Since I was a child, there has been one TV show that I have passionately disliked. It is the Waltons. Recently this show has reared its ugly head again on the Hallmark Channel (Does the Hallmark Channel have ANY GOOD SHOWS ON?) . I recently caught both my sister and nephew watching the reruns of The Waltons one afternoon. The bad part they were enjoying them! I suffered through them, but realized that even now, at age 41, I cannot stomach this show. UGH!
Here are some of the factors that make the Waltons more enjoyable for me:
- The female cast members are not sexy. They also don't dress sexy.
- The dialog is rather dry. No double entendres, sexual induiondo or even snappy comebacks. It is just lame.
- I hate people in overalls. Nuff said!
- There was no cool vehicle. No Batmobile, Black Beauty, General Lee, KITT, UNCLE car, TARDIS or Woody(from the Mod Squad). All the Waltons had was that old truck.
- Would it have killed them to have had a funny or killer robot in the show? How about a gay character? Or better yet a gay robot? How about "very special episode" where a killer robot ripped off Jim Bob's arm?
- This show was in desperate need of a guest appearance by Morgan Fairchild.
- The music on the show is dull. At the sake of being anachonistic, they could have put in some heavy metal, prog rock or funk in the background.
- The thing that really bothers me is how everyone on Waltons Mountain seems to think it is so great that John Boy likes to write. I have been writing stories since I was eight years old and nobody in Lebanon, MO every gave me any encouragement.
This same thing goes on today with some of the stupider people here in the Ozarks. They get mad at me when I say I prefer MTV to Fox News or would rather spend an evening with Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian than Sarah Palin and Sarah Steelman.
The funny thing is The Waltons creator, Earl Hamner Jr., wrote several episodes of one of my favorite shows, the Twilight Zone.
Best way to end this is with Mad Magazines obituary for John Boy. It would have made a fitting end to The Waltons, unfortunatly they didn't use it in the final episode.