Saturday, February 16, 2013


"The Future Mrs. Desdinova," Paris Hilton
After the last three post, you probably think I'm a romantic softy who loves Valentines Day. Truth is Valentines Day has not been kind to the Super Villain of the Ozarks. First off, my older sister, Villanova, would insisted on making me a Valentine box for school. They looked like what I imagine Liberace's elementary school Valentine box looked like.

In the sixth grade, I had a rotten teacher. He told the class that they didn't have to give a Valentine to any they didn't like. That year I only received five Valentines from a class of twenty-one kids (That teacher is running for a position on the Lebanon city council. I'd rather vote for this guy, who is running against him. He seems more reputable).

The "second" Eunice Moneymaker

First time I outed was after I made this post on the old blog about my junior high/high school crush, Eunice Moneymaker. A person calling himself "Rod Hance" was planning to e-mail the post to her. He also posted my real name on a local message board. The main reaction was "Who?" and "That makes sense. What is your point?" This "Rod Hance" guy was really a "Bubba" I went to junior high/high school with in Lebanon. His father was a local politician I was poking fun back then.

After that I stopped using a photo of the real Eunice Moneymaker and began using the photo above, which is from a 1950's yearbook (I have no idea who that girl is but she sure is cute - and now in her 70s). I will say that the original photo of the real Eunice Moneymaker is among the retro clutter at the top of the page. Oddly enough, someone at one point asked if that was a photo of Paris Hilton in middle school, because I had a running joke on the old blog that I planned to marry Paris Hilton (This is also what caused a local right-wing blogger to write a long tirade about how he thought Sarah Palin was more beautiful than Paris Hilton - Get a life!). After that I noticed that Eunice Moneymaker and Paris Hilton kind of look alike.

Eunice was always embarrassed that I showered her with gifts on Valentine's Day. My love for her received a chilly reception.  Old habits die hard and, on Thursday, I wished her a "Happy Valentine's Day" via Facebook and she wished me one back. Time changes things.

In college, I had a similar problem with a girl named Andrea. I found out that Eunice was at least nice to me. This little gal was pretty hateful and told me never to talk to her again. I recently found her on Facebook. She is still single. She also was working for the Romney/Ryan and a huge supporter of Todd Akin, so I now thank God that we didn't get together.

So what is the point to all of this? Well, readers if you haven't guessed, it means that I know the perfect songs for when things don't go right on Valentine's Day (or any other day). I'm not sure if KYTV's Ethan Forhetz has ever compiled a list like this, but it would be interesting to see his picks.

  1. "Forget You" Cee Lo Green (I like the version with the other word beginning with "F" too)
  2. "Positively 4th Street" Bob Dylan
  3. "Love Stinks" J. Geilis Band
  4. "The Breakup Song (They Don't Write'em Like That Anymore)" Greg Khin Band
  5. "Somebody That I Used To Know" Gotye
  6. "The Last Time" The Rolling Stones
  7. "Goodbye To You" Scandal
  8. "Find Another Fool" Quarterflash
  9. "I'm Not Your Stepping Stone" The Monkees/Sex Pistols
  10. "I Can See For Miles" The Who
  11. "The Rain" Oran Juice Jones ("You're a squirrel looking for a nut")
  12. "Since You've Been Gone" Rainbow
  13. "I'll Feel a Whole Lot Better" The Byrds
  14. "Chain of Fools" Aretha Franklin
  15. "Is It True?" Brenda Lee (Not the typical weepy Brenda Lee song-Jimmy Page is playing guitar)
  16. "Piece of My Heart" Big Brother & the Holding Company
  17. "Don't Bother Me" The Beatles
  18. "Laugh Laugh" The Beau Brumells
  19. "Blood & Roses" The Smithereens
  20. "The First Cut is the Deepest" Cat Stevens/Rod Stewart/Sheryl Crow/P.P. Arnold/The Koobas
  21. "We Don't Talk Anymore" Cliff Richard
  22. "Fool (If You Think It Is Over)" Chris Rea
  23. "Its Too Late" Carole King
  24. "How Can You Mend a Broken Heart" Bee Gees
  25. "You Won't See Me" The Beatles
  26. "Walk On By" Dionne Warwick/The Stranglers (Some relationships end so bad, you need the Stranglers version)
  27. "I Am a Rock" Simon & Garfunkel/The Church (Same here for the Church version)
  28. "Tainted Love/Where Did Our Love Go?" Soft Cell
  29. "It's All Over Now" The Rolling Stones
  30. "The Smile Has Left Your Eyes" Asia
  31. "Any Way The Wind Blows" Frank Zappa & The Mothers of Invention (The version on Freak Out)
  32. "I've Got To Use My Imagination" Gladys Knight & The Pips
  33. "Ever Fallen In Love?" The Buzzcocks
  34. "Do You Really Want To Hurt Me?" The Culture Club
  35. "Bad Time" Grand Funk Railroad
  36. "The Salt In My Tears" Martin Briley
  37. "Already Gone" The Eagles
  38. "Go Your Own Way" Fleetwood Mac
  39. "I've Found Someone of My Own" The Free Movement
  40. "You Keep Me Hanging On" Vanilla Fudge
  41. "You're No Good" Linda Ronstadt
  42. "Vicious" Lou Reed
  43. "These Eyes" Guess Who
  44. "I Hate Myself For Loving You" Joan Jett & the Blackhearts
  45. "One More Minute" Weird Al Yankovich
  46. "Kind of a Drag" The Buckinghams
  47. "It Hurts To Be In Love" Gene Pitney
  48. "We Just Disagree" Dave Mason
  49. "Bringing On a Heartbreak" Def Leppard
  50. "Liar" Three Dog Night
  51. "Sail On" The Commodores
  52. "Suspicious Minds" Elvis Presley
  53. "Two Out of Three Ain't Bad" Meat Loaf
  54. "Don't Do Me Like That" Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers
  55. "What Have I Done To Deserve This" Pet Shop Boys & Dusty Springfield
  56. "You Didn't Have to Be So Nice" The Loving Spoonful
  57. "She Don't Know Why I'm Here" the Last
  58. "Heart Full of Soul" The Yardbirds
  59. "Where Were You When I Needed You" The Grass Roots
  60. "Who's Crying Now" Journey
  61. "She's Not There" The Zombies
  62. "Didn't I (Blow Your Mind This Time)" The Delfonics
  63. "You're Gonna Miss Me Baby" 13th Floor Elevator
  64. "I'm Not In Love' 10CC
  65. "Day After Day" Badfinger
  66. "Cold As Ice" Foreigner
  67. "Misunderstanding" Genesis
  68. "Can't Stand Losing You" The Police
  69. "Out of Time' the Rolling Stones
  70. "Take It On the Run" REO Speedwagon
  71. "96 Tears" Question Mark and The Mysterians
  72. "I Ain't Gonna Eat My Heart Anymore" The Rascals
  73. "Poor Side of Town" Johnny Rivers
  74. "Something I've Got To Tell You" Glenda Collins
  75. "Things I'd Like To Say" New Colony Six
  76. "I Can't Stop Loving You" Ray Charles
  77. "Lies" The Knickerbockers
  78. "I'm Crying" The Animals
  79. "I Count the Tears" The Drifters
  80. "I Know a Heartache When I See One" Jennifer Warnes
  81. "I'm Sick of You" Iggy & the Stooges
  82. "Without You" Harry Nilsson
  83. "Diamonds and Rust" Joan Baez
  84. "New Day Yesterday" Jethro Tull
  85. "How Many More Time" Led Zeppelin
  86. "Most Likely You Go Your Way (And I'll Go Mine)" Bob Dylan
  87. "I'll Cry Instead" The Beatles
  88. "Runaway" Del Shannon
  89. "Since You're Gone" The Cars
  90. "Ain't That a Shame" Fats Domino/Cheap Trick
  91. "I Wonder What She's Doing Tonight" Boyce & Hart
  92. "Go Now" Moody Blues
  93. "The Crying Game" Boy George
  94.  "Who's Sorry Now" Connie Francis
  95. "Changes" Black Sabbath
  96. "Go Back" Crabby Appleton
  97. "I'm Down" The Beatles
  98. "I'm a Fool" Desi, Dino & Billy
  99. "I Remember You" Skid Row
  100. "Every Rose Has a Thorn" Poison

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