FRUSTRATIONS OF A SUPERHERO FAN IN THE OZARKS

Before I begin this post, I want to point you in the direction of two great post on other retro blogs. Plaid Stallions has a podcast about being a young superhero fan in the 70s. Also, Retrospace has a great post about The Incredible Hulk TV series of the late 70s/early 80s.

The Plaid Stallions podcast brought back some memories for me, both good and bad. One point they make is, for must of the early to mid 70s, live-action and animated superheroes in movies and TV was few and far between. Today, we have two or three superhero movies released each summer, but until the late 70s you didn't get any superhero movies. Even after the success of Superman the Movie and the Incredible Hulk TV show, there wasn't very much produced in that vain.

There was older stuff that you read about in an article in Starlog, TV Guide or some other magazine, but there wasn't home video and you were at the mercy of local TV or the networks. This was also at a time where cable systems stopped at the city limits.

I was (and still am) a hard core superhero fan, which has made me a pariah here in the Ozarks. From the time I was about six or seven, adults told me that "superheroes are not real." Other kids (also about six or seven) would tell me "superheroes are for babies," they told me they were dating, which explains why they married early and now are bitter adults post that "kids-today-are-stupid" crap on Facebook.

In many areas of the country, children came home from school to watch reruns of Batman, The Adventures of Superman, Tarzan, or possibly, the Japanese superhero TV show, Ultraman. We had none of that here in the Ozarks. The closest TV market for Batman in this area was Joplin (Okay, I realize some syndication contracts at that time were written so there were non-compete clauses - so maybe Joplin conflicted with Springfield).

If we got a superhero TV show or cartoon on local TV, it was for a brief time. When I was in the second grade, KYTV began running The Lone Ranger series everyday at 4 p.m. Not sure how long they ran it, but I watched it every afternoon.      

At some point, while I was in fourth grade, KOLR began showing the 60s Spider-Man cartoons, but his too was brief.

The only superhero that was on Springfield TV on a very regular basis was Underdog, which was a on-again-off-again afternoon staple on KOLR for many years. Occasionally, Young Sampson would turn up during the summer.

Also, channel 27 (Then known as KMTC) would air The Mighty Hercules at 6 a.m on Saturday and Sunday mornings.

While I mentioned The Lone Ranger (Calling him a superhero might be debatable), I skipped some of the sci-fi shows like Star Trek, Six Million Dollar Man and Buck Rogers, since I wanted to focus on the concept of the superhero ideal not fitting into the Ozarks' mentality.

Some would say, "Why complain about this? You saw them at some point. Get over it!" I wouldn't be as upset if there had been more variety in the mix, but you must understand that M*A*S*H has played on local TV in Springfield since it entered syndication in 1979 and Little House On the Prairie was shown several years in this market from the time it entered syndication. I should also note that these shows were still in production and airing on network television when they turned up in reruns on Springfield TV stations.  

One of the common things I heard growing up and even after I got involved in the media was that "older people don't like that stuff." Does everything in Springfield and the Ozarks have to be approved by old people? I assume old people like infomercials and those bad shows where a white judge yells at a young African-American guy about being "irresponsible." I'm sure in the future we can look forward to reruns of Duck Dynasty.

After growing up and working among people in the Springfield and Ozarks, I realized why so many in this area frown on superheroes. The superhero believes in helping the weak and oppressed for free. Consider the Lone Ranger's creed, which features the passages:

"That all men are created equal and that everyone has within himself the power to make this a better world." 

"That men should live by the rule of what is best for the greatest number."

Neither of these would be uttered by any of my classmates from Lebanon High School or any Springfield businessman. In a Lone Ranger episode entitled "The Law Lady," the Lone Ranger tells Tonto that Wyoming recently passed a law granting women the right to vote. Tonto says that he thinks that is a good idea. "It is a good idea, Tonto. Someday every woman in the Untied States will have that right," the Lone Ranger states. Of course, some local talk radio show host of the past said that only wealthy male land owners should be allowed to vote. I'm going to side with the Lone Ranger on this subject. I was shocked to see on You Tube some comments under some of the Lone Ranger episodes that people think the Lone Ranger killed and even lynched "troublemakers." If you go back to the origin story, the Lone Ranger tells Tonto he will not kill anyone. In several episodes, the Lone Ranger and Tonto stop lynchings, because everyone deserves a fair trial. I think these people commenting on You Tube (Mainly bigots comment on You Tube) are thinking of another group of masked riders...the Klu Klux Klan.

I guess Ozarkers would accept superheroes if they were more like business people and talk radio host. If someone was to create a superhero, who charged an exorbinant fee for his services, only helped white, wealthy, Republican heterosexuals and frequently lectured young people, while dressed in bib overalls, a John Deer cap and a Confederate flag for a cape, then Ozarkers would support the idea of a superhero.

I feel that my love of superheroes has made me the person I am today. I also have never been arrested or had a brush with the law of any kind. I believe in equality, fairness and helping others. Of course, that is why I'm considered the SUPER-VILLAIN of the Ozarks!!! mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! 

Legendary author Richard Matheson passes

Legendary author Richard Matheson passes

'Family Ties' creator Gary David Goldberg dies

The Keaton Family of Family Ties

Goldberg's production company logo and his dog, Ubu.

'Family Ties' creator Gary David Goldberg dies

Superman Colorforms Television Ad

Country singer Slim Whitman dies at age 90

Family: Country singer Slim Whitman dies at age 90

I couldn't find the original commercial for "The All My Best" LP, but here is a 1980 follow up LP commercial.

PLASTIC SIGN LOGO MOLDS - FAST FOOD AND BEVERAGES

When I was in elementary school, my father answered an ad in the Lebanon newspaper from a Springfield based company for a small business opportunity that was supposed to provide "total financial independence." For the most part it was a cam and many people lost their shirt. However, while we never became rich, my father still in this business to a degree and continues to make supplemental income on the side. This was a plastic sign business. If you are in a business, school, church or office in Lebanon, Missouri, you have probably seen one of the engraved plastic signs made by my father and mother.

They also made magnetic plastic signs that were used on company and business vehicles, as well as store decoration. There were rubber molds which went on the vacuum form machine that were of clip art and various corporate logos. There was also a catalog, from a company called Art/Craft that you could order more molds from as you needed them. I plan to post some scans from the catalog old logos, clip art and some "humorous" signs. I included the car and truck rental signs because they were part of the page with the fast food and beverages logos. It is interesting to see which companies are still with us, which are gone and which one changed their logos.    

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I should point out that when this was made the Big Boy was also the mascot of Shoney's too.

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I understood the Taco Bell chihuahua, but the Taco Bell dinosaur is a stretch. I believe I'm in love with the Sandy's logo. Sandy's was bought out by Hardees in the 70s. Hardees should bring Sandy back for a commercial. She could say to a redneck guy, "Do you want to peak under my kilt or a Monster Burger?" and the dumb redneck will say "I want the burger." It is just an idea.

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Let me just say the clip art for Chinese restaurants is very politically incorrect.

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One thing that you will notice looking at these pages is Art/Craft's forte seemed to be cavemen. How many of you remember Budman?

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Not sure why any one thought a guy sitting on ice would entice anyone to buy ice. Nothing ruins the taste of a cold beverage like some guy's butt germs. Also scrubbing the floor with ice isn't a good idea either, but, hey, it was the 70s.

THE TV DAD I IDENTIFY WITH THE MOST - DANNY WILLIAMS

Last year for Father's Day, I posted photos of a few of my favorite TV dads from the past. Later, I realized I forgot one of my favorites, Danny Williams of Make Room for Daddy. I have never been married and I don't have any kids, but I do identify with on one level. Danny, played by Danny Thomas, was a singer and performer, but nobody seemed to give him much credit or respect. The early episodes of the show was based loosely on Thomas' life as a touring nightclub performer and having to make the most of his time at home with his kids.

The show changed networks after a few years and it was revamped. Danny was a widower, but soon remarried a widow named Kathy, who had a little girl. He started performing regularly at a a popular nightclub, so he was at home more often. The running gag that makes me identify with Danny Williams comes into play. In these shows, the kids would need help with a school project or Kathy would need to find someone to entertain for the P.T.A fundraiser. Danny would act like he didn't want to help or would volunteer, only to be told "We knew you were busy so we got _______." You can fill in the blank with many well known personalities of the day. Bob Hope, Milton Berle and Jack Benny appeared more than once in this capacity.

Another scenario was to have a famous singer like Dean Martin or Frankie Lane. While everyone is bragging up Lane or Dino, Danny would casually mention that he was also a singer. Then somebody would say something like "Yeah, but he's good."

Danny's Uncle Tonoose comes to ask Danny to talk his Cousin Stephen (Tony Bennett) out of becoming a singer, because Stephen's parents "don't want him to end up like you." (BTW, I think Borat is the illegitimate son of Uncle Tonoose).

When Danny tries to give advice to the lady directing the kids in the school play, she tells him that all he does is "tell jokes in a saloon." An investigator for A.F.S says the Williams can't host an exchange student because they aren't "representative of a normal American family" since Danny is an entertainer.

In one of the more famous episodes, Danny gets mad after being stopped in a small town called Mayberry for running a stop sign (Danny says there wasn't an intersection, just a stop sign). He tells the sheriff, played by Andy Griffith (Who else?), that he will be sorry for giving him a ticket, because his driver's licence will prove that he is "somebody." Sheriff Taylor exclaims, "You know, I knew that the minute I laid eyes on you. Yes sir, I've never seen a car yet that wasn't being driven by somebody."

This pattern was continued in the short lived 70s sequel Make Room For Granddaddy. The bossy manager for a conseeded singer (Diana Ross) ask "What does he do?"

Of course, what made these gags funny were Danny's blustery meltdowns in reaction. He would yell and wave his arms before Kathy would calm him down.

Why I identify with the Danny Williams is that he was portrayed as the sort of a Rodney Dangerfield of show biz. He is in the shadow of other well-known performers or can be upstaged by a teenager (usually played by young pop stars like Paul Anka, Bobby Rydell or Brenda Lee). Other times, people don't realize he is an entertainer or don't think he has a job.

As a radio personality, I identify with people not recognizing me. They usually say "I thought your voice sounded familiar" after you tell them your name. 

I have also had the problem of people in the industry, who tend to put you down to make themselves look good. I should point out that these people, usually, didn't go to college or a broadcasting school, but, at some point, decided that they could do a better job than you, your veteran co-workers, the local TV news people or most of the national media people. These people seem to think they are more important than anyone else in the building. I actually told a person like this that he needed to have more respect for experienced professionals like myself and my co-workers. He threatened to sue me.

You also get disrespect from people, who have no reason to hate you other than they subscribe to a politaical philosophy that hates entertainment and media people. There is nothing that could lead me to a Danny Williams-style meltdown than being disrespected by the manager of a Kum & Go store that the soda fountain never works and the floor is dirty or some jerk from Mansfield that post links to Newsmax on Missouri Radio Message Board.

Danny Williams was not by no means the perfect dad. He had a bad temper, which lead to loud tirades, he had an inflated ego and he had a habit of doing downright goofy things, like trying on his wife's girdle. What of course made Danny Williams a memorable TV father was the fact that Danny Thomas based the character on himself. His daughter, Marlo, has said that he even worked things that happened at their home into the show.

For someone of my age, who only knew of Danny Thomas as the pitchman for Reader's Digest sweepstakes, coffee makers and the spokesman for St. Judes Children's Research Hospital, watching these shows on DVD (I recommend the episodes made between 1957 and 1961), you also understand the show and Thomas' popularity.

As Danny Williams would say, "Holy Toledo!"