Showing posts with label Sex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sex. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 26, 2018

I JUST REMEMBERED


I hadn't posted a photo of hot babes in Santa's Little Helper dresses this Christmas. That always upsets Ozarkers.

Monday, July 4, 2016

R. I. P NOEL NEIL




This is a great clip of Noel Neil as Lois. You can kill Jimmy Olsen, but making "goo-goo eyes" at Lois Lane will make Superman very angry.

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

FOUR YEARS LATER I LAUNCH MY PODCAST

Today marked four years, since I changed to the retro blog format. While I miss some of the satirical commentary and mischief I created on the old blog, this retro blog has been more fun and less hassle in my personal and professional life.

One thing I have always wanted to try was a podcast, like the ones on other retro blogs like Retrospace.

It's a mix of retro hits you don't hear on commercial radio and some comedy bits and commercials from the past.

As a nod to the original Desdinova - Super Villain of the Ozarks blog, I introduce it as a megalomaniac, mad scientist/super-villain persona that I used when writing post on the old blog. It will be interesting to see how many of the KSGF crowd reports me to Springfield PD or the FCC.

This is just a test. Not sure how many of these I will do.

ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK:

Thursday, April 9, 2015

Female Comic Strip Character Movie No. 7: BARBARELLA



This is one of the post for this series that I have kind of dreaded, partly because 1) I've had to find time to watch this on a VHS tape I bought years ago 2) I know I'm going to get hate mail from trolls. IF YOUR COMMENT IS NOT ABOUT COMPARING THIS FILM TO THE ORIGINAL COMIC STRIP, IT WILL NOT GET POSTED.



Barbarella is the 1968 adaption of French artist Jean-Claude Forest's (above) famous, erotic, science fiction, comic strip about a sexually liberated female ingenue, who travels the galaxy trying to save the world. The comic strip appeared in 1962. It was later translated into several languages due to the controversy surrounding it. The English translation were sold through Playboy magazine. In all, Forest drew four graphic novels from 1962 to 1982.


Watching this film and looking at the various examples online, I find this film is the opposite of the problem I had with the Friday Foster movie adaption. Friday Foster was a family friendly comic strip turned into a sexually explicit, black exploitation film. The problem with Barbarella is there isn't enough sex to be a competent adaptation of the comic. Jean Claude Forest's original Barbarella strip it is loaded with bare breasts and hairy vaginas. Let's be honest, Jean Claude Forest draws a moist vagina like nobody can. This movie is almost family-friendly. In 1977, after Star Wars was released, this movie was re-released again in an edited PG version. The video versions have always been the original unedited film. Watching it now, I don't know what was edited out to make it PG, because this is almost a G rated film at times.


One thing that I should point out is that this movie over years has become a cult film.  It has its detractors, for the wrong reason and often by people who never watched it. It should be noted that even the stars hated this movie. Jane Fonda hates it, Marcel Marceau hated it, John Philip-Law hated it, David Hemings hated it. Basically everybody that was involved with it hated it later.


If you ever look at the post on Flashbak by Yeoman Lowbrow or Gilligan Newton-John on Retrospace, you'll notice he's also pointed out that the directors have a unique way of covering up the nudity and that's true. In the opening sequence, they use the opening credits and later on a cluster of rayguns. There isn't enough nudity in this movie!

Barbarella is attacked by children with snowball and dolls with razor teeth
Barbarella is put in a cage with mean birds
Pygar saves Barbarella and the Black Queen

The plot line in the film pretty well adhered to the comic strip's storyline in the three pages above. The ending is exactly the way the original comic strip ended. There was an effort to try to duplicate Jean-Claude Forest artwork (He was an adviser) and the world he created. The movie is very good eye candy. However, when you suck the sex out of this it really just becomes another science fiction movie. This film comes off as a cross between the TV shows Batman and Star Trek. Producer Dino DeLaurentis later made the Flash Gordon movie in 1980 and that pretty well copies Alex Raymond's artwork. Forest's style is unusual, so that may have been part of the problem. However, they should get a B for effort. The film has a sunshine pop-psychedelic soundtrack by Bob Crewe, which is augmented by the water guitar work of Vincent Bell.


Something I want to point out is the scientist Barbarella is sent to look for is called Durand Durand with a D at the end of his name. The rock band Duran Duran kind of misunderstood the name and named themselves after it. In the comic strip, he is a bearded man with an eye missing.

Barbarella and Diktor

One thing that's left out from the original story is Barbarella has an affair with a robot named Diktor, who has a drill bit for a penis.

Overall, it's not really that great of an adaption of a comic strip, however, adapting this comic strip to film would be very difficult. It would be an NC 17 or an X rated movie. The rating system wasn't in effect yet when this was made, so you wouldn't even have an X rating. If it had been VERY FAITHFUL to the original Barbarella comics and Jean-Claude Forest, it wouldn't even get made.

Sunday, October 5, 2014

TERROR CASTLE AT THE STUDIO


In the good old days of the old Desdinova blog, I used to post the ads for The Studio that appeared in the Springfield Daily News. The Studio was Springfield's adult movie theater. According to this ad, tit was located at 3833 S. Campbell. Here is an ad for a "horror" film called TERROR CASTLE. The actual title is TERROR AT ORGY CASTLE. You can find a short clip of this film on You Tube, and the whole thing is available on DVD from Something Weird video.

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

A NEW POST ON THE OLD BLOG

Who is this guy? Check out the new post on the old blog site and find out. See what the guy above has to do with this guy from Animal House.


Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Female Comic Strip Character Movie No. 1: KISS ME KILL ME a.k.a BABA YAGA (VALENTINA)

Crepax's Valentina and actress De Funes
This is the movie that instigated this series of post. I had mentioned in a previous post the Valentina comic strip by Guido Crepax. I found this movie in a Mill Creek movie set, thinking it may have been a giallo film.

The comic book version

Most American comic strip/comic book adaptations are aimed at kids. The average child wouldn't be interested in this because Valentina is an Italian comic character. That is good, because this is not a children's movie. This is an adult foreign film. While a very good adaptation of Crepax's artwork and story, the best way to describe it to the average person is a kinky, psychedelic mind-f**k (Pardon my French).

Isabelle De Funes as Valentina

Valentina is played by Isabelle De Funes. She is a cute, hip, Marxist, magazine photographer, who is almost killed trying to save a cute, little dog from being smashed by an on-coming Rolls Royce. The driver is a mysterious woman called Baba Yaga, played by 60s American sex symbol Carroll Baker. As you can see from the picture of the comic, Baker looks nothing like the character in the comic book. Then again, do you want to see someone who looks like Crepax's Baba Yaga naked?

Carroll Baker is Baba Yaga

Baba Yaga shows up the next day at Valentina's studio, fondles her (wait for it) camera and invites her to home. After Baba Yaga leaves, the model Valentina is working with tells her that she thinks Baba Yaga is a lesbian. At one point, Baba Yaga steals the tab from Valentina's garter belt lick and suck on it like a Charms Blow Pop.

Can you get one of these at Toys R Us?

Valentina goes to Baba Yaga's spooky old house with a hole in the floor that Baba Yaga says is the entrance to Hell. Baba Yaga gives Valentina a doll, named Annette, that looks like an American Girl doll dressed like a dominatrix. Valentina begins having nightmares about being naked in front of Nazis. She also dreams that Annette turns into a real dominatrix and begins whipping her.

She tells her film director boyfriend, played by George Eastman, that she believes Baba Yaga is a witch. He doesn't believe it until the people Valentina photographs die suddenly. I'll stop here rather than spoil the ending.

Louise Brooks - Valentina's role model

Some interesting trivia about the Valentina strip. Guido Crepax modeled Valentina after an American silent movie actress named Louise Brooks. Her autobiography makes Valentina's exploits look like a Peanuts special. And speaking of Charlie Brown and the gang...

Good Grief! Valentina is naked again

Valentina first appeared in an Italian comic book called Linus that featured Peanuts reprints. She was the Lois Lane to a Superman-like character named Neutron. Eventually, Crepax dropped Neutron and Valentina became the focus of the comic strip.

The theme song is an instrumental entitled "Open Spaces" by Piero Umiliani, the man responsible for the song "Mah-Nah-Nah-Nah," which was made famous in this country by Jim Henson's Muppets.

The story was remade for a TV version of Valentina in the 90s, but it is not as good. It plays too much like a soap opera.

If you like Italian horror films and comic strip history, check this out. Granted, it is not for everyone, but it is interesting.

 

Sunday, October 6, 2013

THE STORY BEHIND TERROR TALES AND THE OTHER EEIRE PUBLICATIONS

February 1973

As I mentioned in my last post, I only recently became aware of these wacky black and white horror comics magazines of the late 60s and 70s. Some of the artwork I was familiar with because it had been used on some DVDs and LP/CD covers. I recently purchased these at a comic book convention here in Springfield, Missouri.

Inside are black and white reprints of pre-code horror comics. The stories seem to date anywhere between the 30s to the 50s, with about one new story per magazine. Besides being in black and white, the publisher has had artist redraw some of the panels to add more blood or a touch of female nudity.

However, what makes these memorable are the unorthodox cover art. They are a monster kids wildest dreams mixed with absurdity and insanity. There seem to be a pattern to the covers. There are usually at least two monsters featured. They are usually fighting each other, with heads being lopped off, eyeballs gouged out and hearts staked. They all have fangs and pointed ears, even skeletons. In the middle of all of this mayhem is a buxom female victim in a torn dress. There is also an abundance of blood, drool, (possibly) vomit, and slime. I'm surprised they didn't have the female victim wetting or soiling her pants.

While the Warren horror comic magazines of the day featured well drawn covers, these have a cartoonish feel. The color is garish. Like those magazines, you will occasionally see a famous face in the covers. Herman Munster (He has fangs, pointed ears and robot parts falling out of his dismembered body), Barnabas Collins, Jack Palance, Max Shreck (from Nosferatu), Oddbod from Carry on Screaming and the Mad Scientist from Monsters Crash The Pajama Party all pop up on various covers. Also cover were sometimes reused for a magazine of another title.

These were created to cash in on the success of Warren's Creepy and Eerie magazines. The publishing company was even named Eerie Publications. The mad mind behind it was a comic book artist named Myron Fass, best known for the mid-60s Captain Marvel who would yell "Split!" and then break into pieces.

None of the titles seemed to be published on a regular basis. Besides Terror Tales, there was Horror Tales, Tales from The Tomb, Tales of Voodoo, Witch's Tales and Weird.

These have a growing cult following among collectors. I might consider buying a few at a reasonable price, although I would prefer to save my money for Creepy and Eerie.

Sunday, September 1, 2013

PANCAKES PLAYLIST 3 - THE QUERKY TWERKY EDITION

All these photos of Miley Cyrus on the MTV VMA awards got me to thinking about "pancakes" (The Retrospace kind). I quickly compiled another edition in honor of Miley and her twerk.

"Here She Comes Now" - Velvet Underground
"Black Betty" - Ram Jam
"Head" - Prince
"Squeeze Box" - The Who
"Get It" - Hank Ballard & the Midniters
"Tush" - ZZ Top
"Let's Get It On" - Marvin Gaye
"Romeo" Mr. Big (The UK band)
"Gloria" - Them
"I Like What You Are Doing To Me" - Young & Company
"Sex As A Weapon" - Pat Benetar
"(I Wanna) Testify" - The Parliments
"Young Lust" - Pink Floyd
"Hold Me" - P.J. Proby
"What Is Love" - The Playmates
"Singapore Silk Torpedo" - Pretty Things
"Nasty" - Janet Jackson"Original Sin" - INXS
"Get Up (Sex Machine)" - James Brown
"I Kissed a Girl" - Katy Perry
"Love Blonde" - Kim Wilde
"(Shake Shake Shake) Shake Your Booty" - K.C. & The Sunshine Band
"Passion" - Rod Stewart
"Brown Sugar" - Rolling Stones
"Touch Me (I Want To Feel Your Body)" - Samantha Fox
"Ring Dang Do" - Sam The Sham & The Pharaohs
"So Young, So Bad" - Starz
"She Was Naked" - Supersister
"Hots For Teacher" - Van Halen
"Teach Me Tiger" - April Stevens
"Hot N Nasty" - Black Oak Arkansas (Not to be confused with "Hot & Nasty" by Humble Pie)
"I'm On Fire For You, Baby" - April Wine
"Joystick" - The Dazz Band
"Light My Fire" - The Doors
"Once Bitten Twice Shy" -Great White
"Dirty Love" Frank Zappa
"Big Love" - Fleetwood Mac
"Night Moves" - Bob Seger & the Silver Bullet Band
"The Stripper" - David Rose
"Superlungs My Supergirl" - Donovan with Jeff Beck Group
"Baby It's Cold Outside" - Dean Martin
"Stroke You Up" - Changing Faces
"Jungle Fever" - The Chakachas
"If U Seek Amy" - Britney Spears
"Do It (Til Your Satisfied)" - B.T. Express
"Sex O-Matic" - The Bar Kays
"Milkshake" - Kelis


Wednesday, August 7, 2013

PLASTIC SIGN MOLDS 3 - FUN WITH SEX & RELIGION

Time for more Art/Craft vacuum form molds for plastic signs. This time it is humorous wall plaques. This was 1973 when Jesus freaks, hippies and the sexual revolution was the order of the day. You will notice that unlike the stuff you see on Facebook, these are very genteel, innocuous and childlike (especially the religious stuff). No strident agendas. Just laughs and smiles. Click on the image to enlarge.

What is supposed to be funny about "spicy" and "clout"? A little feminist religious humor at the top.


A black Klansman saying "Just passing thru?" Just the word "Disco?"

The gender sign gags are pretty funny.

Sadly, the Pollack joke was still alive at this time. 



No look at 70's posters or plaques would be complete without "Keep on Truckin."

Before Facebook, it was okay to say you hate work.

Smiley faces, peace signs and the "one way" finger.
 I believe "Go To Hell"  and "sit On It" are the meanest statements on any of these. The one with the drunk cat is clever.
Nice and gentle religious messages.

Followed by dirty sex.

Saturday, July 27, 2013

SECRET LOVE - MOST ANNOYING RECORD COMMERCIAL EVER


As a child, I always liked commercials for records. They usually featured bombastic announcers rattling off the names of the songs on the records, a Chyron graphic vertical scroll of the titles of the songs on the record, usually accompanied by photos of the artist or some related photos (i.e. boys and girls dancing at prom or bikers cruising down Route 66. One even featured a NASA rocket launch). Most of these records were offered by a company called Sessions (although they were produced by major companies such as Warner Brothers, RCA or Columbia).

It was around my senior year in high school (Maybe my first year of college - this commercial ran forever) that I saw what I thought was the worst record commercial ever featuring what, at the time, I considered some of the worst songs in the world. The commercial was for a 4 LP, 3 cassette collection called Secret Love. I might be wrong, but I think this is the first TV record ad to offer a compact disc version. I hated this commercial.

First off, it probably aired more than any record commercial in history. It seemed like it was on every commercial break.

Second, this record was loaded with songs I hated. In the commercial there were only two songs that I liked, "Nights In White Satin" by the Moody Blues and "Waiting For a Girl Like You" by Foreigner. However, seeing the complete track listings there were a few others I like ("Dream Weaver" by Gary Wright and "Strange Way" by Firefall). These were those wimpy songs that radio stations here in the Ozarks were beating to death. These were also the songs favored by the snooty popular girls, who wouldn't go out with me. They were also on student council, so they picked the music for the school dances. it was usually this stuff.

Third, had to do with the format of this ad. Unlike the previous records ads that I mentioned above, this ad must have been the first to feature on-screen spokes people or characters. This one featured an ANNOYING PREPPY COUPLE IN CABLE-KNIT SWEATERS SITTING BY A FIREPLACE IN AN UPSCALE HOME.  I could not stand those two people! They were the little goody-goody, overachiever types that were the bane of my existence in high school (I still run in to a few of these people through work). I would see this commercial and ask myself, "What does that beautiful girl see in that preppy dork???" Notice: The clothes are the same as on the record cover above, but different model/actors.



At the time this aired, I was into mainly heavy metal (hair bands), college rock (alternative and punk to young folks) and classic rock/oldies. I thought it would be great if they made a set of the music I liked. There wasn't a metal or college rock set, but there was a classic rock/oldies set with great songs on it entitled Freedom Rock. Unfortunately, the commercial featured two idiots dressed as hippies sitting by a VW Micro-bus doing a bad Cheech & Chong imitation.

While I still dislike preppies, I have come to accept and even enjoy old soft/light rock of the 70s and 80s. As a matter of fact, readers of this blog may remember that I have proposed a revamped version of the soft/light AC/rock radio format that removes the "Little Miss Pris-Delilah-Mommy Blogger" attitude that made these radio station unbearable to listen to since the early 90s. The music and romantic or mellow mood would be the focus, instead of discussions about "soda-being-bad-for-you" or "girls-wear-too-sexy-dresses-to-prom." As Gilligan at Retrospace would say, it would be "Music for making pancakes."

Maybe in some crazy way, the Secret Love commercial spawned that idea, because "This music brings out the animal in people."   

      

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Sunday, April 7, 2013

PANCAKES IPOD PLAYLIST 2

Retrospace coined the phase "pancakes" as a euphemism for a prominent for of entertainment on the Internet that also starts with the letter "p." There were so many pop songs about "pancakes" that I needed a second playlist. I also see that I could make "pancake" playlist for The Rolling Stones and Prince alone. If you remember, Prince's popularity lead to the call for warning labels on music.

One of the radio stations here in the Ozarks runs a liner that says "Would you want your grandmother to hear some of the current hits played on other radio stations?" My Grandma Jones (Rest her soul) referred to a woman in a skimpy or short dress as "showing Christmas" and referring to a small amount of something as not being "enough to fill a cat's butt." Emenim and 50 Cent isn't going to upset her too much.

Here is those songs about "pancakes" that would upset the grandmas of Springfield, MO.

"Sink the Pink" - AC/DC
"Touch It" - Monifah
"Lightning Strikes" - Lou Christie (In the mid-60s, Lou Christie was banned from some radio stations)
"Sexual Healing" - Marvin Gaye
"Do Me Baby" - Prince
"Tube Snake Boogie" - ZZ Top
"Rattlesnake Shake" - Fleetwood Mac
"Shake, Rattle and Roll" - Big Joe Turner
"Skin Tight" - Ohio Players
"Fat Bottomed Girls" - Queen
"Bump N Grind" - R. Kelly
"Between the Sheets" The Isley Brothers
"One On One" - Hall & Oates
"Centerfold" - J.Geils Band
"Lets Put the X In Sex" - Kiss
"Bad Boy" - Ray Parker Jr.
"Lady Marmalade" - Labelle
"Every Picture Tells a Story" - Rod Stewart
"Something's Burning" The First Edition
"Self Control" - Laura Branigan
"Juicy Fruit" - Mtume
"The Lemon Song" - Led Zeppelin
"She Was Hot" - The Rolling Stones
"When You Touch Me" - Skyy
"Wiggle Wiggle" - The Accents (A "Litty Bitty Pretty One" rip off with racey lyrics)
"Strip" - Adam Ant
"Big Ten Inch Record" - Aerosmith
"Wonder Girl" - Sparks
"Penetration" - Iggy & the Stooges
"Muscles of Love" - Alice Cooper
"Peaches" - The Stranglers
"Turn Off The Lights" - Teddy Pendergrass
"Obsession" - Animotion
"I Touch Myself" - The Divinyls
"Hungry Like The Wolf" - Duran Duran
"Relax" - Frankie Goes To Hollywood
"Shakin" - Eddy Money
"I Wanna Sex You Up" - Color Me Badd
"Sex (I'm a...) - Berlin
"You've Never Been This Far Before" - Conway Twitty (Bom-bom-bom)
"Work With Me Annie" - Hank Ballard and the Midnighters

Remember, practice safe "pancakes."

BTW: Retrospace is looking at the scientific probability of "pancakes" happening.

Thursday, March 21, 2013

'Deep Throat' Star Harry Reems Dead at 65

'Deep Throat' Star Harry Reems Dead at 65 (updated)

Here is an ad for one of Harry Reems movies from a 1977 Springfield News Leader and Press for the Studio Theater in Springfield, MO. I always like to remind Springfieldians of the Studio Theater, because it is sort of a sore spot.
 
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...