Saturday, May 16, 2015


We've all done it. We watched a TV show we enjoyed as a child or teenager after we became an adult and thought, "Why did I like this as a kid? This is horrible." For me that TV show is The Dukes of Hazzard.

You have to understand that this was the era when most people only received four networks. You also didn't have a VCR or DVD player or PC to stream movies. The Dukes of Hazzard was also THE TV SHOW to watch among the sixth graders in Lebanon, Missouri. If you weren't watching The Dukes of Hazzard, you would be considered a worthless, piece of human garbage. Many of my former classmates are constantly posting and re-posting a meme on Facebook, which asserts that people who watched The Dukes of Hazzard and Hee Haw as kids are superior to others. I don't think there is any scientific facts to back this belief up.

Watching the show now on DVD or in reruns, it becomes obvious that after the first season, they basically did the same script over and over. As a matter of fact, most of the cast nearly quit between season four and five over this. This was part of the reason Tom Wopat and John Schneider walked off the show. According to a TV Guide article (Dec. 25 -31 1982), everyone else on the show wanted out.

Now, with that aside, the reason I can't stand watching the The Dukes of Hazzard now: The use of the phrase "good ole boys."  Bo and Luke, in the theme song by Waylon Jennings, are referred to as "good ole boys." At the time this show aired, when I was in sixth grade, I took it the "good ole boys" actually meant "a force of good in the universe" (my comic book geekiness showing).

After becoming an adult and getting out in the "real world," I noticed the term "good ole boy" used not for people doing good, but for people like Boss Hogg and Roscoe P. Coltrane. To be honest, Boss Hogg and Roscoe are Presidential Medal of Honor Winners compared to many of the "good ole boys" I've met and had to deal with in my adult life.

The phrase "good ole boy" tends to be a euphemism or secret code word for "my loud-mouthed, sleazy, unethical, racist, sexist, homophobic, smelly, alcoholic, redneck friend, that abuses his wife and kids, but I like better him than you." Every business or work place in this part of the country has, at least, one of these type of individuals under their roof.

This "good ole boy" doesn't have a college degree and just barely has a high school diploma, but somehow has ascended to a cushy management position and receives a huge paycheck. Of course, the reason is this guy kisses the butt of the boss by doing the dirty work he wants done. Usually, he is the cousin, brother-in-law, or high school drinking buddy of the boss. This guy usually bullies everyone, talks dirty to female employees, repeats dumb stuff he heard on talk radio (or sings along with a country radio station), brings Jim Beam in his thermos, reads back issues of Guns & Ammo and spits his tobacco juice in every adjacent waste basket, while everyone else does the hard work.

However, if the boss wants the tires of the employees trying to unionize slashed or a competitor's business burned to the ground or needs someone to stalk the nerdy boy sending flowers to his hot, smoking daughter, the "good ole boy" is ready to earn that paycheck he receives that is bigger than the other employees. He also is quick to run and tattle to the boss on the employees breaking a stupid company policy or talking about how they think he is a crooked tyrant. Of course, if you question this guy's unethical and downright bad behavior, you will get the response, "But he is a good ole boy." That absolves this guy of any wrong doing in the eyes of his small community.

The bad part about these "good ole boys" is that in many small communities they get elected to city council, county commission or the school board, where they usually vote against anything that would be good for the community. They always say they want to keep the community "just like Mayberry," but what they real want is for it to be just like Hazzard County. Sad part some of them go on to the state legislature and then...well, this explains most of the makeup of our current U.S. Congress. Yes folks, Boss Hogg and Roscoe P. Coltrane are running Washington, D.C. As Waylon Jennings would say, in his narration of the show, "Folks, this don't look good."

Maybe this version of the "good ole boy" is only a phenomenon of southwest Missouri, but I some how feel that it isn't the case. Every small community has a group of  "good ole boys" that do horrible things, but people just slaps them on the back and laugh about it.

After reading this, some will say, "So, Desdinova, are you saying that we shouldn't watch reruns of The Dukes of Hazzard. No, I'm just saying I don't enjoy it because of my experience with the "good ole boy" mentality.

However, there is one thing that I like about this show that I wish would become a common practice. I wish more women would wear pantyhose with their shorts like Daisy did. NOW THAT IS A GOOD THING! Of course, these opinions are why I'm considered the SUPER VILLAIN OF THE OZARKS!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!


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