Showing posts with label Heavy Metal. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Heavy Metal. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 18, 2019

IN THE STORY SONG REALM: Original Fantasy Fiction by Jeff Boggs


NOTE: This is an original story by my twin brother about my namesake & a few other characters you may recognize. ENJOY!

IN THE STORY SONG REALM by Jeff Boggs

“Where am I? Where is my baby? Is he okay?” the young woman screamed and began crying after she gained consciousness. She noticed everyone was staring at her with worried looks. In front of her was a nurse, in a traditional white nurses uniform with a royal blue, half cape with red trim.

“What is wrong with her, Carrie?” ask a teenage girl, dressed in a long dress, from a bygone era.

“I'm not sure, Suzy,” the nurse answered the girl. “She just appeared out of nowhere. I wonder if she is one of us.”

The young woman looked around the room at the menagerie crowded around gawking at her. Sitting on the couch next to her was an adorable little blue-eyed girl, in a fancy dress and bow in her blonde hair. Beside the little girl was a waif of a boy. His left eye was blackened  and bruised, his lip was swollen, and he had cigarette burns on his malnourished arms.

There was a tall, strapping man in coveralls and a hard hat with a lantern mounted on it. His face was smeared with coal dust and he held a pick ax in his large hands. She assumed he was a coal miner.

An old African-American man in farm clothes with a mule was standing by the coal miner. At a small table, sat an elderly lady, whose face was caked with make up, wearing a slinky, satin dress, that showed more of her senior citizen body than a person needed to see, and in her white hair were the same faded, purple feathers that were in the boa around her neck. She was drinking a martini and smoking, like a factory, at a table with an old man in a fedora and brown suit, who looked like had been doing prison time.

On a park bench across the room, sat a disheveled,  homeless man with a long, dirty beard, a nose running green stuff and a tubercular cough starring at her with bad intent. Next to him, sat a middle-aged woman in mismatched outfit with a dead rose pined to her coat, clutching a large suitcase. A young man in a Yankee uniform from the Civil War standing at attention.  A large, armored android was in a chair in a corner, like a kindergartner being punished for acting up.

“Carrie, when you finish giving aid to that hysterical woman, we need to go over these maps that you brought to the Four Winds Bar,” spoke an icy, Satanic voice, like a cross between Vincent Price and Barnabas Collins, with a dash of Roddy McDowell. The young woman became frightened at the strange figure, who had spoken. He wore a long, black cape adorned with pentagrams and half moons. His face was covered with a strange black and white mask. “I'm anxious to take over the world.”

“Hold on, Desdinova! This may take awhile!”

“Yer shtoopid, Desdinova,” snarled a guy sitting a on wet tarp, wearing a t-shirt with a Confederate flag on it, reading 'If you can wear your X, I'm gonna wear mine'. He had a bottle of whiskey in one hand and a red, plastic cup, full of tobacco spit, in the other. He also had tobacco spit on his shirt and running from his mouth. “Ya ain't never gonna rule the world. Folks ain't gonna vote fur ya.”

“Any more of your bubbles and squeaks, Earl, and I will render you mute!” the strange figure snapped.

“Could you two stop bickering for a few moments?” said a young man in a denim jacket with his hair in a pompadour and scars on his face, like he had being fighting most of his life.

“Where's my baby? Where is little Billy?” the young woman screamed and cried.

A short, pudgy, middle-aged man walked over to where her. “Yes, what can I do for you?”

The young mother looked bewildered. “Who are you?”

“Everyone calls me Little Billy,” the chubby fellow explained in a soft British accent. “I run a special foster home. I'm raising the children of all my friends, who died of lung cancer from smoking cigarettes. I don't mind.”

The Union soldier ran over, “My name is Billy! Do you need me to do something like deliver a message to another brigade?”

A teenage boy sauntered over. “My name is Billy too,” he announced in a thick Mississippi accent.

“You don't understand!” the young mother screamed. “Billy is my baby! He was in the backseat, when my car skidded off the highway on the ice! He may still be in the car...out in the cold!”

“I would be happy to go search for your baby in the cold and snow!” the Union soldier said. “I want to be a hero, even if it means being a fool with my life.”

Little Billy whispered to Miss Carrie, the nurse, “Do you think she has passed away?”

“I don't think so. She may be here temporary, like an out of body experience,” Miss Carrie nurse replied. “But you might have the life transition councilors come over an talk to her.”

As Little Billy walked away, Earl lit up a cigarette. “Hey Fatso, look what I'm doing.” He then blew cloud of second-hand smoke in Little Billy's direction. “Ima smokin and ya ain't gonna stop me.”

“You are a pathetic monster, Earl,” Little Billy denounced Earl in his soft British voice.

The tough, young man in denim shot Earl an angry look. “Why don't you leave folks alone, Earl? Maybe people would start liking you. Little Billy may be a big man on the outside, be he is an even bigger man on the inside.”

“I ain't listening to you. You got a girly name,” Earl sneered, the let out a Goofy-like chuckle. “Huh Huh Huh.”

“You bring that up again and I'll bust your head like an Arkansas watermelon,” the young man warned Earl.

“Would you like a drink of water or coffee?” Miss Carrie nurse asked the young mother.

“Water would be fine,” the young mother replied. “But I need to find my baby Billy to see if he is alright!”

“I'll go get the waitress from the Ya'll Come Back Saloon,” said the miner.

“Thanks John,” Miss Carrie nurse admonished the giant of a man as he walked toward a bar area. A creepy character wearing a straight-jacket came over to Miss Carrie's friend, Suzy, which caused Suzy to be startled.

“Is your name Suzy?” the mental patient asked with a deranged twinkle in his eye and almost perverted smile on his face.

“Yes, why do you ask?' Suzy answered with a quiver in her voice.

“I just think it is a coincidence that I took a girl name Suzy to the junior prom,” the mental patient told the frightened girl. “Then I raped her and killed her and build a little cage with her bones.  They said I was an excitable boy.”

“You need to go back to your room and leave us alone! Can't you talk to your roommate?” Carrie scolded the mental patient, as she tried to lead him away from Suzy, who was shaking with fear.

“He's no fun. All he wants to do is dance with that headless mannequin that he calls Glendora,” the mental patient huffed. "Besides there are werewolves hanging around my room."

  "Are you afraid they will attack you?" Miss Carrie nurse asked.

  "No, I just don't like them, because their hair is better looking than mine," the mental patient explained. "They just drink pina coladas and eat chow main."

“Miss Carrie Nurse, I'll walk him back to his room. You care for that young lady, that was in the car wreck,” the tough, young man said as he grabbed the 'excitable boy' by the collar of his straight-jacket to escort him back to his room.

“Why don't ya tell him what yer name is!” Earl shouted in a mocking tone before spitting tobacco into the red Solo cup in his hand.

“You know, I think I will,” the tough boy answered Earl. He then began to explain to the mental patient, as he dragged him back to his room, “You talk about a coincidence, guess what my name is?”

An attractive young woman in hot pants and a cropped t-shirt, carrying a tray walked up. Around her neck was an expensive looking braided, silver chain with a locket attached at the end.

“Hello, I'm Brandy, I'll be your waitress. Our featured drink is the Funky Cold Medina. We also have a special on strawberry wine in long tall glasses, filled up to there. They are free, if you can dance like Fred Astaire.”

“I need to find my baby and my car!” the young mother screamed frantically. Brandy looked at Miss Carrie Nurse and Suzy with concern.

“Bring us two bottles of water,” Carrie Nurse told Brandy. “We think she needs to re-hydrate.”

Brandy began walking away, when the old lady in the slinky dress and feather boa waved her over to the table she was sharing with the aging gangster.

“Brandy, could you bring me and Uncle Sonny another martini. We're celebrating his release from prison. He can give you that twenty dollar bill, in his hat band, as a tip.”

“I'm saving that for cab fare,” Uncle Sonny explained to Brandy. “I'm planing on going to Central Park later on.”

“Then put the martinis on my tab and bring each of us two more,” the old lady instructed Brandy, who put the empty glasses, from the table, on her tray.

“Lola, you are drinking yourself half blind!” Brandy scolded the elderly lady.

“I might as well,” Lola confessed in her booze soaked voice. “The man I loved is dead, the place I loved to work is a disco and nobody wants to see a ninety year old woman dance. What kind of music is in the bar tonight?”

“It's the guitar jam with Clayton Delaney and Johnny B. Goode. Tomorrow night, there is a retro/paisley underground band from the 80s, with a girl lead singer,” Brandy explained.

“Is she the one that wears electric boots and a mohair suit?” Lola asked, as she lit another cigarette.

“No, this girl has hair like Jean Shrimpton did in 1965,” Brandy said. “You're thinking of that girl named Bennie. She fronts a glam band called the Jets” Brandy walked into the bar and came back with the bottled water for the young mother.

“Is the bar going to have that kid from Georgia that plays the violin again?” Desdinova asked Brandy as she walked past him.

“I don't think so,” Brandy answered.

“Good! I detest little snot! He beat a friend of mine out of his priced golden violin in a so-called fiddle contest, and then, to add insult to injury, called my friend's mother the 'b-word.”

“I relay your complaint to Joe the manager,” Brandy affirmed. “He would understand since he is a musician. He plays a mean piano.”

“I know him,” Desdinova smiled. “He has a black mustache and wears a red bandanna and purple sash. I believe he used to run a honky-tonk down in Mexico.”

“Yes he did,"  Brandy explained. "He also had a cantina in El Paso, but there was a guy got shot there.”

“Tragic. So many tragic things have happened to people here. Let me add, that I would love to marry you. You're a fine girl and would make a good wife,” Desdinova took Brandy's hand and kissed it. She blushed and a tear came to her eye.

“She wouldn't wanna marry you, Desdinova! You call yerself an Alka-Seltzer,” Earl blurted out and chased with a loud belch.

“I'm an alchemist, not an Alka-Seltzer, you idiotic redneck!” Desdinova screamed back.

Two young women walked over to Carrie Nurse and Suzy. One was dressed like a housewife of the late Sixties and the other was dressed like a housewife of the early 70s.

“Little Billy said you may need a Passage of Life councilor for a woman, who had been in an auto accident,” the Sixties housewife said with a pleasant voice.

“We don't know all of her situation yet. She says she lost control of her car on the ice and snow. She may just be in a momentary state of limbo. She is worried about her infant son, who was in the back seat asleep. You might try to be careful what you say to her.” Carrie Nurse explained to the two ladies. They both agreed to be delicate as possible. They walked over to the couch, where the young mother was sitting.

“Could you children move so we can talk to this lady?” the Sixties housewife asked the little blonde girl.

“I don't want to go sit on that park bench,” the little blonde girl explained. “That old guy that has snot running out his nose and makes a sound like a deep sea diver, when he breathes. He also ask to see my panties.”

“And that lady with the suitcase is crazy,” the little boy piped up. “She says thinks a man is coming to take her to a mansion in the sky. You know, she is forty-one and her daddy still calls her baby.”

“You could sit in the floor, if you like,” the Sixties housewife said. “But we need to talk to this lady.” The children agreed to sit in the floor.

“What are your names?” the Seventies housewife asked the children.

The little blonde girl smiled and announced, “My name is Jennifer.”

“That is pretty dress and bow in your hair,” the Sixties housewife gushed. “Did your grandma buy that for you?”

“No, my pet rabbit bought it for me, when he went to town in an old streetcar, with a turtle and kangaroo and a bunch of monkey from the city zoo,” the little girl explained.

The little boy reluctantly told they Passage of Life councilors in a soft voice, “My name is Luka and I live upstairs on the second floor. You've probably seen me before. I guess I'm clumsy. I walked into the door again. It's none of your business anyway.”

Jennifer got a smile on her face and told Luka, “Hey, we could go look at that android that was used to fight wars in time and space!”

“I don't know if would be safe for you children to bother the Iron Man,” the Seventies housewife warned the children.

“He's harmless, he just stares at the wall.” Jennifer said before they scampered away.

Brandy came back with the two bottles of water for the young mother, after dropping off the martinis for the elderly twosome. “Here you go! This is from the well of Desert Pete.”

The young mother took the bottles of water and thanked Brandy, then said, “Can I ask you a question? Who is the old lady you drinking all those martinis?”

“That's Lola, she was a showgirl at the Copacabana,” answered Brandy. “She kind of lost her mind after her boyfriend was killed many years ago. She is like me, she loves a man, who is no longer around.” Brandy then walked back to the Ya'll Come Back Saloon.

The Sixties housewife took the young mother's hand, “Hi, my name is Honey and I'm a Passage of Life councilor here in the story song realm. Just so you know, I'm training this new girl to help me.” The Seventies housewife gave the young mother a sympathetic grin. “I had to fire my last assistant councilor, because she kept calling people 'country bumpkin.' We think you're here because you may have passed away. Now, there is nothing to be ashamed about being deceased. Many of us here are dead. There is a girl here, who lived on Yellow Mountain, that died in a blizzard looking for her lost pony named Wildfire, and another girl, who walks through the moors, calling for a boy named Johnny to remember her. There is also a girl, who was run over by a train, while trying to retrieve her boyfriend's class ring from their car that was stalled on the railroad tracks. In the late 50s, several teenagers came here after they passed away. There is a young race car driver, name Tommy, that keeps wanting people to tell a girl name Laura that he loves her.”

“And that leader of a motorcycle gang, called the Pack, that got hit by a truck.” the Seventies housewife added. “Don't forget those one hundred Chicago policemen that died in that gun battle, on the old East Side, with Al Capone's men.”

The Sixties housewife nodded in agreement, “That man with the mule, Old Rivers, died after years of plowing fields and planting crops, and Big John died when a mine caved in on him.”

“Oh yeah, Earl's wife and her best friend poisoned him and threw his body in a lake,” the Seventies housewife added. “But he had it coming and you know, nobody missed him at all.”

“I can understand that,” the young mother asked. “What about that Desdinova character?”

“No, he is immortal. They say he started World War One,” the Sixties housewife clarified. “We're are both dead. I should ask at this point, do you have a husband?”

“I did, but we are going through an ugly divorce,” the young mother began to explain. “I found out he cheating on me with a red headed woman name Jolene. I went and begged her not to take him away from me. It didn't work, so while they were at a bar, one night, I broke out the headlights on his pickup truck, with a baseball bat, and scratched the doors with my car keys.”

“We have some very understanding judges here in the Story Song Realm,” the Seventies housewife assured her. She then pointed to an attractive young woman. “See that girl there...she killed the Fortune Telling Queen of New Orleans and her boyfriend, when she caught them together. The judge let her off, because of her rough childhood. You see, she was born in the wagon of a traveling show and her mother had to dance for the money men would throw.”
 
“It is probably good that we don't have a husband to deal with,” Honey told the young mother. “My doctor called one morning and told me I had a brain tumor, but I chose not to tell my husband. There was nothing he could do, so why cause him to worry. He would come home from work early and I would be crying about it, but I still kept it a secret. I just died one day while he was at work. He took it kind of hard, but...”

The Seventies housewife interrupted Honey, “I know I shouldn't say anything since I'm being trained, but I feel you should have told him you were going to die. My husband was with me when the doctor gave me the test results. I leaned my husband, Rocky, for strength. I told him, 'I've never had to die before, I don't know if I can do it.' Even though I’m gone, I still give him little pep talks in my own sweet voice.”

The two councilors began bickering about how they handled their demise, when Desdinova walked over to the young mother with a large mirror and held it up to her.

“You cast a reflection, as does Carrie Nurse and Suzy Dear,” he explained before turning the mirror to others in the room. Those ladies don't. That kid from Mississippi doesn't, so he is obviously dead. Old Rivers and Big John don't. Brandy, Lola and Uncle Sonny do have a reflection.” He then looked around. “Where are those two children?”

Brandy spoke up, as she dropped off another round of drinks for Lola and Uncle Sonny, “Jennifer and Luka are playing with Annie, that little orphan girl, who froze to death while making artificial flowers.”

Desdinova spun back around to where the young mother was, with his cape swirling around him, “Those two children would have a reflection, but the other child wouldn't.” He turned the mirror again. “Our tough, young friend and Little Billy cast reflections, but Earl doesn't...which we can all be glad of. My point is, the people who do not cast reflections are deceased. The ones with a reflection are still living and you, my dear, are still living. I believe we should get you back to your car and your child, if we can find where you went off the road.”

“We were on our way to my parents house in Cincinnati,” the young mother explained. “A blizzard came up and it was hard to see. I lost control of the car on the ice. I'm not really sure where I was at, because I couldn't see.”

“If that car is in a ditch,” Old Rivers said. “I'm sure my mule could pull it out.”

“I can give it a mighty shove,” Big John added. “Pushing a car out of a ditch or snowbank would be no problem.”

“Wait a minute,” the tough, young man spoke up. “Don't we know an astronaut that is stranded out in space? If we could contact him, maybe he could see it from space and tell us where it is.”

“I'll bet that little, crippled, boy with all that radio equipment could contact him,” Old Rivers said. Big John, Billy the Union soldier and the tough boy went and carried the boy and his equipment out of his room, to where everyone was. The tough guy plugged in the radio equipment and the little boy turned on the mike.

“Ground control to Major Tom. Ground control to Major Tom. Major Tom, are you there? Please talk to little Teddy Bear,” the boy spoke into the microphone on the old Motorola radio set.

“This is Major Tom to ground control,” came a voice through the static on the radio's speaker.

“We need your help finding a car that ran off the road, in a snow storm, on the way to Cincinnati,” the little boy asked. “There is a baby inside named Billy.” The radio crackle with white noise.

“This is Major Tom and I'm stepping through door,” the voice said. “I see a Ford Fiesta in a snowbank along State Highway 27. On closer examination there is a baby in a car seat, sleeping soundly in the back. Not sure if his name is Billy or not. Tell my wife I love her very much...I think she knows.”

The static became louder and the voice fell silent. “Ground control to Major Tom, something is wrong! Can you hear me Major Tom? If you can hear me, say something to little Teddy Bear,” the boy cried as he frantically operated the squelch knob on the radio set.

“I know where Highway 27 in Ohio is! I'll lead the way! I can be a hero!” Bill the Union soldier exclaimed.

“I can ride Midnight out there,” Rivers said. “How about you Big John?”

“I'll meet you guys outside,” Big John explained. “I'm going to the barn to saddle up that horse that doesn't have a name.”

Desdinova walked over to Rivers with small, mahogany box with strange carvings on the side. “Rivers, take these with you, they might come in handy. These are galvanic keys made of copper, zinc and other metals. They may help you start the car, if the battery is dead. Just attach these to the terminals and then start the motor. The silver ones can open the doors, if they are locked. No incantations needed.”

“You know something, Mr. Desdinova, you're are a right decent fellow, for a crazy, alchemist, who wants to rule the world,” Rivers admonished. “I'll bring these back to you. I hate when someone borrows a man's tools and doesn't give them back.” Old Rivers climbed up on Midnight and rode out the door.

“Nice of you to loan those tools out like that, Desdinova,” said the young fighter. “I hope they don't loose them out in the snow.”

“Don't worry, young man. Those are simple tools that anyone can make. They are insignificant to my grand plans,” Desdinova explained. “What I would love to have are the four wands, created by the American alchemist, Osiris Bulicroix, known as the Mad Cajun of South. He is said to have created a set of four wands that could control the weather, control minds and turn dirt into gold.”

The teenage boy, with the Southern accent, sauntered over to where Desdinova, “Mr. Desdinova, sir, my name is Billy Joe MacAllister. Did I hear you call the name Osiris Bulicroix? He was my mama's great uncle!”

“Really? Do you know what happened to his earthly possessions after he died?” Desdinova asked with intense interest.

“They are all still in his old house place, up on Choctaw Ridge,” Billy Joe explained to the interested, megalomaniac alchemist. “Me and this girl, that I've been friends with all my life, Roberta Streeter, we used to play in the old house when we was kids. There were just all sorts of neat stuff in his house. All kinds of candles, leather bound books, swords, axes, skulls, and down in the root cellar was a laboratory filled with bottle of weird chemicals and potions.”

Desdinova produced a leather bound book, flipped to an illustration of the wands and showed Billy Joe, “I'll show you what I would like from his collection. These things. Do you know if they are still there?”

Billy Joe looked at the picture in the book with sheepish expression and said with slight embarrassment, “Oh, them things. Last time me and my friend, Roberta was at Uncle Osiris' house, we kind of threw them away.”

“In the trash?”

“No, we threw them off the Tallahatchie Bridge,” Billy Joe confessed. “They did make a big splash when they hit the water, though.”

“You know, that water in the Tallahatchie River is awful muddy,” the young fighter spoke up. “I'll bet those wands are still under the water. Desdinova, with all your magic, you could probably find a way to get them out of the river.”

“It says in the book that they will glow in the dark beneath a full moon!” Desdinova exclaimed with delight. “I could probably retrieve them from the murky depths of that Southern tributary and with them, I, Desdinova, would rule the world.” He then laughed a loud maniacal laughter.

“I want to warn you,” Billy Joe cautioned. “Not only is that water muddy, but it is rather cold. I know, because a week after me and Roberta threw those things off the bridge, I was walking home from Choctaw Ridge and there was this woman in a long, black dress, walking toward me from the other end. She looked young and pretty, until she got up to me and, then she aged, right before my eyes to about a hundred years old and turned a gray corpse color. She must have been a haint of some sort. Then, she shoved me off the bridge and I drowned.”

“Somebody told me you jumped off the bridge?,” the young, tough, fighter asked.

“Why would I do something stupid like that?”

“I think I will go to Mississippi and get Bulicroix's wands out of the Tallahatchie River!” Desdinova exclaimed.

“I hope you drowned in that thar river or some good ole boys hang ya and then throw yer body in the river,” Earl smarted off.

“Earl, you can't kill me,” Desdinova laughed. “I'm immortal, unlike you.”

“He's right, Earl!” the young, tough, fighter chided the redneck. “You can't talk. Your wife, and her best friend, fed you poisoned black-eyed peas.”

“Oh yeah,” Earl snapped. “At least I ain't got a woman's name.” He then stood up and hollered to everyone in ear shot and pointed to the tough guy. “Hey yall, this ole boy here is named Sue! Ya here me, his name is Sue! That's a gal's name!”

“That does it! You asked for it!” and with that Sue knocked Earl to the ground, with the whiskey bottle and tobacco spit cup spilling everywhere. 

Old Rivers rode back into the room on his mule, holding Desdinova's box, with some snow in his white hair and on his shoulders. Big John was right behind him.

"Old Rivers and me got your car out of the ditch and started it, Miss," Big John said.

"Your baby is fine," Old Rivers reassured her. "Sleeping like a log."

"That Yankee soldier, Billy, said he wanted to standing guard until you got back to your car," Big John chuckled. "He wants to be a hero, whether or no."

"Somebody call the lady a cab, so she can get back to her baby and get back on the road," Old Rivers said. "There is two taxis here, which one is available?"

"I'll get the Nashville cab that the boyfriend of that country singer Kay drives," answered Sue. "I don't trust that taxi driver from San Francisco. He likes to get stoned and pretend he is flying in his taxi."

Carrie Nurse and Suzy helped the young mother up from the sofa and began walking her to the door. "Good luck, you shouldn't have any more bad weather on your way to Cincinnati."

"How do you know?" the young mother asked.

"I read it on the map I found, behind the clock, at the Four Winds Bar," Carrie Nurse explained.

"Remember, I will need that map in my quest to take over the world," Desdinova reminded Carrie Nurse.

"Ya cain't take over the world with no maps and wands, like some sorta fairy," Earl started shooting his mouth off again. "Ya need guns and pickup trucks if ya wanna take over the guberment."

Everyone present unanimously yell, "SHUT UP, EARL!"

Suzy handed her an envelope with a Christmas card inside and Carrie Nurse slipped in a small stack of one hundred dollar bills before closing it. "We signed a Christmas card for you and are giving you some money," Suzy told the young mother.

"You didn't need to take up a collection for me," the young mother said.

"We didn't," Carrie Nurse explained. "It is a gift from the newlyweds from Saginaw, Michigan. He became rich when he sold his father-in-law a worthless gold claim in the Klondike."

"Thank you. I appreciate your help. Goodbye." the young mother said, as the large room and everyone seemed to dissolve into the darkness. She heard the windshield wipers whipping back and forth on the windshield. The heater was blowing full blast. She looked in the back seat and Billy was sound asleep. She was in the car again or maybe she had never left. It must have been a dream, she thought. It had to be a dream, because it was too crazy to have really happened. That was a strange gathering of people that would never be together in the same place.
 
She pulled her car back onto State Highway 27 and had an uneventful drive the rest of the way to her parent's house. She heard Billy shake his rattle, gurgling and babbling, so he was awake. When she parked her car in her parent's driveway, she looked down and saw on the seat beside her a Christmas card in an envelope. Before she went to bed, she opened the envelope and pulled out the card. Not only was there a card, but there was one thousand dollars in hundred dollar bills in the envelope too. She opened the card and it was signed by almost everyone she had met, except for the Iron Man and Earl.

"MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM THE RESIDENTS OF THE STORY SONG REALM!  Miss Carrie Nurse, Suzy Dear, Desdinova the Eternal Light, the Boy Named Sue, Big Bad John, Old Rivers, Honey & Mrs. Jay "Rocky" Stevens the Passage of Life Counselors, Brandy, Lola the Showgirl, Uncle Sonny, the Excitable Boy (BTW you have great bone structure), Jennifer and her brown and white rabbit, Luka, Delta Dawn, Aqualung, Little Billy of the Home for the Orphans of the Victims of Lung Cancer, Billy the Yankee, Billie Joe MacAllister, Teddy Bear and Kay's boyfriend the taxi driver." 

© Copyright 2019 Jeff Boggs

BTW: Jeff would like to thank the following recording artist: Carrie Underwood, Blue Oyster Cult, Tom Paxton, Susan Vega, Jimmy Dean, Walter Brennan, Barry Manilow, Tony Carey, Jethro Tull, Tanya Tucker,  Bo Donaldson & the Heywoods, Black Sabbath, The Dixie Chicks, Johnny Cash, The Who,  Bobby Gentry, Oak Ridge Boys, Warren Zevon, Perry Como, The Looking Glass,  Tone Loc, Deanna Carter,  Leo Sayer, Tom T. Hall,  Chuck Berry,  The Smithereens, Elton John, Charlie Daniels, The Coasters. Marty Robbins,  Bobby Goldsboro, Austin Roberts (and Woody P. Snow), Kingston Trio, Cal Smith, Michael Martin Murphy, John Leighton, Mark Dinning, Ray Peterson, The Shangri-Las, Paper Lace, Dolly Parton, Cher, Bobby Darin, David Bowie, Red Sovine, John Wesley Ryles & Harry Chapin. They made this story possible.




Sunday, July 2, 2017

WE'RE GONNA CHANGE IT UP A BIT - COVER SONGS THAT WERE DRASTICALLY DIFFERENT THAN THE ORIGINAL


Let's face it, most cover songs sound pretty close to the original. The Beatles version of "Twist and Shout" sounds like the Isley Brothers version, Smash Mouth's version of "I'm a Believer" sounds almost identical to The Monkees version, and even the Jeff Beck Group's version of "Love Is Blue" sounds like Paul Mauriat's "Love is Blue." These are called "faithful" cover versions.

However, there artist that take things in a totally different direction. This blog post (and podcast) will celebrate those great cover versions that "changed it up a bit."

Since I'm using the podcast for illustration, I won't go into very much detail. However, I will point out the inspiration for this post. The Bluebelles' 1984 British hit "Young At Heart" was the subject of a lawsuit by former Fabulous Poodles' fiddle player Bobby Valentino, who played on the record. He said that he should get a credit and some compensation, because his fiddle playing contributed to the success of The Bluebelles recording. It was originally recorded by Bananarama the previous year with a typical bouncy, synthesizer pop song that Bananarama was known for. The judge agreed that his country pop fiddle made the remake a big hit.

I got to thinking about other cover songs that seem to be unrecognizable from the original. Vanilla Fudge's headbanging psychedelic version of The Supremes hit "You Keep Me Hanging On" came to mind, along with Peggy Lee's smoldering, beatnikish version of Little Willie John's bumpin blues "Fever."

I once heard an interview where Screaming Jay Hawkins said he liked Nina Simone's version of "I Put a Spell On You" better than his. On the other hand, I had a co-worker in radio, who would become visibly angry at the very mention of James Taylor's version of the Jimmy Jones hit "Handy Man." Personally, I never cared for Donna Summer's version of "MacArthur Park" and I like most of Donna Summer's hits.

Everyone has covered "Do You Want To Dance?" and "Money," but Bette Midler and the Flying Lizards did those songs different than any other act.

Many of theses are either, rocker becomes ballad, soft rock becomes heavy metal or disco, even a psychedelic pop song turned into a bluegrass song and a bluegrass song from a 60's rural sitcom turned into a Celtic dirge. Even a British rock band doing a goofy Perry Como song about mannequin lust. So lets take a listen.

NOTE: I realize the sound is bad on this. I'm using "borrowed" equipment, so I don't have control of the sound quality. My apologies. I also used a "guest announcer" for this podcast.

"Young At Heart" The Bluebelles 1984 (Original recording by Bananarama 1983)
"For Once In My Life" Stevie Wonder 1968 (Original hit Tony Bennett in 1967)
"Summertime Blues" Blue Cheer 1967 (Original hit by Eddie Cochran 1958)
"Do You Want To Dance?" Bette Midler 1972 (Original hit by Bobby Freeman 1958)
"Love Buzz" Nirvana 1989 (Original recording by Shocking Blue 1969)

"Hooked On a Feeling" Blue Suede 1974 (Original hit by B.J Thomas)
"I Put a Spell On You" Nina Simone 1965 (Original hit by Screaming Jay Hawkins 1955)
"There Is a Time" Solas 2008 (Original recording by The Dillards with Maggie Peterson 1964)
"Fever" Peggy Lee 1958 (Original recording by Little Willie John 1956)
"Diamonds & Rust" Judas Priest 1977  (Original hit by Joan Baez 1975)
"Careless Whispers" Seether 2009 (Original hit by Wham 1984)
"Handy Man" James Taylor 1978 (Original hit by Jimmy Jones 1960)
"The Locomotion" Grand Funk Railroad 1974 (Original hit by Little Eva 1962)
"Bette Davis Eyes" Kim Carnes 1981 (Original recording by Jackie DeShannon 1975)
"Money" The Flying Lizards 1980 (Barrett Strong 1959)
"Sweet Dreams (Are Made of These)" Marilyn Manson 1994 (Original hit for The Eurythmics 1983)
"Satisfaction" Devo 1980 (Original hit for The Rolling Stones 1965)
"Fox On the Run" Tom T. Hall 1976 (Original hit by Manfred Mann 1969)
"Summertime" Billy Stewart 1966 (Written in 1937, first rock era version by Sam Cooke 1957)
"Never Gonna Say Goodbye" Gloria Gaynor 1974 (Original hit by the Jackson Five 1972)
"You Keep Me Hanging On" Vanilla Fudge 1968 (Original hit by The Supremes 1966)
"MacArthur Park" Donna Summer 1980 (Original hit by Richard Harris 1968)
"Woodstock" Mathews Southern Comfort fall 1970 (Original hit by Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young March 1970)
"With a Little Help From My Friends" Joe Cocker 1968 (Originally recorded by The Beatles in 1967)
"Walk On By" The Stranglers 1980 (Original hit for Dionne Warwick 1962)
"Proud Mary" Ike & Tina Turner 1971 (Original hit for Creedence Clearwater Revival 1969)
"Light My Fire" Jose Feliciano 1968 (Original hit by The Doors 1967)
"Knock On Wood" Amii Stewart 1979  (Original hit by Eddie Floyd 1966)
"I'm a Man" The Yardbirds 1965 (Original hit by Bo Diddley 1955)
"House of the Rising Sun"  Frygid Pink 1970 (Original hit by The Animals 1964)
"Hey Joe"  Jimi Hendrix 1967 (Original hit by The Leaves 1965)
"Glendora" The Downliners Sect 1966 (Original hit by Perry Como 1956)
"Ain't No Mountain High Enough" Diana Ross 1970 (Original hit for Marvin Gaye & Tami Terrell 1967)

And last but not least:

"Blinded By The Light," "For You" and "Spirits In the Night" Manfred Mann's Earth Band 1976-1980 (Original recordings by Bruce Springsteen 1973).

P. S: Before you say "You left off The Cowboy Junkies version of the Velvet Underground's "Sweet Jane." It is different than the version of the Loaded LP." True, but the Cowboy Junkies version is identical to the version The Velvet Underground performs on the Live 1969 LP. So it doesn't count.



Friday, February 5, 2016

DESDINOVA'S 25 GREATEST GUITAR INTROS OF THE 70s


One of the earmarks of 70s rock was the guitar intro. Some have called it a trend, but in reality, they were perfected in the 70s. Lets face it, the first one in rock & roll was Chuck Berry's open to "Johnny B. Good," followed by Buddy Holly's noodling at the beginning of "That Will Be the Day" and we should mention Dave Appell's riff at the beginning of  John Zacherely"s"Dinner With Drac."

The 60s brought the British Invasion, garage bands and psychedelic rock, all of which paved the way for heavy metal and prog rock of the 70s. I could do a whole post on 60s guitar intros too. Everything from "Day Tripper," "Satisfaction," "You Really Got Me," "I Can See For Miles," "Eight Miles High," "Pleasant Valley Sunday," "Sunshine of Your Love," "Who's Gonna Mow Your Grass"...like I said enough for another post.

The 80s & 90s had some great ones too, by Guns N Roses, R.E.M, Van Halen, Loverboy, Nirvana, just to name a few. That also could be another post.

In researching this subject, I realize that not every song began with a rocking guitar intro. Some of the biggest hard rock songs of the 70s began with a slow acoustic guitar build up before the hard rocking guitars began. The obvious example is Led Zeppelin's "Stairway To Heaven." Also in this group would be Boston's "More Than a Feeling," Kiss's "Black Diamond," Heart's "Crazy On You" and Chilliwack's "Fly By Night."

Also some of the great guitar riffs are preceded by keyboard parts. I ruled those songs out, because I wanted to list those that kick off the song in a big way or at least start song of within a short time. 

I'm going to rank these. I usually don't do that but with this list it would be impossible not to do so. I'm sure some will want to argue, I guess I will accept it.

1.  "Layla" - Derek & the Dominoes: If I hadn't listed this as the number one guitar riff of the 70s, there would have been an outcry all over the Internet. This is one of the songs, if not the song, that set the standard for 70s guitar intros.

2.  "All Right Now" - Free: Like "Layla," it is one of the Class of 1970. This one is simple, but punches you right between the eyes.  Steve Miller wrote "Rock N Me" as a tribute to Free guitarist Paul Kossoff.

3.  "China Grove" - Doobie Brothers: This one was the guitar intro for mainstream pop-rock. This 1973 hit was the great guitar intro for AM radio. Granted, the top two were big AM radio hits too, but this one cemented the idea that a big hit needed a big guitar into, no matter what style of music you did.

4.  "Smoke On the Water" - Deep Purple: Anyone who doesn't try to play this the first time they pick up a guitar, has no business even holding a guitar. The great thing about it is that even if you are lousy and never held a guitar, people can tell that you are attempting to play this song. Like "China Grove" this was 1973.

5.  "Whole Lotta Love" - Led Zeppelin: I had to put Led Zep in the Top 5. Another one from 1970.

6.  "Life In the Fast Lane" - The Eagles: If you were cruising the main drag of your town on a Friday night, there wasn't a better song to have on the radio than this one. Hard to believe there are some people who don't like this song. In a good country, they would be executed for not liking that song.

7.  "Sweet Jane" - Lou Reed: This is an anomaly. Many people consider it one of the greatest guitar intros of the 70s, but it wasn't until the fourth version of the song that it people probably noticed it. The Velvet Underground's 1970 version actually opens with a psychedelic flourish before Lou Reed starts singing. The original version, not released until 1974 on the Live 1969 LP,  was a slow ballad, but still using that familiar riff. The version on the 1972 Live at Max's Kansas City LP actually has a longer intro with the riff. However, the version that more than likely made this one of the great 70s guitar intros was the version from the 1973 Lou Reed live LP Rock & Roll Animal. Guitarist Steve Hunter and Dick Wagner gave this a metal crunch that hits you like a sledge hammer to the head.

8.  "Iron Man" - Black Sabbath: Speaking of metal crunch that hits you like a sledge hammer to the head. Ozzy Osbourne said it best, when you hear this you actually imagine "a big metal bloke walking about." Beavis & Butthead would probably agree.

9.   "Jet Airliner" - Steve Miller Band: This is one of those that sounded better on AM radio than FM. I also think the single edit is better because it goes from the intro into the lyrics, whereas the LP cut goes into a rather redundant guitar bridge before the lyrics. Either way, it is a 70s classic.

10.  "Takin Care of Business" - Bachman-Turner Overdrive: This one builds up on a scale into a upbeat, fun,  heavy metal, boogie woogie jam.

11.  "Long Cool Woman (In a Black Dress)" - The Hollies:  This one can send chills up my spine when I hear it. Not sure why. The fact that the light and innocent Hollies gave us this may have something to do with it. It's as sexy as...well, a long cool woman in a black dress.

12. "Treat Her Like a Lady" - Cornelius Brothers & Sister Rose: Usually, soul & funk doesn't get mentioned in the pantheon of great guitar songs of the 70s, but they had some great guitar riffs and intros too. This is one of them. Much like "Takin Care of Business" builds up the scale into a great driving riff. It's so cool, it was used to introduce Ron Burgundy in Anchorman.

13. "Don't Fear The Reaper" - Blue Oyster Cult: Forget the cowbell, the guitar is what makes this song a classic. It is like a Byrds guitar riff on steroids. Not sure if it was on a 12 string guitar or it just sounded like one, but it certainly has a beauty to it that the others guitar intros don't.

14.  "Aqualung" - Jethro Tull: What better way to introduce a song about a homeless, drunken, pedophile with a runny nose than with a sinister guitar riff like this. One of the brilliant moves, on the part of the band, to make this guitar intro so memorable was to not just play it twice, but to isolate it with pauses between each of the two times it is played before the third time when the drums and Ian Anderson's vocal starts. They do almost the same thing at the end of the song, to further get it stuck in your head.

15. "Funk 49#" - The James Gang: The previous years "Funk 48#" was good, but "Funk 49#" was better. It has went on to become a favorite. One of Joe Walsh's early masterpiece guitar riffs.

16. "Stay With Me" - The Faces: During the early 70s, Ron Wood created some great guitar intros for The Faces, but this is the one that has stood the test of time. A bluesy riff that the kicks into high gear, then slows into a rollicking bluesy stroll. No wonder the Rolling Stones ask him to join.

17. "Can't You Hear Me Knocking" - The Rolling Stones: Speaking of the Rolling Stones, you have to include them on a list of great guitar intros, however, they didn't seem to create elaborate, signature guitar intros in the 70s. They had already set the standard in the 60s with "Satisfaction," "Jumping Jack Flash," and the "The Last Time." They gave us one of the great guitar intros of the 80s with "Start Me Up." This one is not just a great guitar intro but a great guitar finish. Keith Richards starts it off with nasty blues riff in an odd key that turns into a jam when joined by Charlie Watts drums. It ends with a psychedelic smooth jazz jam with guitarist Mick Taylor and saxophonist Bobbie Keys.

18. "Do Yo Feel Like We Do" - Peter Frampton: This intro is perfect for a song about waking up confused. It has a slow, groggy, fuzztone scale, that is then matched note for note by a electric piano. I know it is considered blasphemous to some people, but I prefer the original version from the Framptom's Camel LP to the version on Framptom Comes Alive, because the sound is crisper, it is shorter and he doesn't do that annoying talk box thing in it.

19. "Beautiful Girls" - Van Halen: Eddie Van Halen packed a wild party filled with bikini clad girls into this guitar intro.

20. "Panic In Detroit" - David Bowie: There are several of great guitar intros from Mick Ronson on David Bowie's hits. This one is not only is it underrated, but it is so tight and and so forceful, it punctuates Bowie's William Burroughs inspired, dystopian lyrics.

21. "Reelin In the Years" - Steely Dan: They were more of a keyboard band, but this guitar intro is a classic.

22. "Woodstock" - Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young: Stephen Stills guitar intro made this one the most successful version of this rock anthem.

23. "Do Ya" - The Move/Electric Light Orchestra: This is kind of a tie, but then again The Move morphed into ELO.

24. "Jane" - Jefferson Starship: This one was one of two great guitar intros to close out the 70s. Craig Chaquico starts off with a light, spacey sound before turning out a chainsaw like riff that builds up to a sudden stop in the middle of the song, followed by one of the great guitar solos of the 70s.

25. "Driver's Seat" - Sniff N The Tears: This is the other great guitar intro that closed out the 70s. It begins with a rather intense sounding acoustic guitar part that is then joined by a fuzz guitar riff. Together it works into a great underrated open for a British New Wave one-hit wonder.

Honorable Mentions: "20th Century Boy" -T. Rex, "Stone Cold Fever" - Humble Pie, "Thunderbuck Ram" - Mott The Hoople, "Calling Dr. Love" - Kiss, "Man on the Silver Mountain" - Rainbow, "That Smell" - Lynard Skynard, "The Seeker" - The Who, "That Lady" - The Isley Brothers and "Don't Look Back" - Boston.

                   

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Blue Oyster Cult keyboardist Allen Lanier dead at 67

Blue Oyster Cult keyboardist Allen Lanier dead at 67

I felt I should post an obit for Mr. Lanier, since the name and original concept for "Desdinova the Super Villain of the Ozarks" comes from the Desdinova songs recorded by Blue Oyster Cult.

Friday, August 2, 2013

THE CRY BABY'S TURN - GREAT WAH-WAH GUITAR MOMENTS

Last week, I gave you a list of fuzztone guitar hits. Since I believe in fairness and diversity (I know that is a dirty word here in Springfield, Mo, but that is why like to use it), I thought I would give the wah-wah pedal the same treatment. The title of this post comes from the fact that "Cry Baby" is the name of a popular brand of wah-wah pedal.

A quick history of wah-wah pedal: It was inspired by trumpeter Clyde McCoy's hit "Sugar Blues." An extra bit of 3-degree-separation-type trivia, "Sugar Blues" was written by jazz musician Clarence Williams, who was the grandfather of actor Clarence Williams III of The Mod Squad. Clarence Williams III played Prince's father in Purple Rain and Prince's hit "Kiss" is included on this list.

As with fuzztone, some of the early wah-wah experiments were performed by Chet Adkins in country music.The first wah-wah pedal was marketed in 1966. A short time later, Clyde McCoy endorsed a brand of wah-wah pedal with his name (and face) on it, since he was the inspiration for the wah-wah sound. The "Cry Baby" came around a short time later.

I was surprised to find out some things about wah-wah guitar. Unlike fuzztone, wah-wah is not been as prevalent in music as the fuzztone guitar. Fuzztone has been used on rhythm guitar and on bass guitar, so it has been worked into many songs since it was popularized by the Rolling Stones on "Satisfaction."

While an out growth of the psychedelic and progressive rock of the 60s, wah-wah has been most prominent in funk and disco, as well as, movie and TV scores of the 70s. Of those, genres the wah-wah appears in detective/cop shows, Black-exploitation films and X-rated adult movies.

I also found a difference, compared to fuzztone, when people listed the best or greatest wah-wah. There was no similarities or agreement on list of "great moments" in fuzztone guitar, but there seemed to be almost universal agreement on the "greatest moments in wah-wah guitar." The top five on all of these list had Jimi Hendrix at number one with "Voodoo Chile (Slight Return)," Cream was at number two with "White Room" and rounding out the rest of the top five would be (different orders on different list) "Sweet Child O'Mine" by Guns N Roses, "Theme From Shaft" by Issac Hayes and "Enter the Sandman" by Metallica.

So here is some of the great moments in wah-wah guitar.

"Voodoo Chile (Slight Return)" - Jimi Hendrix Experience
"White Room" - Cream
"Sweet Child O'Mine" - Guns N Roses
"Theme from Shaft" - Issac Hayes
"Enter the Sandman" - Metallica
"Stand" - R.E.M.
"Electric Funeral" - Black Sabbath
"Kiss" - Prince & the Revolution
"1969" - the Stooges
"25 or 6 to 4" - Chicago
"Peace Frog" - The Doors
"Papa Was a Rolling Stone" - The Temptations
"Walk Away" - James Gang
"Tell Me Something Good" - Rufus
"Crimson and Clover" (LP version) - Tommy James & the Shondells
"My Home is in Alabama" - Alabama
"Night Fever" - Bee Gees
"Free Ride" - Edgar Winter Group
"Children of the Sun" - Billy Thorpe
"Show Me the Way" - Peter Frampton
"1976" - Redd Kross
"Rubber Bullets" - 10CC
"Play That Funky Music" - Wild Cherry
"We're an American Band' - Grand Funk Railroad
"Theme of Foxy Brown" - Willie Hutch
"Pictures of Matchstick Men" - Status Quo
"Theme from S.W.A.T" - Rhythm Heritage
"1984" - David Bowie
"Back To the River" - Damnation of Adam Blessing
"Hope You're Feeling Better" - Santana
"No Opportunity Nessesary, No Experience Needed" - Yes
"Strawberry Letter 23" - Brothers Johnson
"Brick House" - The Commodors
"Your Mama Don't Dance" - Loggins & Messina
"Mama Can't Buy You Love" - Elton John
"Smiling Faces Sometimes" - The Undisputed Truth
"If Loving You Is Wrong (I Don't Want To Be Right)" - Luther Ingram
"Well All Right" - Blind Faith
"That Lady" - Isley Brothers
"Hot N Nasty" - Humble Pie
"I Just Want to Celebrate" - Rare Earth
"Spiders & Snakes" - Jim Stafford
"For The Love of Money" - O'Jays 

Sunday, July 28, 2013

YOUR DAILY ALLOWANCE OF FUZZTONE GUITAR

Recently, I was watching commercials from the 80s and 90s on You Tube. They reminded me of something I forgot about from that era: the obsession with bran. Every cereal boasted "Your daily allowance of bran."

At the time, I was one of the student DJs on the "Midnight Snack" on KSMU-FM. I would say, "Have you gotten your daily allowance of fuzztone guitar?"

A little quick trivia before I give you an Ipod playlist of "Your daily allowance of fuzztone guitar."
While it is commonly associated with psychedelia and heavy metal, fuzztone was created by accident by COUNTRY MUSIC PEOPLE IN NASHVILLE. Something was not hooked up right during the recording of Marty Robbins "Don't Worry." Not long after that, Chet Adkins decided to create his own version on a record for Ann Margaret called "I Just Don't Understand."

The Ventures then contacted Red Rhodes, who worked on the Marty Robbins hit about recreating that sound for an instrumental called "The 200 Pound Bee." Rhodes worked out the first pedal for fuzztone. They went on the market in 1962, but didn't sell well because the admen decided to market the fuzztone pedal as a device to make a guitar sound like a violin or horn.

The next year, Keith Richards used it on a Rolling Stones song called "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction." From that moment on, fuzztone was a major part of rock and roll.

Here is a daily dose of fuzztone guitar for you readers. Note: this is not a "best" or "greatest" list. Don't argue with this list. It is a prescription; a health dose of fuzz tone guitar to make you feel better. I may prescribe another dose latter.  

"(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction" - The Rolling Stones
"Pushin Too Hard" - The Seeds
"To Die Alone" - The Bush
"Talk Talk" - The Music Machine
"Spirit In The Sky" - Norman Greenbaum
"She's Fallen In Love With a Monster Man" - Screaming Lord Sutch
"I Can See For Miles" - The Who
"I Heard Her Call My Name" - Velvet Underground
"I Can Only Give You Everything" - The Troggs
"Blue's Theme (From Wild Angels)" - Dave Allen & the Arrows
"House of the Rising Sun" - Fryjid Pink
"Your Auntie Grizelda" - The Monkees
"Heart Full of Soul" - The Yardbirds
"Bad Little Woman" - Shadows of Knight
"Addicted To Love" - Robert Palmer
"When Doves Cry" - Prince & the Revolution
"The Nile Song" - Pink Floyd
"Cowgirl In The Sand" - Neil Young and Crazy Horse
"Deflecting Grey" - The Pretty Things
"Money For Nothing" - Dire Straits
"I Take What I Want" - James & Bobby Purify
"Beat It" - Michael Jackson
"I'll Make You Pay" - The Shady Daze
"No Fun" - The Stooges
"Whole Lotta Love" - Led Zeppelin
"You Don't Love Me" - Kaleidoscope
"Foxy Lady" - Jimi Hendrix Experience
"No Time" - The Guess Who
"Think For Yourself" - The Beatles
"San Francisco Girls (Return To The Native)" - Fever Tree
"A Girl Like You" - Edwyn Collins
"Shadows" - The Electric Prunes
"Hurdy Gurdy Man' - Donovan
"Paranoid" Black Sabbath
"Smoke On the Water" - Deep Purple
"Bluebird" - Buffalo Springfield
"Who Is Gonna Mow Your Grass" - Buck Owens


Monday, March 25, 2013

HEAVY METAL IPOD PLAYLIST 3: HAIR BANDS AND 80s HITS

In the early 80s in Los Angeles, there were two kinds of rock bands that were in abundance. One was the power pop band and the other was the glam/heavy metal band. Power pop bands were influenced by the 60s British Invasion and garage bands and wore matching suits with the fashionable skinny ties. The glam/metal bands were influenced by 70s glam and metal and dressed in a mix of spandex and leather, topped off with makeup and long hair. Bar owners began refering to the groups as either the "skinny tie" bands or "hair" bands.

Music listeners and even the press didn't use these terms until sometime in the late 90s, when 80s nostalgia started come into vogue. I will eventually create a "skinny tie" power pop playlist, but since I've been on a heavy metal kick for the past few playlist, lets look at the "hair" bands.

Many people have commented that the difference between hair bands and old school metal bands was the hair bands had huge followings among girls and young single women (Mothers, of course, hated these bands). Each band had its "power ballad" - a slow, mushy love song that made girls sigh (Truth is the British Invasion bands may have invented the power ballad. i.e: "Yesterday," "As Tears Go By," and "Because") and the fact that hair bands smiled and were more photogenic, which was important during the heyday of MTV.

Not all of this will be what you would call "Hair band" metal, some are 80s hits by bands left over from the 70s. Radio would later stop calling these groups "heavy metal" and call this "classic rock," to appeal to white Baby Boomer men going through a mid-life crisis. I have even included a few songs from the 70s that influenced the "hair" band sound. So, crank it loud to offend your mom.

"So Young, So Bad - Starz
"Action" - Sweet
"Cum On Feel The Noize" - Quiet Riot
"Round and Round" - Ratt
"You Give Love a Bad Name" - Bon Jovi
"Talk Dirty To Me" - Poison
"Kickstart My Heart" - Motley Crue
"Fantasy" - Aldo Nova
"Rock in America" - Night Ranger
"Dance The Night Away" - Van Halen
"Sweet Child O'Mine" - Guns N Roses
"Rock You Like a Hurricane" - The Scorpions
"Seventeen" - Winger
"18 & Life" - Skid Row
"New Girl Now" - Honeymoon Suite
"We're Not Gonna Take It" - Twisted Sister
"Up All Night" - Slaughter
"In My Dreams" - Dokken
"Shake Me" - Cinderella
"Poison" - Alice Cooper
"She's A Beauty" - The Tubes
"Legs" - ZZ Top
 "Saulsolito Summernight" - Diesel
"Take It On the Run" - REO Speedwagon
"Don't Stop Believing" - Journey
"Heaven's On Fire" - Kiss
"Livin After Midnight" - Judas Priest
"Love In an Elevator" - Aerosmith
"Sign of the Gypsy Queen" - April Wine
"Going Crazy" - David Lee Roth
"Summertime Girls" - Y & T
"Cherry Pie" - Warrant
"Edge of a Broken Heart - Vixen
"7 O'Clock" - London Quireboys
"Once Bitten, Twice Shy" - Great White
"I Love Rock and Roll" - Joan Jett & the Blackhearts
"When The Heart Rules The Mind" - GTR
"Here I Go Again" - Whitesnake
"Two Steps Ahead" - Box of Frogs
"Wait" - White Lion
"Kiss Me Deadly" - Lita Ford
"Don't Treat Me Bad" - Firehouse
"Love Will Rock You" - Donnie Iris
"Rock & Roll Dreams Come Through" - Jim Steinman
"Back In Black" - AC/DC
"Since You've Been Gone" - Rainbow
"The Hero" - Queen
"The Final Countdown" - Europe
"Heaven Tonight" Yngwie Malmsteen's Rising Force
"To Be With You" - Mr. Big
"Hole Hearted" - Extreme
"Goodbye" - Enuff Z'Nuff
"The Stroke" - Billy Squire
"Lay It On The Line" - Triumph
"Silent Lucidity" - Queensryche
"Run To The Hills" - Iron Maiden
"Working For The Weekend" - Loverboy
"Burning For You" - Blue Oyster Cult
"Power" - Kansas
"Over The Mountain" - Ozzy Osbourne
"Too Much Time On My Hands" - Styx
"Twilight Zone" - Golden Earring
"Knocking At Your Back Door" - Deep Purple



  

Sunday, March 17, 2013

HEAVY METAL IPOD PLAYLIST 2: THE GOLDEN AGE

Ozzy Osbourne once said that, in the Seventies, the press labeled any band with long hair and mustaches "heavy metal." So did some of the record labels. There was a Warner Special Products compilation called Heavy Metal. It featured great hits by Black Sabbath, James Gang, Deep Purple, Led Zeppelin, Alice Cooper, MC5 and Uriah Heep, as well as unusual choices such as Faces, Yes, The Doors, Grateful Dead and J. Geils Band. Along with those were bewildering choices for a heavy metal compilation such as War, Van Morrison, the Eagles, Dr. John and Delany and Bonnie. I'm surprised Bread wasn't on that LP.

As I mentioned last time, younger people may read this playlist and say, "That old timer doesn't know heavy metal." Actually some of my generation probably said the same about these songs.

REMEMBER: Crank these songs up to 11.

Blue Oyster Cult - "Cities On Flame With Rock and Roll"
Van Halen - "Ain't Talkin Bout Love"
Humble Pie - "Stone Cold Fever"
AC/DC - "Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap"
Bad Company - "Bad Company"
REO Speedwagon - "Ridin the Storm Out"
Bloodrock - "D.O.A"
Frigid Pink - "House of the Rising Sun"
Crabby Appleton - "Go Back"
Kiss - "Rock and Roll All Night"
Grand Funk Railroad - "We're an American Band"
Deep Purple - "Smoke On the Water"
New York Dolls - "Jet Boy"
Jethro Tull - "Aqualung"
Foreigner - "Dirty White Boy"
Rush - "Working Man"
Journey - "Any Way You Want It"
Sweet - "Ballroom Blitz"
Queen - "Stone Cold Crazy"
Aerosmith - "Walk This Way"
Led Zeppelin - "Black Dog"
Black Sabbath - "Iron Man"
The Who - "Long Live Rock"
Thin Lizzy - "The Boys Are Back in Town"
Blue Ash - "Dusty Old Fairgrounds"
Alice Cooper - "School's Out"
Dr. Feelgood - "Milk and Alcohol"
Judas Priest - "Rocka Rolla"
Flash - "Small Beginnings"
Ten Year After - "I'd Love To Change The World"
Heart - "Barracuda"
T. Rex - "20th Century Boy"
April Wine - "Oowatanite"
ZZ Top - "Tush"
Rainbow - "Long Live Rock and Roll"
Mott the Hoople - "Rock and Roll Queen"
Bachman Turner Overdrive - "Takin Care of Business"
Trooper - "Raise a Little Hell"
Styx - "Miss America"
Foghat - "Slow Ride"
Rare Earth - "I Just Want to Celebrate"
Pere Ubu - "Final Solution"
Golden Earing - "Radar Love"
Uriah Heep - "Look At Your Self"
James Gang - "Walk Away"
Head East - "Never Been Any Reason"

BONUS TRIVIA: The adult, sci-fi comic book Heavy Metal began in France as Metal Hurlant.

 

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Ten Years After singer Alvin Lee has died at 68

Ten Years After singer Alvin Lee has died at 68

One of my all time favorite songs is "I'd Love To Change the World." 

HEAVY METAL IPOD PLAYLIST 1: EVOLUTION


I promised a heavy metal playlist and I deliver. Even though I made a disco playlist last time, my heart will always be with heavy metal. I was a huge fan of the "hair bands" of the 80s, as were many people in my age group. However, I was a hardcore headbanger and wanted to learn the history of heavy metal. I wanted to go back to the beginning of the genre and experience it to the fullest.

So let us go back to the prehistoric days of heavy metal as it evolved into one the greatest rock and roll genres ever. Turn on your black lights and lava lamps, stare at you posters on Barnabas Collins and Raquel Welch, read some Lovecraft and Vonnegut and contemplate taking down Tricky Dicky while you listen to these early metal tracks.

NOTE TO YOUNGER READERS: The definition of what qualifies as heavy metal has changed over the years. These songs were a one time considered heavy metal by rock music journalist and historians.  Don't try to argue with me on this.

"Wild Thing" - The Troggs
"I Can Only Give You Everything" - Them
"Shapes of Things" - The Yardbirds
"Come See Me" - The Pretty Things
"All of the Day, All of the Night" - The Kinks
"Talk Talk" - The Music Machine
"I Had Too Much To Dream" Electric Prunes
"We Ain't Got Nothing Yet" - The Blues Magoos
"Pushing Too Hard" - The Seeds
"Summertime Blues" - The Blue Cheer
"Fire" - Jimi Hendrix Experience
"My Fire Department Needs a Fireman" - The Shadows of Night
"You Keep Me Hanging On" - Vanilla Fudge
"Beacon From Mars" - Kaleidoscope
"White Room" - Cream
"I Can See For Miles" - The Who
"Pride of Man" - Quicksilver Messenger Service
"Oz Lee Eaves Drops" - The Other Half
"Beck's Bolero" - Jeff Beck Group
"No Fun" - The Stooges
"Kick Out the James" - MC5
"Man of the World" - Fleetwood Mac
"Dark Eyed Woman" - Spirit
"Evil Woman (Don't Play No Games)" - Black Sabbath
"In A Gadda Da Vida" - Iron Butterfly
"Born To Be Wild" - Steppenwolf
"How Many More Times" - Led Zeppelin
"Hush" - Deep Purple
"Into The Sun" - Grand Funk Railroad
"Song for Jeffrey" - Jethro Tull
"Did You See Her Eyes" - Illusion
"Funk 49" - James Gang
"Prodigal Son" - The Amboy Dukes
"No Time" - The Guess Who
"I Heard Her Call My Name" - The Velvet Underground
"I'm Going Home" - Ten Years After
"Nightmare" - Elias Hulk
"Gypsy Part 1" - Gypsy
"Back To The River" - The Damnation of the Adam Blessing
"I Don't Need No Doctor" - Humble Pie
 

Monday, February 4, 2013

The Troggs frontman Reg Presley dies at 71

Reg Presley is seated in the middle.
The Troggs frontman Reg Presley dies at 71

In the mid-70s, The Troggs released an LP called The Troggs Tapes. It contained some rather off-color and some what abusive studio banter between band Presely and the other band members. Most of it involved at word that started with "F."

Not long afterward, a longtime NBC employee retired from the Standards and Practices division. As a send off, the cast of Saturday Night Live performed a sketch that poked fun at the Troggs Tapes. The characters were Medieval Traveling Minstrels, who used the phrases "flogging" and "flogger." The retiring NBC employee loved it.

Saturday, December 22, 2012

Iron Butterfly bassist died of natural causes

St. Louis native Lee Dorman is second from the right.
Iron Butterfly bassist died of natural causes - KansasCity.com

On the old blog, I once said that when I took over America and became emperor, I was going to change the national anthem from the "Star Spangle Banner" to "In A Gadda Da Vida."  You would be surprised how many people thought this would be a cool idea. Of course, I had about two people said they didn't want "In A Gadda Da Vida" nor did they want me to be emperor. Probably some of those stupid KSGF listeners.

Friday, September 21, 2012

I AM NOT ASHAMED PLAYLIST 4

I thought it was time for another Guilty Pleasures I AM NOT ASHAMED playlist.

"Cars" Gary Numan
"Wild Is the Wind" David Bowie
"Trouble' Lyndsey Buckingham
"Christo Redentor" Harvey Mandel (Sounds like make-out music for Captain Kirk)
"Juicy Fruit" Mtume
"Special Lady" Ray, Goodman & Brown (KLWT-FM 92 in Lebanon played this everyday at 4:05 p.m. You could set your watch by the automation)
"South Side" Moby with Gwen Stefani
"The Letter" The Arbors (Neat cover by a prog-sunshine pop)
"Raspberry Beret" Prince & the Revolution
"Iesha" Another Bad Creation
"Voo Doo Walk" Sonny Richard's Panics with Cindy and Misty (Go-go dancing singers doing a song about monster - What is there not to like about this?)
"Now To You" The David
"Who Do You Think You Are?" Candlewick Green (Original British version of the Bo Donaldson & the Haywoods hit)
"Do You Want To Dance?" Bette Midler (Sexiest cover version of this song ever)
"Theme from Dark Shadows" Bob Cobert Orchestra (The 45 single easy listening version with a great piano player)
"Down By The Station" The Four Preps (Children's song turned into a song about a being a player)
"Dancing Bear" The Mamas & The Papas
"Sugar Sugar" The Archies
"What Goes Around Comes Around" Justin Timberlake
"Easy Come, Easy Go" Winger
"Mona Lisa Lost Her Smile" David Allen Coe
"Signs" Five Man Electrical Band
"Who Is Gonna Mow Your Grass" Buck Owens & the Buckaroos (One of the best fuzztone guitar parts ever in a country song)
"Isn't It Time" The Babys
"Heat of the Moment" Asia
"Too Shy" Kajagoogoo
"Master Jack" Four Jacks & a Jill
"No Reply At All" Genesis
"Guilty" Barbara Streisand & Barry Gibb
"Never My Love" The Association
"Fantasy" Aldo Nova 
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...