Sunday, June 30, 2013


Before I begin this post, I want to point you in the direction of two great post on other retro blogs. Plaid Stallions has a podcast about being a young superhero fan in the 70s. Also, Retrospace has a great post about The Incredible Hulk TV series of the late 70s/early 80s.

The Plaid Stallions podcast brought back some memories for me, both good and bad. One point they make is, for must of the early to mid 70s, live-action and animated superheroes in movies and TV was few and far between. Today, we have two or three superhero movies released each summer, but until the late 70s you didn't get any superhero movies. Even after the success of Superman the Movie and the Incredible Hulk TV show, there wasn't very much produced in that vain.

There was older stuff that you read about in an article in Starlog, TV Guide or some other magazine, but there wasn't home video and you were at the mercy of local TV or the networks. This was also at a time where cable systems stopped at the city limits.

I was (and still am) a hard core superhero fan, which has made me a pariah here in the Ozarks. From the time I was about six or seven, adults told me that "superheroes are not real." Other kids (also about six or seven) would tell me "superheroes are for babies," they told me they were dating, which explains why they married early and now are bitter adults post that "kids-today-are-stupid" crap on Facebook.

In many areas of the country, children came home from school to watch reruns of Batman, The Adventures of Superman, Tarzan, or possibly, the Japanese superhero TV show, Ultraman. We had none of that here in the Ozarks. The closest TV market for Batman in this area was Joplin (Okay, I realize some syndication contracts at that time were written so there were non-compete clauses - so maybe Joplin conflicted with Springfield).

If we got a superhero TV show or cartoon on local TV, it was for a brief time. When I was in the second grade, KYTV began running The Lone Ranger series everyday at 4 p.m. Not sure how long they ran it, but I watched it every afternoon.      

At some point, while I was in fourth grade, KOLR began showing the 60s Spider-Man cartoons, but his too was brief.

The only superhero that was on Springfield TV on a very regular basis was Underdog, which was a on-again-off-again afternoon staple on KOLR for many years. Occasionally, Young Sampson would turn up during the summer.

Also, channel 27 (Then known as KMTC) would air The Mighty Hercules at 6 a.m on Saturday and Sunday mornings.

While I mentioned The Lone Ranger (Calling him a superhero might be debatable), I skipped some of the sci-fi shows like Star Trek, Six Million Dollar Man and Buck Rogers, since I wanted to focus on the concept of the superhero ideal not fitting into the Ozarks' mentality.

Some would say, "Why complain about this? You saw them at some point. Get over it!" I wouldn't be as upset if there had been more variety in the mix, but you must understand that M*A*S*H has played on local TV in Springfield since it entered syndication in 1979 and Little House On the Prairie was shown several years in this market from the time it entered syndication. I should also note that these shows were still in production and airing on network television when they turned up in reruns on Springfield TV stations.  

One of the common things I heard growing up and even after I got involved in the media was that "older people don't like that stuff." Does everything in Springfield and the Ozarks have to be approved by old people? I assume old people like infomercials and those bad shows where a white judge yells at a young African-American guy about being "irresponsible." I'm sure in the future we can look forward to reruns of Duck Dynasty.

After growing up and working among people in the Springfield and Ozarks, I realized why so many in this area frown on superheroes. The superhero believes in helping the weak and oppressed for free. Consider the Lone Ranger's creed, which features the passages:
"That all men are created equal and that everyone has within himself the power to make this a better world." 
"That men should live by the rule of what is best for the greatest number."
Neither of these would be uttered by any of my classmates from Lebanon High School or any Springfield businessman. In a Lone Ranger episode entitled "The Law Lady," the Lone Ranger tells Tonto that Wyoming recently passed a law granting women the right to vote. Tonto says that he thinks that is a good idea. "It is a good idea, Tonto. Someday every woman in the Untied States will have that right," the Lone Ranger states. Of course, some local talk radio show host of the past said that only wealthy male land owners should be allowed to vote. I'm going to side with the Lone Ranger on this subject. I was shocked to see on You Tube some comments under some of the Lone Ranger episodes that people think the Lone Ranger killed and even lynched "troublemakers." If you go back to the origin story, the Lone Ranger tells Tonto he will not kill anyone. In several episodes, the Lone Ranger and Tonto stop lynchings, because everyone deserves a fair trial. I think these people commenting on You Tube (Mainly bigots comment on You Tube) are thinking of another group of masked riders...the Klu Klux Klan.

I guess Ozarkers would accept superheroes if they were more like business people and talk radio host. If someone was to create a superhero, who charged an exorbinant fee for his services, only helped white, wealthy, Republican heterosexuals and frequently lectured young people, while dressed in bib overalls, a John Deer cap and a Confederate flag for a cape, then Ozarkers would support the idea of a superhero.

I feel that my love of superheroes has made me the person I am today. I also have never been arrested or had a brush with the law of any kind. I believe in equality, fairness and helping others. Of course, that is why I'm considered the SUPER-VILLAIN of the Ozarks!!! mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! 

Tuesday, June 18, 2013


When I was in elementary school, my father answered an ad in the Lebanon newspaper from a Springfield based company for a small business opportunity that was supposed to provide "total financial independence." For the most part it was a cam and many people lost their shirt. However, while we never became rich, my father still in this business to a degree and continues to make supplemental income on the side. This was a plastic sign business. If you are in a business, school, church or office in Lebanon, Missouri, you have probably seen one of the engraved plastic signs made by my father and mother.

They also made magnetic plastic signs that were used on company and business vehicles, as well as store decoration. There were rubber molds which went on the vacuum form machine that were of clip art and various corporate logos. There was also a catalog, from a company called Art/Craft that you could order more molds from as you needed them. I plan to post some scans from the catalog old logos, clip art and some "humorous" signs. I included the car and truck rental signs because they were part of the page with the fast food and beverages logos. It is interesting to see which companies are still with us, which are gone and which one changed their logos.    

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I should point out that when this was made the Big Boy was also the mascot of Shoney's too.
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I understood the Taco Bell chihuahua, but the Taco Bell dinosaur is a stretch. I believe I'm in love with the Sandy's logo. Sandy's was bought out by Hardees in the 70s. Hardees should bring Sandy back for a commercial. She could say to a redneck guy, "Do you want to peak under my kilt or a Monster Burger?" and the dumb redneck will say "I want the burger." It is just an idea.

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Let me just say the clip art for Chinese restaurants is very politically incorrect.
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One thing that you will notice looking at these pages is Art/Craft's forte seemed to be cavemen. How many of you remember Budman?
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Not sure why any one thought a guy sitting on ice would entice anyone to buy ice. Nothing ruins the taste of a cold beverage like some guy's butt germs. Also scrubbing the floor with ice isn't a good idea either, but, hey, it was the 70s.

Sunday, June 16, 2013


Last year for Father's Day, I posted photos of a few of my favorite TV dads from the past. Later, I realized I forgot one of my favorites, Danny Williams of Make Room for Daddy. I have never been married and I don't have any kids, but I do identify with on one level. Danny, played by Danny Thomas, was a singer and performer, but nobody seemed to give him much credit or respect. The early episodes of the show was based loosely on Thomas' life as a touring nightclub performer and having to make the most of his time at home with his kids.

The show changed networks after a few years and it was revamped. Danny was a widower, but soon remarried a widow named Kathy, who had a little girl. He started performing regularly at a a popular nightclub, so he was at home more often. The running gag that makes me identify with Danny Williams comes into play. In these shows, the kids would need help with a school project or Kathy would need to find someone to entertain for the P.T.A fundraiser. Danny would act like he didn't want to help or would volunteer, only to be told "We knew you were busy so we got _______." You can fill in the blank with many well known personalities of the day. Bob Hope, Milton Berle and Jack Benny appeared more than once in this capacity.

Another scenario was to have a famous singer like Dean Martin or Frankie Lane. While everyone is bragging up Lane or Dino, Danny would casually mention that he was also a singer. Then somebody would say something like "Yeah, but he's good."

Danny's Uncle Tonoose comes to ask Danny to talk his Cousin Stephen (Tony Bennett) out of becoming a singer, because Stephen's parents "don't want him to end up like you." (BTW, I think Borat is the illegitimate son of Uncle Tonoose).

When Danny tries to give advice to the lady directing the kids in the school play, she tells him that all he does is "tell jokes in a saloon." An investigator for A.F.S says the Williams can't host an exchange student because they aren't "representative of a normal American family" since Danny is an entertainer.

In one of the more famous episodes, Danny gets mad after being stopped in a small town called Mayberry for running a stop sign (Danny says there wasn't an intersection, just a stop sign). He tells the sheriff, played by Andy Griffith (Who else?), that he will be sorry for giving him a ticket, because his driver's licence will prove that he is "somebody." Sheriff Taylor exclaims, "You know, I knew that the minute I laid eyes on you. Yes sir, I've never seen a car yet that wasn't being driven by somebody."

This pattern was continued in the short lived 70s sequel Make Room For Granddaddy. The bossy manager for a conseeded singer (Diana Ross) ask "What does he do?"

Of course, what made these gags funny were Danny's blustery meltdowns in reaction. He would yell and wave his arms before Kathy would calm him down.

Why I identify with the Danny Williams is that he was portrayed as the sort of a Rodney Dangerfield of show biz. He is in the shadow of other well-known performers or can be upstaged by a teenager (usually played by young pop stars like Paul Anka, Bobby Rydell or Brenda Lee). Other times, people don't realize he is an entertainer or don't think he has a job.

As a radio personality, I identify with people not recognizing me. They usually say "I thought your voice sounded familiar" after you tell them your name. 

I have also had the problem of people in the industry, who tend to put you down to make themselves look good. I should point out that these people, usually, didn't go to college or a broadcasting school, but, at some point, decided that they could do a better job than you, your veteran co-workers, the local TV news people or most of the national media people. These people seem to think they are more important than anyone else in the building. I actually told a person like this that he needed to have more respect for experienced professionals like myself and my co-workers. He threatened to sue me.

You also get disrespect from people, who have no reason to hate you other than they subscribe to a politaical philosophy that hates entertainment and media people. There is nothing that could lead me to a Danny Williams-style meltdown than being disrespected by the manager of a Kum & Go store that the soda fountain never works and the floor is dirty or some jerk from Mansfield that post links to Newsmax on Missouri Radio Message Board.

Danny Williams was not by no means the perfect dad. He had a bad temper, which lead to loud tirades, he had an inflated ego and he had a habit of doing downright goofy things, like trying on his wife's girdle. What of course made Danny Williams a memorable TV father was the fact that Danny Thomas based the character on himself. His daughter, Marlo, has said that he even worked things that happened at their home into the show.

For someone of my age, who only knew of Danny Thomas as the pitchman for Reader's Digest sweepstakes, coffee makers and the spokesman for St. Judes Children's Research Hospital, watching these shows on DVD (I recommend the episodes made between 1957 and 1961), you also understand the show and Thomas' popularity.

As Danny Williams would say, "Holy Toledo!"

Tuesday, June 11, 2013


I haven't unleashed one of these since February. So here is another group of guilty pleasures that I am not ashamed to have in my Ipod. Some would laugh at me and some would scorn me, but I just crank these up and sing along.

The Brooklyn Bridge - "Worst That Could Happen"
Del Shannon - "Kelly"
Gary Glitter - "I'm the Leader of the Gang (I Am)"
Lancelot Link and the Evolution Revolution - "Sha-La Love You" (Chimps in clothing make great music)
Tal Bachman - "She's So High"
The Chakachas "Jungle Fever" (Early 70s dance/orgasm number made famous in Boogie Nights)
Color Me Badd - "I Wanna Sex You Up"
Golden Earring - "Dong Dong Di-Ki-Di-Gi-Dong" (They gave us vaguely risque bubblegum/sunshine pop before "Radar Love" & "Twilight Zone")
Jon & Robin and The In Crowd - "Do It Again, Just a Little Bit Slower" (Speaking of  vaguely risque bubblegum/sunshine pop)
Jane Child - "Don't Want To Fall In Love"
Mink Deville - "Spanish Stroll"
Dan Fogleberg - "Part of the Plan"
Steve Harley & Cockney Rebel - "Make Me Smile (Come Up and See Me)"
The Jacksons - "Shake You Body (Down To the Ground)"
Desi, Dino & Billy - "I'm a Fool"
The Smithereens - "Behind the Wall of Sleep"
Serge Gainsbourg & Jane Birkin - "Je T'Aime...Mon Non Plus" (If you want to cause a commotion in a public place, play this orgasmic French on the jukebox)
Chubby Checker - "The Class" (His first hit and part of the strange genre of "imitation" songs)
Barry Manilow - "Copacabana"
Pilot - "Magic"
The Critters - "Mr. Diengly Sad"
Chris Rea - "Fool (If You Think It's Over)"
Flock of Seagulls - "I Ran (So Far Away)"
Billy Joel - "Say Goodbye to Hollywood" (The original studio version from the Turnstiles LP)
Bill Parsons - "The All American Boy" (The record company made a mistake. The singer is really Bobby Bare)
Glass Tiger - "Don't Forget Me (When I'm Gone)"
Blue Swede - "Hooked On a Feeling"
Firehouse - "Don't Treat Me Bad"
Heinz - "Just Like Eddie" (Cochran, that is.)

Sunday, June 9, 2013


It has been rare in the world of art for a painting to become some famous that it spawns parodies. DaVinci's Mona Lisa and Munch's The Scream have been parodied, but the one that seems to lend itself to parodies is Grant Wood's American Gothic. Maybe it is the subject matter of the farmer and his spinster daughter (Not his wife as many believe) that people find funny, which was what Wood wanted in the first place. This brings to mind the old question of "Can You Parody a Parody?" I wonder if possibly American Gothic is the most parodied and referenced painting in history.

I began thinking about this thanks to Pam at Go Retro. She posted this ad for Nabisco, on her Facebook sight, that featured an American Gothic couple. So, I decided to do a little research into this. If found some more than I needed, but two of my favorites are available for use. The Music Man number "Iowa Stubborn" and The Rocky Horror Picture Show number "Dammit Janet" feature chorus members dressed as the American Gothic duo. Unfortunately, these are unavailable on You Tube. However, You Tube does have the 60s commercials for General Mills Country Corn Flakes, both in black and white and color, as well as the opening to Green Acres. Also check out his great skit from Saturday Night Live about the painting of American Gothic.

Not long after American Gothic was first presented to the public, photographer Gordon Parks created this photo version. Here are a few others:

An 80s slasher movie staring two Hollywood legends.

This a ad for Viagra. Click to enlarge (Pardon the pun) for the full effect.

The Simple Life ad reminded me of something. On the original Desdinova blog, I made jokes about how I was going to marry Paris Hilton. Apparently this would upset a former radio personality, here in Springfield, that was one of my favorite targets.  According to a person, who worked in the same building, he especially got upset when I said that he should go to jail instead of Paris Hilton. Rumor has it he cried. Really? A grown man cried over THAT! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Like I said, I only touch the surface of this subject. If you Google "American Gothic parodies," you find whole blog dedicated to the subject.  

Sunday, June 2, 2013


New York Times Obit for Jean Stapleton

Here is a picture of Jean Stapleton (top right) with Marion Ross (top left), Johnathan Frid (bottom center) and James McArthur (bottom right) from a revival of Arsenic and Old Lace.

Saturday, June 1, 2013


A song can bring back memories, both good and bad. Sometimes they are stupid. One that brings both bad and stupid memories for me is "Walking In Memphis" by Marc Cohn. I didn't like the song from the minute I heard it on the radio, but started hating it even more because I associate it with my short lived stint as a waterless cookware salesman. Let's set the time machine for May 1991.

My parents always wanted me to get a summer job when I was in college,but I have always had a hard time finding a good job. The problem with being in a college town (contrary to what people say Springfield Missouri is a college town) The News Leader is filled job notices for crappy direct sales jobs in the spring. They are usually a mass recruiting for commission only sales of expensive stuff nobody would cleaning products or waterless cookware.

The people recruiting and training for the waterless cookware company were from Texas. This was the start of my dislike for Texans, with the exception of Joe Bob Briggs, Mike Nesmith, Roky Erickson, Stephen Stills, Morgan Fairchild, the Dixie Chicks, ZZ Top and the late Molly Ivins. They are just really arrogant, obnoxious, pushy, hot-headed people, who believe that everyone should do things their way, nobody should tell them what to do and you are worthless if you don't want to be like a Texan. They believe that nobody in the other states measure up to their greatness and they really shouldn't have to be a part of the United States of America. This is why they keep wanting to secede from the Union. "So help me Mitch Miller!" (Sorry, I had to throw a Stan Freburg reference here).

The other problem with these people were they were sales types. They worshipped at the all mighty alter of Zig Zigglar, who they claimed had worked for their company (Big whoop). They believed selling this stuff was more important than anything in the world. Forget your family, your girlfriend, even your college education and your future career, you are now a member of the cult of waterless cookware. You should even stop to eat, rest or go to the bathroom until you have made a sale. They actually told that I would be better off dropping out of college and making waterless cookware sales my career.

This cookware and fancy china they wanted you to sell was $800 in 1991. Gosh knows what it would cost now in 2013. That made me realize I was not going to be able to make any money, because nobody was going to pay $800 for this stuff.

The Texans in charge of the Springfield office were a guy and his fiance (I don't remember their names and that is good because they might sue me if they read this). They trained us in how to make sales calls and give these demonstrations on how to use the cookware. We were given literature about the company and these two were in just about every photograph.

This is where the song "Walking in Memphis" comes in. This Texas cookware guy was constantly singing that song, when he wasn't lecturing me on how I needed to have more "zeal" for selling and I should accept Zig Zigglar as my personal Savior. His fiance was even more obnoxious than him, as a matter of fact, she was downright hateful (I will be politically correct here and not use that word that begins with a "B").  She looked like Liza Minnelli, only with out the giggly, bubbly personality and more make-up. Among the things I didn't like about her was she didn't like The Simpsons and she said Imo's Pizza was "the worst pizza she ever had."

They trained us to do these demonstration of how the cookware worked. They told us the easiest thing to cook was carrots. For some reason the Texas had some sort of stupid rule that you were not supposed to peel the carrots. They were obsessive about this carrot rule. Everyone in the group had to give a practice demonstration in front of the other recruits. I decided that I was not going to tell people to not peel their carrots. My mother peels carrots before she cooked them, my Grandma Jones peeled carrots before she cooked them and my sister, Villanova, peels carrots before she cooks them, and since I'm a laid back, "do-your-own-thing" liberal, I was going to tell people that it was okay to peel your carrots. I was doing my demonstration and I got to the carrot preparation. "Next you wash and peel your carrots," I explained to the group, like I was an infomercial doofus. Those words had barely left my mouth when the Cookware Sales Queen of the Lone Star State snaps, "You are not supposed to peel the carrots." I tried to be diplomatic and said, "You can leave the peel on, if you like, or peel them if you want." She went ballistic, "I SAID YOU DON'T TELL THEM TO PEEL THE CARROTS! YOU ARE TO LEAVE THE PEEL ON THE CARROTS! DO YOU NOT KNOW HOW TO FOLLOW DIRECTIONS?"

In review, if anyone ask you what Texans are passionate about, you can say they are anti-gun control, anti-gay marriage, anti-evolution and anti-peeling carrots. Here I should mention that in training they wanted us to say that eating food cooked in waterless cookware was "better for you than fast food." However, if the person you were giving the demonstration to said it was easier for them to eat fast food than pay $800 for waterless cookware, then you were supposed to tell them that fast food companies give much of their revenue to "an undesirable group" such as pornographers, atheist organizations, gay rights organizations or devil worshiping churches.

"I don't think that is ethical?" I questioned them on this practice.

"WHY DO YOU NOT WANT TO DO WHAT WE TELL YOU?" The Cookware Sales Queen of the Lone Star State yelled at me. "We have won awards as top sales people with the company. We know what we are doing!" She was so mad her thick layer of make-up was starting to crack.

Next day, I had to go out with the Cookware Sales King of the Lone Star State, who would burst into singing "Walking in Memphis" every five minutes. He had the names of girls and newlywed couples he wanted to try to sell waterless cookware on index cards.

"We have a person at the home office that can access membership list of sororities and wedding gift registries," this guy said between random lyrics of "Walking In Memphis." Thinking about it this now, this seems very unsafe and an invasion of privacy. Hopefully there are now laws against obtaining this information because this would be a treasure to sexual predators. 

I casually mentioned that I was not interested in talking to a girl named Andrea, who I had been in a bad relationship with, especially since she said she hated me and I told her I would never speak to her again (Although, I did look up her name on Facebook - Her profile listed Sarah Palin as a person she admired and she belonged to group "Women For Todd Akin" - I'm glad now that she hated me). The Texan kind of ignored that comment. I also mentioned that I probably would not get any sales from the girls i went to school with in Lebanon, because they hated my guts.

Not the real Eunice Moneymaker but a reasonable facsimile

I then saw a card that made my blood run cold with disgust and fear: "Jack & Eunice Strapp - From Lebanon now living in Springfield." Those who have read the old blog and this one recognize that "Eunice" is the name of the girl I liked in junior high and high school, Eunice Moneymaker. At that time, she had just gotten married to muscle-bound athlete named Jack Strapp, Lebanon High School Class of 85. This guy lived on a diet of steroids and was know to beat people to a bloody pulp if they even spoke to Eunice. I knew that I was not going to their house, because Jack Strapp would beat me to death and leave the remains at the curb in a Hefty bag. Well, it was the Cookware Sales King of the Lone Star State's turn to go ballistic on me this time.

"YOU WILL NEVER MAKE A SALE IF YOU DON'T LEARN TO TALK TO PEOPLE! FOR A PERSON WHO IS STUDYING COMMUNICATIONS AND MEDIA, YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH TALKING TO PEOPLE! I AM GOING TO MAKE YOU GO TO THEIR APARTMENT TODAY AND GIVE THEM A DEMONSTRATION!" The problem wasn't that I didn't want to talk to people, I just didn't like confrontation or death.I also didn't want my death certificate to read "Beaten to death while pretending to cook unpeeled carrots."
We went to four of the addresses on the cards. Two of the girls were not at home and at the other two, we talked to roommates who really wouldn't tell us when the girl  One of the names on the index cards was a girl that I graduated with at Lebanon High School. I mentioned I knew this girl and Tex decided he had to "make sure" I made a sales call on her. She also wasn't at home and her roommate, a friend of Eunice's, wouldn't let us in. She kept the door chained, but that didn't stop Tex from talking.

"We will check back later. I want to make sure Mr. Desdinova discusses our product and gives you and your roommate a demonstration. He seems to be intimidated by women." Great! Not only can he not figure out that people don't want to hear about the virtues of waterless cookware, he has to humiliate me in front of girl's from Lebanon, who didn't have a high opinion of me in the first place."While I'm talking to you, let me ask you if you know this couple and is this their correct address?"

"Yes, that is where Eunice lives," She answered then she gave me a dirty look.

"Good, I'm going to make sure Mr. Desdinova give Mrs. Strapp a demonstration of our product. Mr. Desdinova is trying to get out of this by claiming  that her husband will beat him up."

"He probably will," she said.

"Most people are really happy to have us in their homes and giving a demonstration of our product," he explained with unabashed enthusiasm before uttering an even stupider statement. "He also has nothing to worry about, I carry a gun for my protection."

We left and drove across town to the apartment where Eunice and her husband lived. I lucked out because they were not at home. No beatings and no shootings. I wonder if  it was just luck or Eunice's friend called and said, "Dedinova is on his way over to your house with an obnoxious guy from Texas that looks like a cross between Mike Stivic (Top) and Rollie Fingers (Bottom)...they are going to try to sell you waterless cookware. Hide and don't answer the door."

The Cookware Sales King of the Lone Star State at the end of the day decided that I needed a "goal" and an "ultimatum." He gave me a stack of the index cards and said I had to talk to at least five girls the next day alone or he would "chaperon" me the next week on calls. I agreed to it, because I noticed that many of the names were girls I had class with at SMSU. With the exception of Andrea, I got along good with girls I had class with at SMSU, who were from KC and St. Louis, I just didn't get along very good with girls from Lebanon (Andrea was not from Lebanon but another small town. I can't remember which one - I think they have a fair there).

I noticed that the name of one of the index cards was a girl named Annette. I sat next to Annette in film history class and made her giggle uncontrollably during Ingmar Bergman's Autumn Sonata by simply saying "This movie blows." She was a beautiful girl with long, jet black hair, blue eyes and a nice tan. Annette was my first sales call. She invited me into her apartment and I told her what I was doing. She said that since she was graduating that week, she would be moving back home to St. Louis, so she wouldn't be available for demonstration. I explained my situation and asked her about some of the other names on the index cards. Annette must have felt sorry for me having this crummy sales job, because she was very courteous, helpful and hospitable. When I told her about the training session, she said, "She yelled at you for pealing carrots? What a bitch!"

From Annette's apartment, I drove back to campus and went to the Alpha Sig house to talk to Julie, a cute, bubbly blond. She was also graduating and going back to St. Louis. When I also told her about the job and what had went on in the training session, she too said, "She yelled at you for pealing carrots? What a bitch!"  

From the Alpha Sig house, I went to Sigma Kappa house and talked to Johnna and Chantel. Chantel was headed home to KC after graduation and Johnna was leaving for the summer but said I might contact her in the fall. Both Johnna and Chantel said, "She yelled at you for pealing carrots? What a bitch!" Chantel wondered if they had medication for behavior like that or if society would be better off if Tex's fiance was put under psychiatric care for outburst like that.

My next stop was the Tri-Sig house, where I talked to Sandy and Kerri, two blond girls who looked like they should have been sisters. They were leaving for the summer but said for me to come back in the fall if I was still working for that company and give a demonstration to all of the Tri-Sigs. They said that it would be fine with them if I wanted to peal the carrots.

I also went to the apartment of an attractive, but rather tall blond named Jill, that I had some classes with. She was leaving Springfield for her home in KC, but would be back in July. She was also appalled by the fact that I got yelled at for wanting to peal the carrots. Jill gave me some encouragement. "I'm sure something better will come along for you. You are a good person and very smart." I gave her a hug and left with a smile on my face. Not sure if the Texans would have approved of my hugging someone who didn't buy any waterless cookware, but then again Tex was ready to shoot Jack Strapp.

Now I could go to the office and show the Texans that had talked to SEVEN leads that day. Naturally, all my work wasn't good enough for the Texans. "You should have gotten these girls to give you their addresses in St. Louis and Kansas City," Mr. Waterless Cookware of Texas complained. Dejected and demoralized after I had, like Napoleon Dynamite's brother, spent a wonderfully fun day of "talking to fabulous babes."

When I arrived at my apartment, there was a message on my answering machine from one of the professors in the media department. I returned the call the next morning to find out that I could use my independent study credits for an internship in the news department at KOLR-TV. No pay, just credit and experience. The choice had to be made between working in a TV newsroom with broadcasting professionals or being forced to try and sell expensive waterless cookware by crazy Texans. I chose the KOLR internship.

I took the sample cases filled with cookware, silverware and dishes back to the office on South Campbell. Tex wasn't too upset and seemed to be happy for me, but his fiance gave me a tongue lashing.

"How could you make such a stupid mistake? You are throwing your life away. You will never amount to anything if you don't continue with us. Don't you know that nobody likes the news media people!" Like people just love door-to-door-cookware-sales people.

I interned at KOLR-TV over two semesters as part of the independent study program. There I got to meet and work with Tom Trtan, Ted Keller, Steve LaRocco, Jill Jensen, Lisa Forgey, Dan Lucy, Scott Opher, among others (in case I forgot someone). I also had a wonderful supervisor and teacher, Lissa Page-Wood, who was always very encouraging to me. At KOLR, I learned hands on about news gathering and TV production. While I haven't had a job in TV, I use much of what i learned from the news team putting together radio news.

You notice I haven't given you the name of the waterless cookware company or the couple from Texas. It isn't because I didn't want to embarrass them, because I would love to do that. It is because I can't remember the name of the company or either the guy or the gal from Texas names. The girls names I remember. As a matter of fact, I've tried to find them on Facebook, sadly to no avail.

This ugly episode had kind of blocked it from my mind until I started hearing "Walking In Memphis" again on local radio, causing me to have back flashbacks to the strange moment in my college career. This blog post was supposed to be quick and easy for me, but the memories came flooding back like a backed up septec tank. It took me a week to write this and get it posted. Retro music, oldies or whatever you call it can trigger memories, both good and bad and stupid.       

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