Saturday, April 19, 2014


I've seen quite a bit of photos on the Internet of frightened, crying children on the lap of a department store Easter Bunny. Yes, some of the Easter Bunnies range from goofy to slightly scary.

Now, I'm going to upset people (which I like to do): I was never frightened by the Easter Bunny. Either my parents didn't make me feel that the Easter Bunny was threatening or I have no problem with six foot tall rabbits posing for photos with children at department stores. First of all, children are not supposed to be afraid of the Easter Bunny. They are supposed to be fun.

When I was about ten or eleven, I bought this Unexpected comic book. The cover is better than the story inside. In the story, giant Easter Bunny kidnaps a kid at an Easter egg hunt, covers the kid with chocolate and then bites the kid's head off as revenge for all the chocolate bunnies who had their heads bitten off my bratty children. In the passing years, I've seen this issue mentioned on list of the "dumbest comic book stories ever."

Let me also mention something else that I'm proud of: I AM ALSO NOT AFRAID OF CLOWNS. I don't understand the fear of clowns. I have seen whole websites dedicated to the hatred of clowns and I am more frightened by the people created these websites. The vitriol and hatred plastered on these websites are comparable to racism and homophobia. I feel the fear of clowns is so preposterous that I'm working on a giallo-type novel about a "killer clown."

Contrary to what these websites lead you to believe, there have been very few, if any, recorded clown/Easter Bunny child kidnappings.

I've noticed that the people I know on Facebook who seem to fear clowns and Easter Bunnies are the same one who think teenagers are stupid and should pull up their pants, the media gives more attention to celebrities than soldiers and the government is going to take away their freedoms. The bad part, many of these people are former classmates, who felt they were superior to me and called me a dork. At least, I can say I've never been afraid of a person in a Easter Bunny costume or a clown. Who really is the dork?

Of course, my opinions are why I'm considered the Super-Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  

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