KOLR internship.

I took the sample cases filled with cookware, silverware and dishes back to the office on South Campbell. Tex wasn't too upset and seemed to be happy for me, but his fiance gave me a tongue lashing.

"How could you make such a stupid mistake? You are throwing your life away. You will never amount to anything if you don't continue with us. Don't you know that nobody likes the news media people!" Like people just love door-to-door-cookware-sales people.

I interned at KOLR-TV over two semesters as part of the independent study program. There I got to meet and work with Tom Trtan, Ted Keller, Steve LaRocco, Jill Jensen, Lisa Forgey, Dan Lucy, Scott Opher, among others (in case I forgot someone). I also had a wonderful supervisor and teacher, Lissa Page-Wood, who was always very encouraging to me. At KOLR, I learned hands on about news gathering and TV production. While I haven't had a job in TV, I use much of what i learned from the news team putting together radio news.

You notice I haven't given you the name of the waterless cookware company or the couple from Texas. It isn't because I didn't want to embarrass them, because I would love to do that. It is because I can't remember the name of the company or either the guy or the gal from Texas names. The girls names I remember. As a matter of fact, I've tried to find them on Facebook, sadly to no avail.

This ugly episode had kind of blocked it from my mind until I started hearing "Walking In Memphis" again on local radio, causing me to have back flashbacks to the strange moment in my college career. This blog post was supposed to be quick and easy for me, but the memories came flooding back like a backed up septec tank. It took me a week to write this and get it posted. Retro music, oldies or whatever you call it can trigger memories, both good and bad and stupid.       

I SHOULD HAVE BEEN A OLD LADY

With the passing of Jonathan Winters, I thought of something he said in an interview in the PBS documentary Make Me Laugh. He was talking about the character of Maude Frickert (above). He mentioned that when he was dressed as Maude Frickert, he could get away with saying just about anything.

Also in the documentary, Whoopie Goldberg discusses how she was doing an imitation of African-American comedian Moms Mabley (above) on Saturday Night Live and one of the jokes was cut from the show by Standards and Practices as being obscene, even though she had remembered Mabley doing the same joke on The Flip Wilson Show in the early 70s. Both Winters and Goldberg attributed this to the fact that Maude Frickert and Moms Mabely were perceived "harmless" old ladies.

Hind sight 20/20, if I had known that back when I started the original blog, I would not have chosen the persona of a comic book/movie serial, megalomaniac super-villain (with a crush of Paris Hilton) to do my controversial blogging on current topics. Ozarkers for some reason feared Desdinova, as if there really was a megalomaniac plotting to take over America from his hide out under Park Central Square. I have been told that some people actually called Springfield Police to ask why they hadn't attempted to arrest me before I banned talk radio with the aid of my giant robot and my raygun that turned people "gay."
 
Instead I should have been an old lady with salty opinions on current events and local media personalities. I probably could have named her after my own grandma and called her Grandma Jones (Because there are probably millions of Grandma Jones in the world). To add to what Jonathan Winters and Whoopie Goldberg theorized about Maude Frickert and Moms Mabley, Ozarkers tend to worship old people and believe they are smarter than most highly educated people. So I could have got away with saying things like, "My third husband used to spout off crazy opinions like KSGF's Vincent David Jericho, but I found the perfect thing to stop that - I gave him poison" or "That Billy Long is such a big ignoramus. Someone ought to rip his Fruit of the Looms off, while he is STILL WEARING THEM!" or "Did you ever notice the people who hate rap and hip hop are the same morons who like Hank Williams Jr and that Chicken Fried song" or "I don't know why folks around here don't like Honey Boo Boo, she got those cute little dimples. They tell me they prefer to watch Duck Dynasty. I'll be those stupid guys on that show are covered in tick and chiggers."

People would have just said "That old lady is funny. We ought to have her over for dinner Sunday after church."

Then again, my opinions are why I'm considered the Super Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  

SPRINGFIELD MISSOURI LIKED DISCO IN 1979

You may have noticed that at the top of the blog, among the clutter in the masthead, is a Springfield magazine about disco. The issue is from July 1979. The article says there are three discos in Springfield: Wicker Works at the Sheraton Inn, Merlins's at the Hilton Inn and Lucy's at the Holiday Inn. You may not believe it, but I remember the names of these places from my childhood. Of course, they are no longer in existence.

Brenda May - Desdinova's favorite teacher

One thing I noticed in this article was that you could take free lessons on "how to disco dance" on Tuesday nights at Wicker Works from Brenda May. This caught my attention because Brenda May was not only my drama and speech teacher in 10th and 11th grade at Lebanon High School, but she was one of my all time favorite teachers. She gave me confidence when nobody else would by telling me to go to college and follow my dream of a media career. A few years back, I tracked her down via the Internet and sent her an e-mail, thanking her for her encouragement and kindness. She was also the sexiest teacher I ever had.

Another name mentioned in this article is Ruthann Schwenn, who was public relations and marketing for Wicker Works. I have several Springfield magazines from this era and they contain several photos of Ms. Schwenn. She was very attractive. I would be interested in knowing what became of her.

The article was written by Katie Dark, who is now know as Katie Hilton of the Lebanon Daily Record. This article is very informative and well written. Luckily it is not filled with the disgusting Republican propaganda that fills her column in the Sunday edition of  The Lebanon Daily Record (I could eat a can of alphabet soup and barf up a better column than she writes now).

The thing that this article says to me indirectly, some 34 years later, is that at one time Springfield was interested in new things and new trends. In the past few years, local media has given us the impression that Springfield isn't interested in anything modern and contemporary. They present the views of a few fun-hating, anti-entertainment idiots as the majority view point of everyone in the Ozarks. It was nice to know that at least one media outlet in the Ozarks (Sadly, no longer published) didn't view national entertainment trends as a threat to "our quality of life" in the Ozarks.

BTW: You realize that I'm now going to have to post an disco Ipod playlist.  

Mr. Food passes away - KLTV.com

Mr. Food, seen on KLTV7 for years, passes away - KLTV.com-Tyler, Longview, Jacksonville, Texas | ETX News

Mr. Food was a staple on local TV station KOLR for many years. This was the only obit I could quick link to with Blogger. 

THE MISIDENTIFIED HITS OF ROCK & ROLL

While working at Rock 99 (KWTO-FM), I and some of my co-workers noticed that some people requested songs by the hook rather than the actual title. This was because the title had nothing to do with the song itself.I have listed about twenty of the songs that was requested by the wrong title. The actual title of the song is in the parentheses. I should mention that some of these were not on the Rock 99 playlist while I worked there, but the mangled request always made me and my fellow DJs laugh.

1. "Stop, Children, What's That Sound" by Buffalo Springfield (For What It's Worth)
2. "This Ain't No Party, This Ain't No Disco" by Talking Heads (Life During War Time)
3. "Welcome Back My Friends To the Show That Never Ends" by Emerson, Lake & Palmer (Karn Evil #9)
4. "Go Ask Alice" by Jefferson Airplane (White Rabbit)
5. "I Need a Dirty Woman" by Pink Floyd (Young Lust)
6. "Teenage Wasteland" by the Who (Baba O'Riley)
7. "Ground Control To Major Tom" by David Bowie (Space Oddity)
8. "Don't Go" by Led Zeppelin (D'yer Mak'er)
9. "Hearts Afire" by Earth, Wind & Fire (That's the Way of the World)
10. "I Don't Give A Damn, I Ain't Going To Vietnam" by Country Joe & the Fish (I Feel Like I'm Fixing To Die Rag)
11. "I Love the Flower Girl" by the Cowsills (The Rain, The Park and Other Things)
12. "My Name Is Lucifer" by Black Sabbath (N.I.B)
13. "Clap Your Hands a Little Bit Louder" by Stevie Wonder (Fingertips Part 2)
14. "Mr. Jones" by Bob Dylan (Ballad of the Thin Man)
15. "There Is No Dying" by The Beatles (Tomorrow Never Knows)
16. "Take A Load Off Annie" by The Band (The Weight)
17. "I Don't Like Cricket" by 10CC (Dreadlock Holiday)
18. "There's Blood In the Streets" by the Doors (Peace Frog)
19. "See My Lonely Life" by Alice Cooper (The Ballad of Dwight Fry)
20. "Don't Ask Me What I Think of You" by Fleetwood Mac (Oh Well)

Honorable Mentions: "Little Robin Marie" by Mountain (Nantucket Sleighride), "Annie, Are You Okay?" Michael Jackson (Smooth Criminal) and "Here We Are, Entertain Us" by Nirvana (Smells Like Teen Spirit).

WHY I STOPPED TALKING ABOUT POLITICS AND CURRENT NEWS

Someone sent me an e-mail asking why I wasn't posting anything about politics. Andy Cline of Rhetorica once said I wrote some of the best satire of anyone. He was one of the few who liked it.
Not only were there many people in the Ozarks who didn't like it. I received many death threats, mainly from an idiot at Mansfield, Mo. The main problem was some people in the local media, including co-workers, who didn't like it. They felt I made fun of the wrong people or things. I've been told I've been blacklisted by at least one of the radio clusters here in Springfield (Clear Channel). The co-workers who didn't like my opinions went to management and tried to get me fired.
I should note that I'm not angry about the state of the country like I was when I first started the old blog, however, I am not happy with the state of the Ozarks. I may never be. I've hated the Ozarks since I was in elementary school.
I have figured out that nothing makes Ozarkers more upset than someone having fun, being entertained and not griping about politics. So that is what I am doing with my current blog. I'm entertaining people.  I'm much happier and I'm having fun. The response is much slower but has always been very positive. That is what I like.

WHY BEING A MONSTER KID IN THE OZARKS IS HELL

I'm proud to say I was a monster kid and I STILL AM. As a kid, I read Famous Monsters of Filmland magazine and the first record I owned was Monster Mash (It was a bad Peter Pan version, but the cover art was great) and one of my favorite toys was a Colorforms Castle Dracula playset. I wanted to say that because in the Ozarks, being a monster kid is considered a bad thing. In the Ozarks, a "good person" starts off being a St. Louis Cardinals fan at a young age, then grows up to become a Republican. I, of course, had to be different and start off a monster kid and grow up to be a Democrat. I'm a "bad person." Most Ozarkers believe that monster kids grow up to be serial killers.

Admittedly, things were actually better for monster kids when I was younger. Locally, KMTC (Channel 27) ran old horror films til dawn on Friday and Saturday night. Off and on they were hosted by a host named Dr. Dead (The actor who played Dr. Dead was later Sammy B. Goode on KSPR in the 80s). Also, at this time, CBS Late Movie featured many great horror movies.

In 1988, I had the pleasure of working on The Late Night Horror Show with Count Norlock at KSPR (that is a picture of one of the promotional materials above). Sadly, it only lasted one summer. I'm very proud of my work on this TV show, yet I have been in job interviews with local companies and they have insulted me over having this on my resume.

I tried for most of the 90s to try to interest the local TV stations in doing a horror movie show with myself as the host. I was treated with distain and verbal abuse to just the old excuse of "Ozarkers/advertisers don't like that sort of thing."

As far as over-the-air broadcasting goes, there has only been one attempt to do a show of this kind since Count Norlock. I can't remember what it was called, but it was hosted by Kevin and Liz from the Alice 95.5 Morning Show. There is a show on Mediacom public access, The New Uncle Gregory Horror Hour, that can also be viewed on the Internet at the show's website.

As I mentioned, the local media doesn't want to produce a horror movie show. All I can gather on the reason for this attitude is that some of the local ad agencies didn't like the Late Night Horror Show with Count Norlock and they are probably the one who have cultivated this animosity toward the Count Norlock show, people associated with it and horror movie shows in general (I want to note that one of the directors/producers on the Count Norlock show was Joe Bauer, who was responsible for the visual effects on Elf, Get Smart and Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer).

To make things even more frustrating, you can't even find a good horror film on local late night TV. All you can find on local TV late at night is this douchebag:

This guy is usually on every channel when I come home late from work. His name is Dean Graziosi and he is the star of the worst made infomercials ever made (Looks like he just points the camera at himself, turns it on and starts talking). He tells people they can make millions in real estate and he will show you how. He is really a scam artist. Why is he on local TV? Because he pays to be on TV.  The same with TriVita and its Nopela, a concoction from cactus berries that makes women cry on camera (At least that is what I got out of the infomercial). TriVita is referred to a Multi-Level Marketing by its sycophantic minions. This is a politically correct term for pyramid scheme. They pay to be on-air so they can rip desperate people off.

The Ozarks Correctness (as opposed to being politically correct which is based in logic-Ozarks Correctness isn't) mongers will tell you this is a good thing.  They will say horror films are evil and children shouldn't stay up late watching them on TV. Also, a redneck told us that he thought horror movie shows are stupid and we always take the opinion of rednecks over someone with a Bachelor of Science in electronic media. They will also tell you that real estate people are better than everyone else and we should worship them, because they make tons of money. They will also tell you that a pyramid scheme shouldn't be illegal because the only people, who think it is a scam are the people who don't work hard enough to be successful at it. They will also say business people shouldn't have to answer to the government or law enforcement. Also, the only people who should have access to local TV and radio are the people who can pay to be on-the-air.

And then, they will say that business people don't want to advertise on horror movies and that adults don't like horror movies. These the same reason the local radio stations won't play Halloween music like they do Christmas music (Since Halloween is over, I'm sure KGBX will start their usual wall-to-wall Christmas music puke-fest. I can make fun of this since I've been banned from working for the local Clear Channel/Bain Capital cluster).

I HATE ADULTS - I'M ASHAMED TO BE ONE!

Of course, an opinion, like this one, is why I'm considered the Super Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!


    

Springfield music legend Jim Wunderle dies after long illness

Springfield music legend Jim Wunderle dies after long illness