50 YEARS AGO TODAY WE LANDED ON THE MOON

THAT SEX EDUCATION TV SPECIAL FILMED IN MY HOMETOWN

I post many videos on this blog that I hope will evoke some memories of the past for readers. This one is a little more personal. This video, that I found on YouTube, is a personal trip back in time for me. This is The Body Human: Facts for Girls. Why would a TV special explaining puberty to girls be like a time machine to me? The reason is it was filmed in my hometown of Lebanon, Missouri.

In the late 70s and early 80s, CBS would run a health/science documentaries called The Body Human. Most of these were very technical and deep programs narrated by a Shakespearean actor named Alexander Scourby.

In 1980, CBS decided to make some episodes devoted to puberty. I'm not sure how our town or how the girls featured in the show were chosen, but it was a big deal.  Originally, it was announced that Ken Howard, star of The White Shadow, would be filming a "Facts for Boys" episode in Lebanon at the same time as Marlo Thomas was filming the "Facts for Girls." Turns out the "Facts for Boys" episode was filmed in Oregon and only the "Facts for Girls" was filmed in Lebanon.

Watching this video, for me, was a time machine back to my youth. I see what the Sonic, McDonalds and Wendys used to looked like in 1980. I see businesses that are no longer around like that convenience store on next to Sonic with the large neon sing that said "GAS,"  IGA and the old Star Theater (which was always behind on showing movies - Electric Horseman was already a year old). Also houses and buildings that are long gone, like that abandoned Candy Store across from the junior high.

I recognize many people I attended school with and many of them I still see when I'm in Lebanon, so I won't make jokes about anything they do in this video. Although I will say if those girls at the slumber party were so excited about boys, why didn't any of them look me up (I'm still available). It is jarring to think that we were so young.

This doesn't not have as much awkward stuff in it as the "Facts for Boys," which included a boy having way too much fun with his dog and a wiener roast (in a sex ed documentary for boys - think about it).

I question why the producers used two songs from the 50s in this, although the rest of it has Bee Gees and Donna Summer, which was contemporary at the time. Also the graphic used to explain menstruation is accompanied by some cool, electronic prog rock. I didn't know menstruation sounded like a Yes song (or King Crimson?)

Something I will say about this, while looking back: PHIL DONAHUE IS ONE OF THE LUCKIEST MEN ALIVE. This was filmed shortly after his marriage to Marlo Thomas. She is gorgeous in this, even while talking about puberty to girls. The one moment that has been burned in my memory, from the first time I saw this , was Marlo Thomas sitting in the grassy center of the track at Lebanon High School (which was fairly new at the time), wearing a nice, white athletic suit and telling the three girls, "I started my period today." Now that is what I call a great moment in television.

I should mention this aired locally on KOLR and was highly promoted. Unfortunatly, I didn't see it when it first aired. It aired at 3:30 p.m. and I didn't get home from school until 4 p.m. This was during the Dark Ages before VCRs or TiVo, so I didn't get to see it until it was shown to our P.E. class in 7th grade. Handy to show something made local for sex education.

Even if you all ready know the "Facts for Girls" enjoy looking at small town kids in 1980. The music, clothes and life.


      

   

PHONE YOUR NEIGHBORS AND WAKE THE KIDS: HOW DAVID LETTERMAN INFLUENCED ME

It has been a curse through out my life that the things I like are the things that are frowned upon by Ozarkers. I prefer heavy metal, punk,  urban and psychedelic rock over country music. I'm more interested in horror movies and comic books than hunting or sports (except golf). I also like comedy, whereas Ozarkers have absolutely no sense of humor. One of my favorite comedians has always been David Letterman and, according to several opinion polls taken by our local media outlets, Ozarkers hate David Letterman. My thought has always been, "Tough luck, you dumb rednecks!"

My first recollection of seeing David Letterman on TV was when he substituted for Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show. I remember he came out and said, "I was watching the monitor backstage and there was a commercial on for Preparation H. At the end of the commercial, the announcer said "Use only as directed." Like you would spread it on crackers."

One of the reasons why I liked David Letterman was he didn't take things too seriously. On his NBC shows, he wore a jacket, dress shirt and tie like other TV show host, except he wore blue jeans and sneakers with it. If a bit went wrong or a prop didn't work he would say, "Screw it!" and move on to something else. Even funnier was when a prop didn't get a laugh, he would throw it in a corner and break it. Dave was always quick to let you in on the fact that, especially in the early days, the segments were probably not going to be great television. In introducing those segments he would say, "Phone the neighbors and wake the kids! It is time for Stupid Pet Tricks!" and then midway through, he would look into the camera and say, "We are having more fun now than humans should be allowed."

Dave did strange things like drop light bulbs and bags of jello off of a building or let the audience give nicknames to former presidents like "Old Beanie Weenies" and "Old Scratch N Sniff." The first show gave aging monster kids a thrill with Larry Bud Mellman/Calvert DeForrest giving a introductory warning like Edward Van Sloan at the beginning of Frankenstein on the first show and ending the first show with a guy reciting dialog from a Bela Lugosi movie called Bowery After Midnight. He interrupted a live Today Show broadcast by yelling out a widow with a bullhorn that he was a major NBC executive and he wasn't wearing pants.
  
Like Ernie Kovacs before him, David Letterman knew that the medium of television itself could be part of the joke. In the early days of his show, NBC ran reruns of the show on Monday night (just like they did with The Tonight Show). At the time, I was a media major at Missouri State University (then it was Southwest Missouri State University) and most of my media classmates would watch these reruns because you never knew what was going to happen. One week they would be dubbed into French or Spanish or re-dubbed in a phony voice over like a Giallo film or Japanese monster movie. Once the voices were sped up. During one show Dave kept popping in and making comments like, "Don't worry folks, Bob Hope (the guest) will eventually talk about someone who is still living."

He used transitional wipes as windshield wipers to "wipe away the snow." Flashback sequences were introduced, as on many shows, with a wavy screen effect and Dave saying, "It is coming back to me like a flashback sequence we filmed yesterday." Of course, we can never forget The Late Night Monkey Cam, which was a camera mounted on the back of a roller skating chimpanzee. One of the trademarks of his show was the breaking glass sound effect as he threw a pencil or an index card through the window.

I was hoping to get to do some of the same kind of things David Letterman did, but unfortunately, as I stated above, I live in the most humorless state in the union. However, Letterman's influence is in this blog with every post. Something that, as a nation, we should be thankful for.

That is why I'm closing this post with a cover of an LP by a Scottish guy, who looks like David Letterman. Dave would want it that way.

 




 

CLASSIC CHRISTMAS COMMERCIALS: CBS Christmas Message (1966)

A SAD U.P.I BULLETIN FROM 50 YEARS AGO TODAY - 11-22-1963

I'll admit I swiped this from a discussion board for radio pros. A radio newsman saved this United Press International teletype wire bulletin from November 22, 1963. When I began working in radio at KSMU in Springfield, we still had the teletype machine with the bells that went off for a major national or world news story. The only time it happened when I was on duty was a chimpanzee was runamuck at a supermarket (I can't remember where) and Geraldo Rivera was hit in the face with a chair during a taping of his TV show.

When you report news, you often have to read many sad and disturbing stories. Sometimes they are hard to read because they touch you and your life. I've had to read news stories about the first girl I ever loved going to prison on federal charges. I have had to read stories about the death of colleagues, co-workers, friends and family members. However, I humbly don't think I could read or would ever want to have to read what Walter Cronkite is doing in this famous clip. No matter who the President is, this is not the kind of news I would want to deliver.