KGBX AM COMMERCIAL FROM 1983

This is a commercial for Springfield, Missouri radio station KGBX from 1983. At that time the radio station was on AM. They are now at 105.9 FM. I remembered this commercial after watching it again for one single image: the baby with headphones on and James Taylor's "Your Smiling Face" playing in the background. The only thing that could have made this commercial more exciting would have been Deborah Shelton.

SECRET LOVE - MOST ANNOYING RECORD COMMERCIAL EVER

As a child, I always liked commercials for records. They usually featured bombastic announcers rattling off the names of the songs on the records, a Chyron graphic vertical scroll of the titles of the songs on the record, usually accompanied by photos of the artist or some related photos (i.e. boys and girls dancing at prom or bikers cruising down Route 66. One even featured a NASA rocket launch). Most of these records were offered by a company called Sessions (although they were produced by major companies such as Warner Brothers, RCA or Columbia).

It was around my senior year in high school (Maybe my first year of college - this commercial ran forever) that I saw what I thought was the worst record commercial ever featuring what, at the time, I considered some of the worst songs in the world. The commercial was for a 4 LP, 3 cassette collection called Secret Love. I might be wrong, but I think this is the first TV record ad to offer a compact disc version. I hated this commercial.

First off, it probably aired more than any record commercial in history. It seemed like it was on every commercial break.

Second, this record was loaded with songs I hated. In the commercial there were only two songs that I liked, "Nights In White Satin" by the Moody Blues and "Waiting For a Girl Like You" by Foreigner. However, seeing the complete track listings there were a few others I like ("Dream Weaver" by Gary Wright and "Strange Way" by Firefall). These were those wimpy songs that radio stations here in the Ozarks were beating to death. These were also the songs favored by the snooty popular girls, who wouldn't go out with me. They were also on student council, so they picked the music for the school dances. it was usually this stuff.

Third, had to do with the format of this ad. Unlike the previous records ads that I mentioned above, this ad must have been the first to feature on-screen spokes people or characters. This one featured an ANNOYING PREPPY COUPLE IN CABLE-KNIT SWEATERS SITTING BY A FIREPLACE IN AN UPSCALE HOME.  I could not stand those two people! They were the little goody-goody, overachiever types that were the bane of my existence in high school (I still run in to a few of these people through work). I would see this commercial and ask myself, "What does that beautiful girl see in that preppy dork???" Notice: The clothes are the same as on the record cover above, but different model/actors.



At the time this aired, I was into mainly heavy metal (hair bands), college rock (alternative and punk to young folks) and classic rock/oldies. I thought it would be great if they made a set of the music I liked. There wasn't a metal or college rock set, but there was a classic rock/oldies set with great songs on it entitled Freedom Rock. Unfortunately, the commercial featured two idiots dressed as hippies sitting by a VW Micro-bus doing a bad Cheech & Chong imitation.

While I still dislike preppies, I have come to accept and even enjoy old soft/light rock of the 70s and 80s. As a matter of fact, readers of this blog may remember that I have proposed a revamped version of the soft/light AC/rock radio format that removes the "Little Miss Pris-Delilah-Mommy Blogger" attitude that made these radio station unbearable to listen to since the early 90s. The music and romantic or mellow mood would be the focus, instead of discussions about "soda-being-bad-for-you" or "girls-wear-too-sexy-dresses-to-prom." As Gilligan at Retrospace would say, it would be "Music for making pancakes."

Maybe in some crazy way, the Secret Love commercial spawned that idea, because "This music brings out the animal in people."   

      

Legendary Producer Phil Ramone Passes | AllAccess.com

Legendary Producer Phil Ramone Passes | AllAccess.com

DESDINOVA'S CAMPY 70s HIT PLAYLIST

Yes, once again I'm going to swipe and idea from KYTV newsman Ethan Forhetz. His E-List from last week was about 70s One Hit Wonders.  I kind of wanted to make my own list, however, as I've mentioned before, the term "one-hit wonder" can be open to interpretation. Also I thought about those songs that give you that "only in the 70s" feel, but either were not big hits or were hits from artist who had several hits. Before there is an outcry from fans or haters, let me say some of this is a mix of 'so bad it's good" and things that are great songs, but their style and content scream 70s. As usual, I went overboard on listing songs. I hope that this list could be used as the perfect soundtrack for a 70s party.

"I Am Pegasus" Ross Ryan (I list this obscure 70s hit first because of its opening line has to be one of the goofiest lines of the 70s "I am Pegasus, my name means horse.")
"Kung Fu Fighting" Carl Douglas
"Afternoon Delight" Starland Vocal Band
"Cover of the Rolling Stone" Dr. Hook
"Seasons In The Sun" Terry Jacks
"Heartbeat-It's a Love Beat" The DeFranco Family
"Chevy Van" Sammy Johns
"I Think I Love You" The Partridge Family
"Ride Captain Ride" The Blues Image (The 70s had several "nautical" related songs.)
"Torn Between Two Lovers" Mary MacGregor
"Nice To Be With You" Gallery
"Dancing In the Moonlight" King Harvest
"Fernando" ABBA
"Fly Robin Fly" The Silver Connection
"How Do You Do" Mouth & MacNeal (You got to see this clip of them sing this on a TV show.)
"I Am I Said" Neil Diamond (Runs second to "I Am Pegasus" for the goofy line "And no one heard at all
Not even the chair.")
"Undercover Angel" Alan O Day
"Tie a Yellow Ribbon Around the Old Oak Tree" Tony Orlando & Dawn
"Brandy (You're A Fine Girl)" The Looking Glass (Another nautical/sailor song)
"Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep" Middle of the Road (A goofy song is always better when sung by a sexy blonde in hot pants.)
"Little Willy" The Sweet (The bad that should be considered the fathers of hair metal.)
"Don't Go Breaking My Heart" Elton John & Kiki Dee
"The Night The Lights Went Out In Georgia" Vicki Lawrence (I love how toward the end of the song she starts singing like Mama Harper.)
"Joy To The World" Three Dog Night
 "Rock The Boat" The Hues Corporation
"Night Chicago Died" Paper Lace (Best historically inaccurate song of all-time.)
"I'd Love To Teach The World To Sing" The New Seekers (Best commercial jingle of the 70s-all-time maybe.))
"That Same Old Feeling" Pickettywitch (This received heavy air-play on Top 40, but didn't make the Top 40.)
"Baby I'm-A Want You" Bread
"Top of the World" The Carpenters
"Garden Party" Rick Nelson
"Spanish Stroll" Mink DeVille (This was considered "punk" in the pre-Sex Pistols era. Not sure what it is, but it is a pretty good song.)
"Billy, Don't Be a Hero" Bo Donaldson and the Haywoods
"Rhinestone Cowboy" Glenn Campbell
"Hooked On a Feeling" The Blue Swede (Oooga-chaka-ooga-chaka!)
"Love Grows (Where My Rosemary Goes)" Edison Lighthouse
"Montego Bay" Bobby Bloom
"Midnight Train To Georgia" Gladys Night & The Pips (If you knew the truth everyone sings along with the Pips on the "Woo-woo" part when this song comes on the radio.)
"Ooh Child" The Five Stairsteps
"Sweet City Woman" The Stampeders (One of the few songs with a banjo I can stand.)
"Down By The Lazy River" The Osmonds
"Macho Man" The Village People
"Love Train" The O'Jays
"Moonlight Feels Right" Starbuck (I like this because the lead singer sound kind of sleazy.)
"Arizona" Mark Lindsay
"Sweet Mary" The Wadsworth Mansion
"Loving You" Minnie Ripperton
"Saturday In The Park" Chicago
"Why Can't We Be Friends" War
"Float On" The Floaters (This one feature an unintentional goofy line, "Cancer and my name is Larry.")
"Muskrat Love" The Captain & Tennille
"Brother Louie" The Stories
"Sugar Baby Love" The Rubiettes
"Disco Lady" Johnny Taylor (A big "disco" hit that isn't real disco)
"Smoke From A Distant Fire' Sandford-Townsend Band (One of the greatest one hit wonders of all-time!)
"Come & Get Your Love" Redbone
"Band of Gold" Freda Payne
"Brand New Key" Melaine
"The Rubberband Man" The Spinners
"Easy The Commodores
"It Never Rains In Southern California" Albert Hammond
"Me and You and a Dog Named Boo" Lobo
"Spirit In The Sky" Norman Greenbaum (Fuzztone guitar and Christianity make of good mix.)
"Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves" Cher
"Coconut" Harry Nilsson
"Living Next Door To Alice" Smokie
"Do You Think I'm Sexy?" Rod Stewart (Probably the song by Rod Stewart most people hate-I like it.)
"ABC" The Jackson 5
"Rock Me Gently" Andy Kim (This is one of those songs that was made for Top 40. It still sounds great.)
"Rings" Cymarron
"I Can See Clearly Now" Johnny Nash
"Last Time I Saw Him" Diana Ross
"Bungle In The Jungle" Jethro Tull (Most Jethro Tull songs were deep, dark and philosophical. This is 70s sexy talk.)
"Wigwam" Bob Dylan (In 1965, Dylan went electric. In 1970, Dylan went Trololo on this song.)
"I Am Woman" Helen Reddy
"Squeeze Box" The Who (Only in the 70s and only the Who could pull off a song built around a double entendre about a woman playing an accordion.)
"American Pie" Don McLean (The Greatest Number One hit of the 70s! It sort of sums up the strangeness of the decade.)

I may create a list based on certain genres of 70s music (disco and heavy metal).
 

Bob Welch, Ex-Fleetwood Mac, Dead - Billboard.com

Bob Welch, Ex-Fleetwood Mac, Dead in Apparent Suicide | Billboard.com#/news/bob-welch-ex-fleetwood-mac-dead-in-apparent-1007263952.story#/news/bob-welch-ex-fleetwood-mac-dead-in-apparent-1007263952.story

Interesting side note: I bought a copy of this LP for my KSMU radio show in the late 80s. The owner of the record store I bought it at in Springfield, Missouri, said, "I met that girl on the LP cover. They sent her on a promotional tour when the record was released." To paraphrase the Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons, "Worst record store promotion ever."

REINVENTING LIGHT ADULT CONTEMPORARY RADIO

Adult contemporary radio is one those things about the industry that I have a love hate relationship with. Personally, I prefer the music on adult contemporary over country music radio and talk radio. My problem is the attitude and presentation. I could actually forget and enjoy the beauty of the softer rock/pop music, if it wasn't for the constant reminder that this radio station is programmed to reach an audience made up of uptight, prudish squares and snooty preppie dorks. The liners frequently contain a veiled attack another radio station (that skews to a younger audience) by announcing that they "don't play rap or heavy metal." The liners seem to promote the radio station as a form of white, up-class, middle-school conformity that preaches the values of being "family friendly" and "everyone at work can agree on." The hidden message is "The people who don't like this radio station are child molesters and drug addicts, who live off welfare and worship Satan."

The jingles on these radio stations feature syrupy arrangements with whispery singers. There also has for several years been a trend to have a song for the morning show with a whining male vocalist that sounds like it belongs on a Contemporary Christian station.  

There seems to be a "Little Miss Pris/mommy blogger" nature to many adult contemporary radio stations. Topics discussed by the morning shows and some of the on-air people seem to be about girls prom dresses being "too sexy," what cartoons are "bad" for your child or too much soda is "bad" for you. The rest of the time they promote that the website has photos of "cute kittens." As David Letterman might say, "You can insert your own 'pussy radio station' joke here."

Now there are some newer variations on the AC format coming along, which feature a more younger and hipper music mix. While I welcome this, there needs to be a "light" AC that aims at changing audience, as well as a "Hot AC." Most of the kind of radio stations I'm referring to are "light" AC and are stuck in the 80s and 90s, when the format was big. Most of the music hasn't changed, because that style of music is dying out (along with some of the performers). Much of the music you hear on these radio station belong to what I call the "ding-ding-ding" sound of the 80s and 90s pop music. Two perfect examples of this are "Hello" by Lionel Ritchie and "Saving All My Love For You" by Whitney Houston. these radio stations are stuck in the "Just Say No" era.

There are people, like myself, who would listen to a soft rock/pop station if it the presentation wasn't directed at a "proud to be square" audience and the music was changed to be more smooth and vibrant, less bland and lifeless. They want something like this for when, as Gilligan at Retrospace would say, they are "making pancakes."

    
Here are some changes I would make to the "light" AC format:

1. Imagining and Liners - More funky and less sappy. Jingles should have be sort r&b/smooth jazz influenced with horns, not syrup strings with singers that sound like they should be on a Contemporary Christian radio station.
Sample liners:

• "Our radio station is like a night out with Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian, the other radio stations are like listening to speeches by Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachman."
•  "This radio station doesn't believe that there is such a thing as a prom dress that is too sexy for school."
•  "If you co-workers don't like this radio station, tell them to take a flying leap out a window."
•  "The only thing better for your kids than listening to our radio station is letting them stay home from school to watch reruns of The Simpsons and Family Guy all day."
• "We know that our listeners are usually busy. They have a wine cooler in one hand and a bong in the other, while they are trying to open a pack of condoms."
• "This radio station promises not to offend African-Americans, Gays, Hispanics, Native Americans, Jews or Atheist, but we are going to try and get your grandma's panties in a wad."

2. Move away from core artist of the past AC (Michael Buble, Josh Grobain, John Denver, Barry Manilow, Whitney Houston) and go for the artist driven from classic rock radio for not being hard enough or at least add more classic rock and R&B artist. It is what the young generation calls "yacht rock." Throw in some smooth jazz instrumentals for measure. Sample playlist:

•  "Wish You Were Here" Pink Floyd
•  "Fall On Me" Pousette-Dart Band
•  "Do It Again" Steely Dan
•  "Fool In the Rain" Led Zeppelin
•  "Special Lady" Ray Goodman and Brown
•  "All Apologies" Nirvana
•  "Come Softly To Me" Jane Oliver
•  "Peaches En Regalia" Frank Zappa
•  "Little Red Corvette" Prince
•  "I'm Gonna Love You" Barry White
•  "Jack & Jill" Raydio
•  "Tangled Up In Blue" Bob Dylan
•  "Year of the Cat" Al Stewart

3. In promotions, emphasis volunteering. You should give away prizes, but you should partner with a charity or volunteer organization, especially on remotes. Another thing is provide the audience with weather and news. Don't over do it, but the audience for a radio station like this will want to know what is going on. 
4. Make the morning show fun not a "cranky parent show." Find a host that is the caliber of David Letterman, Robin Williams or Bill Maher, not a wimpy hen-pecked husband who whines about there being "too much sex on TV." His female co-host should giggle at everything this guy says, but still be a person who the females in the audience will relate to. Also don't run down the artist being played. That defeats the purpose of playing them. Promote their concerts, appearances and music. Duh! Why can't modern radio stations do that the right way? Also don't insult or slam young people and children. Remember those people are the future of your radio station, if you insult them and run down the stuff they like will probably not listen to you in the future. This explains another reason that light AC is going away.

There is always room for a "light" radio station, but there needs to be revamping of the presentation and music. The people these radio stations tried to reach in the late 80s and 90s probably don't listen music radio anymore. They probably listen to the likes of Limbaugh and Hannity. So lets make a soft & light station for a fun crowd.

Of course, an opinion like these explain why I;m considered the Super-Villain of the Ozarks!!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!