"The Future Mrs. Desdinova," Paris Hilton |
In the sixth grade, I had a rotten teacher. He told the class that they didn't have to give a Valentine to any they didn't like. That year I only received five Valentines from a class of twenty-one kids (That teacher is running for a position on the Lebanon city council. I'd rather vote for this guy, who is running against him. He seems more reputable).
The "second" Eunice Moneymaker |
First time I outed was after I made this post on the old blog about my junior high/high school crush, Eunice Moneymaker. A person calling himself "Rod Hance" was planning to e-mail the post to her. He also posted my real name on a local message board. The main reaction was "Who?" and "That makes sense. What is your point?" This "Rod Hance" guy was really a "Bubba" I went to junior high/high school with in Lebanon. His father was a local politician I was poking fun back then.
After that I stopped using a photo of the real Eunice Moneymaker and began using the photo above, which is from a 1950's yearbook (I have no idea who that girl is but she sure is cute - and now in her 70s). I will say that the original photo of the real Eunice Moneymaker is among the retro clutter at the top of the page. Oddly enough, someone at one point asked if that was a photo of Paris Hilton in middle school, because I had a running joke on the old blog that I planned to marry Paris Hilton (This is also what caused a local right-wing blogger to write a long tirade about how he thought Sarah Palin was more beautiful than Paris Hilton - Get a life!). After that I noticed that Eunice Moneymaker and Paris Hilton kind of look alike.
Eunice was always embarrassed that I showered her with gifts on Valentine's Day. My love for her received a chilly reception. Old habits die hard and, on Thursday, I wished her a "Happy Valentine's Day" via Facebook and she wished me one back. Time changes things.
In college, I had a similar problem with a girl named Andrea. I found out that Eunice was at least nice to me. This little gal was pretty hateful and told me never to talk to her again. I recently found her on Facebook. She is still single. She also was working for the Romney/Ryan and a huge supporter of Todd Akin, so I now thank God that we didn't get together.
So what is the point to all of this? Well, readers if you haven't guessed, it means that I know the perfect songs for when things don't go right on Valentine's Day (or any other day). I'm not sure if KYTV's Ethan Forhetz has ever compiled a list like this, but it would be interesting to see his picks.
- "Forget You" Cee Lo Green (I like the version with the other word beginning with "F" too)
- "Positively 4th Street" Bob Dylan
- "Love Stinks" J. Geilis Band
- "The Breakup Song (They Don't Write'em Like That Anymore)" Greg Khin Band
- "Somebody That I Used To Know" Gotye
- "The Last Time" The Rolling Stones
- "Goodbye To You" Scandal
- "Find Another Fool" Quarterflash
- "I'm Not Your Stepping Stone" The Monkees/Sex Pistols
- "I Can See For Miles" The Who
- "The Rain" Oran Juice Jones ("You're a squirrel looking for a nut")
- "Since You've Been Gone" Rainbow
- "I'll Feel a Whole Lot Better" The Byrds
- "Chain of Fools" Aretha Franklin
- "Is It True?" Brenda Lee (Not the typical weepy Brenda Lee song-Jimmy Page is playing guitar)
- "Piece of My Heart" Big Brother & the Holding Company
- "Don't Bother Me" The Beatles
- "Laugh Laugh" The Beau Brumells
- "Blood & Roses" The Smithereens
- "The First Cut is the Deepest" Cat Stevens/Rod Stewart/Sheryl Crow/P.P. Arnold/The Koobas
- "We Don't Talk Anymore" Cliff Richard
- "Fool (If You Think It Is Over)" Chris Rea
- "Its Too Late" Carole King
- "How Can You Mend a Broken Heart" Bee Gees
- "You Won't See Me" The Beatles
- "Walk On By" Dionne Warwick/The Stranglers (Some relationships end so bad, you need the Stranglers version)
- "I Am a Rock" Simon & Garfunkel/The Church (Same here for the Church version)
- "Tainted Love/Where Did Our Love Go?" Soft Cell
- "It's All Over Now" The Rolling Stones
- "The Smile Has Left Your Eyes" Asia
- "Any Way The Wind Blows" Frank Zappa & The Mothers of Invention (The version on Freak Out)
- "I've Got To Use My Imagination" Gladys Knight & The Pips
- "Ever Fallen In Love?" The Buzzcocks
- "Do You Really Want To Hurt Me?" The Culture Club
- "Bad Time" Grand Funk Railroad
- "The Salt In My Tears" Martin Briley
- "Already Gone" The Eagles
- "Go Your Own Way" Fleetwood Mac
- "I've Found Someone of My Own" The Free Movement
- "You Keep Me Hanging On" Vanilla Fudge
- "You're No Good" Linda Ronstadt
- "Vicious" Lou Reed
- "These Eyes" Guess Who
- "I Hate Myself For Loving You" Joan Jett & the Blackhearts
- "One More Minute" Weird Al Yankovich
- "Kind of a Drag" The Buckinghams
- "It Hurts To Be In Love" Gene Pitney
- "We Just Disagree" Dave Mason
- "Bringing On a Heartbreak" Def Leppard
- "Liar" Three Dog Night
- "Sail On" The Commodores
- "Suspicious Minds" Elvis Presley
- "Two Out of Three Ain't Bad" Meat Loaf
- "Don't Do Me Like That" Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers
- "What Have I Done To Deserve This" Pet Shop Boys & Dusty Springfield
- "You Didn't Have to Be So Nice" The Loving Spoonful
- "She Don't Know Why I'm Here" the Last
- "Heart Full of Soul" The Yardbirds
- "Where Were You When I Needed You" The Grass Roots
- "Who's Crying Now" Journey
- "She's Not There" The Zombies
- "Didn't I (Blow Your Mind This Time)" The Delfonics
- "You're Gonna Miss Me Baby" 13th Floor Elevator
- "I'm Not In Love' 10CC
- "Day After Day" Badfinger
- "Cold As Ice" Foreigner
- "Misunderstanding" Genesis
- "Can't Stand Losing You" The Police
- "Out of Time' the Rolling Stones
- "Take It On the Run" REO Speedwagon
- "96 Tears" Question Mark and The Mysterians
- "I Ain't Gonna Eat My Heart Anymore" The Rascals
- "Poor Side of Town" Johnny Rivers
- "Something I've Got To Tell You" Glenda Collins
- "Things I'd Like To Say" New Colony Six
- "I Can't Stop Loving You" Ray Charles
- "Lies" The Knickerbockers
- "I'm Crying" The Animals
- "I Count the Tears" The Drifters
- "I Know a Heartache When I See One" Jennifer Warnes
- "I'm Sick of You" Iggy & the Stooges
- "Without You" Harry Nilsson
- "Diamonds and Rust" Joan Baez
- "New Day Yesterday" Jethro Tull
- "How Many More Time" Led Zeppelin
- "Most Likely You Go Your Way (And I'll Go Mine)" Bob Dylan
- "I'll Cry Instead" The Beatles
- "Runaway" Del Shannon
- "Since You're Gone" The Cars
- "Ain't That a Shame" Fats Domino/Cheap Trick
- "I Wonder What She's Doing Tonight" Boyce & Hart
- "Go Now" Moody Blues
- "The Crying Game" Boy George
- "Who's Sorry Now" Connie Francis
- "Changes" Black Sabbath
- "Go Back" Crabby Appleton
- "I'm Down" The Beatles
- "I'm a Fool" Desi, Dino & Billy
- "I Remember You" Skid Row
- "Every Rose Has a Thorn" Poison
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