GIRLS IN LONG SKIRTS IN GOOFY MUSIC VIDEOS

I love music videos of the past. These are from 1978-79, around the same time as the Seventeen magazine article in my last post. These two goofy videos feature girls in long skirts. One is the Finish duo Danny & Armi, in what some people call the worst music video ever. The song is called "I Wanna Love You Tender." The other is the British pop band Racey "Lay a Little Love On Me." Since Retrospace has Mini Skirt Monday, I guess I can do Long Skirt Monday.





BORING BACK TO SCHOOL CLOTHES THAT PHOEBE CATES CAN'T EVEN MAKE SEXY

A few years ago, I was attempting to create a satirical/Sci-Fi comic strip. I wanted the women to dress in late 70s & early 80s fashions, since most of the Sci-Fi adventures shows I watched as a kid, such as Battlestar Galactica, Buck Rogers, Jason of Star Command and Doctor Who, were produced in the late 70s & early 80s. Even if story took place in the future, the women seem to be wearing disco/new wave/roller boogie fashions. In doing research, I purchased several late 70s & early 80s fashion magazines off Ebay. I'm finding them handy for the revamped version of this blog.

I blogged earlier this year about how women's clothes were not as colorful as they were in the early 80s. I found that one of these magazines was an August 1979 "Back to School" issue of Seventeen. I thought that since I hadn't post much lately I could at least post the back to school pics for the ladies that read this blog to reminisce.

Much to my dismay I discovered that the back to school clothes for girls in 1979 were drab and boring. This seemed to be the start of that horrible preppy phase that plagued my generation. Most of the clothes were brown tweed. The emphasis was on sweaters, long skirts and knee socks. Also little tams and knit caps were the must have accessory. This is what all the little, rich snooty girls wore. Who picked these clothes to be the "popular" back to school clothes? PROBABLY SOMEONE'S MOMMY!!!

Okay, this might look better if it was worn by a girl with a butt.

One reason I chose to post these pictures was that one of the models is Phoebe Cates, who was so sexy in Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Private School, Gremlins and the TV mini-series Lace. In these clothes, she isn't sexy enough to for Judge Reinhold to "fantasize about."

The editor's of Seventeen may have considered these back to school clothes "HOT," but the only thing that makes them "HOT" is that wearing all those sweaters and tweeds will make a girl sweat like a pig. Hope they wore a whole bottle of Heaven Scent, because Desdinova didn't like it when cute girls smelled bad.

HAPPY 30th BIRTHDAY MTV!!!

This week MTV celebrates its 30 anniversary this week. Here is a Rolling Stone article about the original VJs. Some idiots here in the Ozarks hate MTV, because they feel it has had a negative effect on American youth. I'm not one of them. I feel that Fox News has had a much more negative effect on our country than MTV has. I also believe that parents who have MTV blocked on their cable systems should have their children taken away from them.
Of course, opinions, like these, are why I'm considered the Super Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

THE FART HEARD AROUND THE WORLD ON TV

It may be hard to believe, but even in the late 70s and early 80s, there were things that were considered taboo on commercial TV. Many taboos were broken by All In the Family and Saturday Night Live. Flatulence was not a subject dealt with on TV in those days.

What broke that taboo could be considered the first "viral" video or "meme." On the Tonight Show, Johnny Carson liked to show Cleo Award winner from all over the world. One got a big response. It was for Shiseido Olive Bath Soap. It featured several small naked boys bathing together, accompanied by military marching music. The commercial ends with one of the boys passing gas in the bath water and the other boys moving way from him.

It was shown several times during the mid 70s on the Tonight Show. Then in the early 80s, it was shown in prime time on both a Tonight Show anniversary special and a Steve Martin TV special. Then it was shown on a commercial retrospective TV special hosted by Ed McMahon. For a brief period in the late 70s and early 80s, this Japanese soap commercial was everywhere you turned on TV. Then it was gone. Surprisingly it was hard too find on You Tube until now.

CAPTAIN AMERICA Cartoon Intro

DOES THE STATE OF MISSOURI HATE DOC SAVAGE???

Like many guys my age, I became enthralled with the adventures of Doc Savage, through the paperback reprints of the 60s, 70s and 80s. I was delighted a few years back to find that these thrilling stories were written by a man from La Plata, Missouri named Lester Dent. He used the pen name of Kenneth Robeson. The super strong, gadgeteer Doc Savage and his five assistants paved the way for such heroes as Indiana Jones, James Bond, Superman, Batman, the Fantastic Four and Johnny Quest.

So why does the state of Missouri rarely acknowledge Lester Dent and Doc Savage? Why do they spend money time and money promoting about Laura Ingles Wilder, who was born in Wisconsin?

I have found very few articles about Lester Dent and Doc Savage in the state’s media. Two good ones I found online are from Rural Missourian and one from an unknown source on the Truman University - Pickler Memorial Library website. However, you can find numerous articles from local newspapers and magazines about Laura Ingles Wilder’s connection to Missouri.

I will admit up-front, I despise the works of Laura Ingles Wilder. Especially the TV show Little House on the Prairie. This goes back to my horrible, tortured childhood in Lebanon, Missouri. I was often told by the adults in the community that I should watch Little House on the Prairie (and the Waltons) because it was “better for me” than the shows I liked.

That could be one of the reasons that Wilder’s Little House franchise is promoted by the state of Missouri over Dent’ Doc Savage. Wilder’s world is seen as good, old-fashion, wholesome entertainment, whereas Dent’s world is filled with modernism, science fiction/horror, and excitement, which is frowned upon by many in Missouri (especially in the Ozarks). Although, it should be noted that Dent always maintained that Doc Savage had “Christlike” qualities.

The Little House books talk about the world so many in the Missouri want to embrace. They want to keep Missouri a world of one room schoolhouses, church dinners and barn raisings. Even in the Great Depression, Doc Savage had television, jet planes and a telephone answering machine. Doc Savage had at his disposal the things we take for granted.

Part of the reason Doc Savage isn’t mentioned as much is Doc Savage has only been successful in the publishing world of paperback novels, comic books and magazines. He had a short lived radio show in the 30s and one on NPR in the 80s. He also had one movie, Doc Savage - Man of Bronze, in 1975. It stared TV Tarzan Ron Ely and Paul Gleason (later in the Breakfast Club). I seem to be the only person who liked this movie. There wasn’t a sequel.

Of course, Little House on the Prairie ran from the mid 70s through the 80s on NBC. Every week the Ingles family suffered one hard ship after another. That long running TV series, whether I like it or not, gives Wilder more publicity worldwide than Dent and Doc Savage has gotten.

Finally, the state of Missouri may prefer Wilder because her stories frequently took place in Missouri, where Dent sent Doc Savage and his five pals off on adventures around the world. Doc Savage also lived in a penthouse in New York.
Needless to say, I would still like to see Lester Dent and Doc Savage recognized more by the state of Missouri. The state of Missouri should be ashamed for ignoring Lester Dent’s contribution to the literary world and pop culture. Maybe some of our state officials should stop trying to block the President’s health care reform and give Lester Dent and Doc Savage their due.

Of course, opinions, like this one, explains why I’m called the Super Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

HOW TO WRITE ONE OF THE CURRENT CUT & PASTE COUNTRY SONGS

I hate when some doofus jumps my songs on the juke box at Buffalo Wild Wings. I especially hate when they jump my great classic rock/punk/funk picks for current country. The current state of country music is so bad. Most of the songs have a cut and paste quality to them.

What am I talking about? Most current country songs follow a pattern in the lyrics. When I worked in country music radio in the 90s, the songs each sounded different. The current country song crop all have lyrics that sound alike.

I have come up with a cut and paste method for writing a current country song.

First, you start off saying that you grew up on a dirt road.
Second, you mention your grandparents.
Third, mention going to church.
Forth, talk about drinking beer.
Fifth, mention listening to Hank Jr., Johnny Cash, Jimmy Buffett or Lynard Skynard or all of them.
Sixth, mention the mail box at the end of the dirt road you grew up on.
Seventh, mention blue jeans or cutoff jeans being worn by a girl.
Eighth, slam New York or Hollywood or both.
Ninth, compare your love for a woman to Johnny Cash and June Carter.
Tenth, mention that you salute the veterans and troop serving in the military.
Eleventh, mention drinking beer again.
Twelfth, mention listening to Hank Jr., Johnny Cash, Jimmy Buffett, or Lynard Skynard or all of them.
Thirteenth, mention driving your pickup down a dirt road.
Fourteenth, mention drinking beer again.
Fifteenth, mention going to church again.
Sixteenth, mention listening to Hank Jr, Johnny Cash, Jimmy Buffett, or Lynard Skynard or all of them again.
Seventh, mention the troops and church or both again.

There you go. You now have a current hit country song.